text | un: j.jones

[hardedged]

[ jessica jones doesn't want to be here. yes, she sat through the orientation video, as crapass and cheesy as it was, and told the assholes who greeted her that this was a mistake. she doesn't need to be rescued or sent to a new home, but despite her demand to return to her world, she would have to wait. it's difficult to navigate the portal, they inform her, and they ask for her patience. too bad that she lacks any.

a few hours after her arrival, jess decides to grace the network with her presence. what else is there to do while she waits around in a city on the fucking moon? ]

i didn't sign up for this star trek narnia bullshit. how long does it take to fix this goddamn portal?

and where can i find a decent drink in this shithole?

[ #priorities ]

Comments

[idolpire]

[He was clearly the best helper in the entire universe, Jessica. Wow. So suspicious.]

Not that long. I know bars. I know shitholes. I know how to find what I want in any part of the world. This one's not too different.

[hardedged]

yeah well, what i want is a way out. know how to find that?

[idolpire]

We all got the same story you did, lamb. We wait or we stay. Could be worse. At least they shack you up when you get here.

[hardedged]

who the hell are you calling a lamb

[ because that's the takeaway from his comment. she's so offended right now. not cool, man. not cool. ]

[idolpire]

Would you prefer pussycat? Maybe bitch?

[hardedged]

more like the asshole who's gonna punch you in the face

[ well, at least she acknowledges that she's an asshole. impressive self-awareness. ]

[idolpire]

Flirting already? Cheeky minx.

[hardedged]

i don't flirt. keep it up, shithead, and you'll find out how cheeky i can get.

[idolpire]

Careful, pet. I like a little bit of rough and tumble. Practically foreplay for vampires.

[Warning her was the least he could do. He'd made a previous statement that he'd be upfront. If she wanted to start a little tussle, he had to at least let her know what she was tussling with -- even if, technically, he couldn't tussle properly at the moment. Still...]

[hardedged]

bullshit

[ a vampire. yeah fucking right. then again, she's seen stranger. hell, this whole place is goddamn weird. ]

[idolpire]

Which part? What I like, or what I am? Happy to prove either.

Maybe over a drink?

[hardedged]

pass, edward cullen. keep that kinky shit to yourself.

[idolpire]

Real vampires don't bloody well sparkle.

[Well now she'd just gone and insulted him.]

[hardedged]

[ oh good. payback's a bitch, and her name is jessica jones. ]

i bet you shine like a diamond in the sun

[idolpire]

I bet you hit like a girl.

[hardedged]

i do. one that can knock you out cold.

[idolpire]

[Suspicion.]

You're not another bloody Slayer, are you?

[hardedged]

[ jessica has no clue what a slayer is, but she's not about to give the game away. why do that when she can just screw with him instead? ]

yep

[idolpire]

Yeah? A Slayer that drinks? Where're you from? Bulgaria?

[hardedged]

slaying's no fun if you're sober

[ is she doing this right. who the hell knows. #nailedit ]

[idolpire]

I've seen a Slayer fight drunk. She didn't last long. Of course, I was surprised she made it past her sixteenth birthday. If you're a lush, you're either a very young lush, or a very old liar.

[hardedged]

believe what you want, bloodsucker. i don't give a damn.

[idolpire]

Why don't you threaten me over a drink, then?

[hardedged]

are you desperate to get your ass kicked or something?

[idolpire]

Told you, it's flirting. If you're half as pretty as you are cheeky, it'll be worth it.