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2 [anonymous//video]
[The video starts up a bit like an old 70's VHS tape; grainy quality, washed-out colors, that weird lilt in the music as it starts up. The specific music that plays is a bright and cheery tune from the 50's, like something one would find on the shopping channel back in the day.
What it actually shows is a crude puppet, with a scribbled-on baseball for a head and googly eyes that have weirdly realistic irises. It seems to be made to exist in a permanent state of shock, or... terror. Everything about the image is just a little bit wrong.]
[The words appear on a sort of title card, like a silent film, as if the creator hasn't mixed around with his vintage inspiration enough. And then the puppet can be seen spinning to look at the screen, its eyes jostled in their plastic sockets. Gross.]
[In the style of certain vintage-themed video games, the puppet can be seen in between these pitches engaged in actions related to each question. Pointing a spear at a stuffed animal of some monster. Crying at his bedside. Hiding from shadows in a corner of a room. Shoving another puppet off of a cliff. Hugging another equally not-quite-right puppet... and then a very crude display in the last clip (but at least they're not anatomically correct).
Finally the brand name flashes across the screen, in bright, rainbow, neon letters.]
[At the very bottom of the screen, very small and blurry text flashes by very fast; if one goes through it frame-by-frame and squints they may notice the words "Test subjects will be selected randomly. Experiments will occur when subjects least expect." Some frames also seem to be replaced by arcane symbols and satanic imagery, as if to scare those trying to read the small text. If one is watching at normal speed, this all flashes by in the blink of an eye before the video suddenly cuts out. Hmm...]
What it actually shows is a crude puppet, with a scribbled-on baseball for a head and googly eyes that have weirdly realistic irises. It seems to be made to exist in a permanent state of shock, or... terror. Everything about the image is just a little bit wrong.]
Hey you! Yes, you!
[The words appear on a sort of title card, like a silent film, as if the creator hasn't mixed around with his vintage inspiration enough. And then the puppet can be seen spinning to look at the screen, its eyes jostled in their plastic sockets. Gross.]
Are you in need of PROTECTION AGAINST MONSTERS? Do you suspect someone isn't TELLING THE TRUTH?
Do you enjoy the RUSH OF FEAR? Do you seek to TEST YOUR LOYALTIES?
Do you wish to DEEPEN YOUR BONDS? (Or LIVEN YOUR INTIMATE LIFE?)
Do you enjoy the RUSH OF FEAR? Do you seek to TEST YOUR LOYALTIES?
Do you wish to DEEPEN YOUR BONDS? (Or LIVEN YOUR INTIMATE LIFE?)
[In the style of certain vintage-themed video games, the puppet can be seen in between these pitches engaged in actions related to each question. Pointing a spear at a stuffed animal of some monster. Crying at his bedside. Hiding from shadows in a corner of a room. Shoving another puppet off of a cliff. Hugging another equally not-quite-right puppet... and then a very crude display in the last clip (but at least they're not anatomically correct).
Finally the brand name flashes across the screen, in bright, rainbow, neon letters.]
LAMPYR
is here for you.
Enroll below for beta testing of this sensational product!
is here for you.
Enroll below for beta testing of this sensational product!
[At the very bottom of the screen, very small and blurry text flashes by very fast; if one goes through it frame-by-frame and squints they may notice the words "Test subjects will be selected randomly. Experiments will occur when subjects least expect." Some frames also seem to be replaced by arcane symbols and satanic imagery, as if to scare those trying to read the small text. If one is watching at normal speed, this all flashes by in the blink of an eye before the video suddenly cuts out. Hmm...]
no subject
[Is he making his response sound like an email scam on purpose? Maybe.]
no subject
no subject
Perhaps I can interest you in the pursuit of confidence, motivation or self-acceptance. It might help you to leave the unfulfilling lifestyle you currently have.
no subject
oh? careful there, i've only talked to so many people that would have any idea that's a valid thing to try to sell me on a bogus product for.
no subject
[He's pulling out a lot of big words, mostly just to separate himself from his usual lazy and swear-heavy speech patterns.]
If you'd like to track down our identities, that's your own initiative. However, watching your brother's trial might help convince you that our product is legitimate and able to help you.
i know how to use html really i do
[Ichimatsu's no detective, but Dodger is still one of the only people he'd suspect just from having known most of the other people he's talked to already.]
you leave him the fuck out of this, he's too stupid to tell you no.
no sweat dw is just broken
Every pharmaceutical drug was experimental at one point or another. We're only seeking brave souls to help ensure the safety of others once it becomes widely available.
no subject
and when shit goes wrong, because you're anonymous you won't have any consequence to answer to.
sounds like a grade a scam to me.
[He doesn't react to the part about concern for his brother.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
If you're not interested in the potential gains, you're not obligated to participate.