video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

Comments

video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

Don't encourage her.

[As if that couldn't be directed at both of them.]

[imperceptus]

Ah, but that's precisely what I want to do.

[ Not really. It pains him to see siblings getting along so well. He pauses for a beat, then goes on. ]

I'd take you up on the languages, but I don't know if you'd find mine useful. They're mostly good for communicating with eldritch horrors. Or other drow.

[ Then there's the thieves' cant, but that's only for rogues. ]

[spellslots]

Don't think I won't kick your ass, too.

[He won't, he likes Rin.]

I'm so down for communicating with eldritch horrors, I already got a whole tentacle brand going, might as well build on it.

[imperceptus]

Oh, my.

[ The instinctively defensive part of him--the part that can't fathom anyone joking with him like a friend--thinks I'd like to see you try. But he keeps that tamped down. ]

Tentacle--brand?

[ Gonna have to elaborate on that one, buddy. ]

[spellslots]

I dunno how familiar you are with wizard spells, but last time I cast Evard's Black Tentacles I totally landed myself a date, so...

[So now it's his #brand, might as well roll with what works]

[imperceptus]

Not with the tentacles, I hope.

[ A JOKE ... But he does know that spell--that kind of grisly thing was a favorite in the Sorcere. ]

[spellslots]

Unfortunately we didn't even get to a goodnight kiss, so the tentacles will have to wait for another chance.

[SOMEONE ruined his date by trying to flambé Kravtiz.]

[imperceptus]

Ah, well, you know what they say: never summon too many tentacles on the first date.

[ Poor Taako. ]

[spellslots]

That sounds like something a coward would say.

[He's the worst.]

[imperceptus]

[ His hand flutters to his chest. ]

My, what a dire accusation! Sadly, I haven't a drop of magic in me [ a lie ], and couldn't call in tentacles even if I wanted to. I trust you to carry on this heroic and ominously wriggling work, though.

[spellslots]

Just cause you don't have magic doesn't mean you can't appreciate the introduction of tentacles on a first date.

[Goodness, Rin!!!

Taako is laughing, though.]

[imperceptus]

True, true. I suppose I'm simply not an adventurous soul.

[spellslots]

I guess someone has to be vanilla, just to make sure the rest of us look adventurous.

[lbr Taako is pretty vanilla but he's not going to let the truth get in the way of a joke.]

[imperceptus]

[ Conversely, Rin is weird as shit, but he's not going to let the truth get in the way of literally anything. ]

A difficult job, but someone has to do it. I meekly bear the burden.

[spellslots]

[Taako laughs.]

I don't think meek is a word I'd associate with you.

[That's a compliment.]

[imperceptus]

[ He bows his head. ]

Perhaps gentle and unassuming? No? Well, I do try.

[spellslots]

Gentle and unassuming is just a nice way of saying boring.

[And Rin isn't boring.]