video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

Comments

video @lightemup

[umbrastaff]

Five billion?!

...how has your brain not blown up?

[axefight]

[ modestly: ]

I've got a very large brain.

[umbrastaff]

[She snorts at that, and then starts laughing.]

Okay, you're good by me.

[axefight]

[ at this point, he actually looks at the username, and something clicks. ]

...Ah, you're the pyromaniac sister he mentioned, aren't you.

[umbrastaff]

Pyromaniac? I mean, he doesn't have any other ones so I guess that's correct.

[axefight]

[ shrugs, hands raised slightly. ]

All he told me. [ in a taako accent, ] "She burnt my eyebrows off!", just like that.

[umbrastaff]

[She mock-gasps at that.]

I've only done that... twice?

[axefight]

Oh, that's hardly anything. What's stopping you?

[umbrastaff]

He gets really whiny when I do.

[axefight]

Earplugs.

[spellslots]

I do not sound like that.

[fucking rude m8]

[axefight]

That is exactly what you sound like.

[spellslots]

Bullshit.

[axefight]

I'm sorry, if you'd never realized it. I hadn't intended to shatter your self-concept.

[spellslots]

[Taako just sticks his tongue out.]

You're just wrong, pumpkin. I sound like Lulu, and she doesn't sound like that either.

[axefight]

If that helps you sleep at night.

[ wait. ]

Not - no, no 'pumpkin.'

[spellslots]

[Oh this is better, the voice mimicry is totally forgotten.]

Whatcha gonna do about it?

[cant stop this]

[axefight]

[ s h i t he immediately regrets. ]

...Have no further reaction.

[ yes there, that's good and boring and won't encourage him. ]

[spellslots]

Oh, good, that means you don't mind then, right?

[ :) ]

[axefight]

[ wipes his face with his hand SIGHS INTO HIS PALM.

that's a reaction, he's already failed. ]

Seriously?

[ he's been a good person, he's done nothing to deserve this. ]

[spellslots]

Oh, absolutely.

[This is what he gets for accidentally befriending Taako.]

[axefight]

[ clearly his worst mistake.

he opens his mouth

closes it. ]

I'm not - I'm not a - [ pumpkin?? he gestures pointlessly, but gives up after a second.

relents. ] I suppose I should just expect this from you.

[ 'this' being everything. he doesn't totally mean that in a bad way...? ]

[spellslots]

I don't know why most people don't figure it out sooner.

[There's nothing mean behind the little nicknames he gives, they're just the way he talks to people.]

If it helps, we can swap pumpkin out for something else.

[axefight]

[ as undignified as it is... he gets it. ]

No - no, it doesn't really matter. D'you know the sorts of things I've been called? [ i mean, no, how would he. ]

It's fine, squash.

[spellslots]

[Taako hums a laugh.]

B minus for effort, you should've stuck with the vegetable theme and still got something that works as a term of endearment. Like sweetpea.

[ :) ]