( video; stark )

[inebriety]

[Tony and Loki staring at everyone with shiteating grins on this great fourth of July.]

We’re happy to present the American Eagle. Customized for this very celebration, Captain America’s birthday. It has many features. Note its colourful plumage and the fact that it can sing the national . . . anthem? I believe that is what it called. Though why a nation needs its own song, I know not.

[Tony rolling his eyes.]

Because God Bless America etc etc. Our great nation was created so we may all look upon those asses today.

And since I blessed it last year, I have come again to bless it once more. With this eagle and my continued presence to his ass.
( Poorly made gif under the cut )

⚾ 001! video; un: yakyuu.luvr

[yakyuuman]

[ Hello Riverview! Today the feed opens with... the close-up of a face covering the whole visual. Wide, round, and unsettling eyes, with a potato nose and a smiling mouth that looks so enormous it takes up half of the screen and, if you pay close attention, you might be able to see the bottom of his throat.

Jyushimatsu is not aware that he's way too close to the camera. He never had a cellphone back home and never bothered with technology in general. It doesn't help that it seems he can't keep the device steady as his image is shaky at best and completely blurry at worst. It might hurt your eyes, so don't stare too much.

But anyway! Onto the more important things! ]

HI EVERYONE I'M JYUSHIMATSU NICE TO MEET YOU!

[ Sorry for your eardrums, too.

Thankfully his voice lowers after the introduction. ]

I came here a few weeks ago and I work as a mascot for the Riverview Rams! It's a baseball team! You should root for them!

But I'm using this thing now because I wanna do something super fun with you guys after the bad things that happened last month! Have you heard about softball? I didn't, until a cool guy told me about it a while ago! It's like baseball, but it's smaller and the balls are bigger!

[ He's also terribly bad at providing explanations. And the screen is gradually getting soaked in his spit. ]

SO!!! How about we just have a match? We form two teams and beat each other up with softball! Sounds great, right?

This is just an interest check, I guess? Let me know if you wanna join! I'll be waiting all day!


[ FILTERED @ WALLY WEST... after he spent a long time trying and failing. One of his brothers had to teach him. ]

Hey look, I did the thing! Was that good? Think lots of people are gonna join?

[ He flails at the camera, now standing at a proper distance. ]