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entry_info={ .01 span:ARRIVAL, engage:VIDEO }, username=stark.naked

[ The look on Tony's face as the feed clicks on is clearly unamused. Possibly even Unamused, capital and all. Why is he so irritated you might ask? Well, don't you worry about that, he is bound to let you know. As soon as he finishes sipping on his coffee in a more than obnoxious way. If you look close enough, and know Tony, you will be able to see a darkness beneath his eyes, the kind that comes with too much coffee and too many ideas and not enough hours in the day, so clearly he has to sacrifice some of the night for the Greater Good or some shit.

Whatever. That is why there is coffee.

Once the coffee has been consumed, Tony gets up from where he is sitting, and it becomes very obvious that he is in the kitchen on the floor, a kitchen you have all seen thanks to a Viking, but there is no sign of him now. However, there are signs of someone making a rather large breakfast here (if only you could smell it, seriously, Tony would kill to eat some of it okay) and not sharing.

This? This is why Tony is unamused.]

Really, you come in here, use the space and leave the dishes, while also not sharing?

[ Steve is gonna be annoyed. Not that he isn't usually in that state. The images shifts as Tony puts the phone down, and there is the sound of more coffee making its way into his cup while you get a lovely view of the ceiling. Look, no scorch marks. Yet.]

That's just rude, even for gods of chaos and mischief. And here I was going to make you a fancy partial AI for your phone. Ha.

[ Look, he doesn't know if it was Loki, but he assumes it is. Because if it was Steve or Bucky they would have shared, and he is pretty sure that Stephen only eats things that are still moving, and Billy-- well maybe him too. But for now, his ire is on Loki.]

Also, working on some ideas for the defence perimeter, some new weapons and targeting systems, if there is anyone that has any ideas, let me know. I mean, I've probably already thought of it, but still might be nice to bounce ideas around.

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[ Oh god, they are in trouble for sure. Tony laughs at that response, thinks of how hilarious it is going to be to tell Sam back home about this, and decides to continue making terrible life choices and doesn't stop.]

What is that saying? Nothing worth knowing comes easy?

[ Tony is still caught up on amused when Sam states his universe is weird, and the engineer just shrugs.] Nah, yours is just boring.

Depends on what that thing is, doesn't it?

[ Something else comes to his mind, but he doesn't voice it. No need to be totally blatant in public, after all - that sort of thing's best saved for private. ]

Yeah, you're telling me. I don't even have any superpowers.

[ And there's a bit of a disgruntled huff to his tone. Sam's okay with who he is most of the time, but he has to admit, being a superhero would be a lot cooler if he had actual powers. ]

You have a point, you have a point.

[ It is kind of nice to talk to someone that doesn't freak the fuck out over who he is, or harbour some intense and automatic deep loathing for him. Thanks Sam. The flirting is a nice touch too.]

Nothing? I mean, clearly you have some training if you are Falcon, so how did that happen? I assume you were never a HYDRA experiment.

-A HYDRA experiment?

[ There's a bit of a 'what the fuck' look on Sam's face. What has other Sam been getting up to? If he shows up, they are going to have a Talk. ]

Look, I don't really use the name a whole lot, but it comes from the wings. Project Falcon was the code name the government had for the jetpack when they originally bought it from Stark Enterprises - and it wasn't as pretty then. Military issue, you know. This is the souped up version. [ He tilts the camera down so Tony can get a better look at his jetpack. ]

[ .... so that is certain no on the HYDRA thing.]

Um, yes? Hence your bird, and the telepathy thing and-- whatever. And good to know I still make terrible choices to sell things to the government. It is clear I never learn. [ s i g h ] Also, I can make it prettier, trust you me. Actually... I might need vibranium because that is what I made your other wings out of, but still! Can be made better.

[ . . . ]

Maybe when we have a solid defence system up and I have more of an idea of what things I can cannibalise from this place.

Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, you stopped real quick after those terrorists kidnapped you in Afghanistan.

[ Sam Wilson, professional comforter. ]

I think I'll pass on the talking to birds if it means I'd have to be experimented on by HYDRA. [ Because he's seen the results of that, and it isn't pretty. ] Everything I have, I got from years of training in the Air Force.

-oh, yeah, I'm sure T'Challa would be real eager to cough that up even if we were in the same universe. Only vibranium I've ever seen is his claws and Steve's shield. There's no way you'd get enough to make a set of wings.

[ Huh. Okay. That. Whatever.]

Well I learned a lot faster in your world then. But the Air Force is cool, I mean my best friend is in--

[ Tony stops. Mouth snapping shut.

Rhodey.

He doesn't want to touch that right now, nope. Not gonna so just... moving right along thank you. Vibranium, yes. That is a safe topic.]

Uh. T'Challa would? I mean, there are other places to find it but, um, it's not that rare? Also pretty sure his whole suit is vibranium infused.

[ Sam flinches as Tony almost mentions Rhodey, too. He hasn't heard anything about the man's condition lately, worries that he'll never walk again. He knows it's not his fault, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel goddamn guilty about it. ]

Well, I didn't ask him about the whole suit. He was a little pissy after I made a cat joke. But, uh, it's pretty damn rare where I come from. Far as I know, anyway. Which I'll admit isn't too far.

[ Look, at least you didn't get Rhodey flat out killed okay. If Tony ever hears about what happened, all of it, he wouldn't blame Sam, just like he will eventually stop blaming Carol for what happened to Rhodey in his universe. Maybe he already has, but that doesn't make the loss hurt any less.

The subject change is a nice one, that is for sure. Tony is amused, and then outright cackles when Sam mentions that he made a cat joke. Oh, you are a precious human being, Sam. Precious.]

Okay, first off, rare but not really I guess? Also, please tell me what the cat joke was, please, this sounds great.

Oh, I just- asked him if he liked cats or something, since he was dressed up like one. I mean, I've never met an adult who dressed up as some kind of animal, you know? We don't have themes like that, like Natasha doesn't wear spider legs - hell, even that annoying-ass spider kid didn't dress like a goddamn spider.

He didn't answer me, just gave me this dirty look. Never did get an answer, actually.

You asked--

[ Jesus fucking Christ, give him a second because he is going to cackle a little bit right now. You asked the King of Wakanda if he liked cats. Fuck, he likes you.]

You know, you're lucky he didn't backhand you. Having been on the receiving end of that once before, it hurts like a bitch.

Yeah, I sparred with him a couple times while I was in Wakanda. Never did find out if he liked cats, though.

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