video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

Comments

[amelioraate]

Okay but.... how? Like... that actually doesn't make sense to me at all? What the fuck do you use in order to --

[ he cuts off waving his hands a little because what the fuck? this is why he has issues with magic okay, it literally makes no sense what so ever.

that isn't to say he isn't curious as all fuck about this though.]

Distance and time make sense, but then how to they fit into the... spell or whatever? Nothing else is necessary?

[spellslots]

I gotta be thinking about how much time each spell takes to cast, how long it lasts, what the other guys are doing with their own shit. I mean, when it comes down to it that's pretty basic math, but you know. [Does he. Does anyone.] Then there's area of effect for most spells, something like thunderwave hits a fifteen foot cube surrounding me, so being able to roughly figure out where everyone's standing in relation to myself is real helpful, especially since I can't shape my spells to avoid hitting the idiots I like.

[Lup can, but that doesn't help him much.]

I guess you could make an argument for probability, since that does factor into some spells, but unless you're a fucking genius it's not all that helpful when you're facing off against three ogres and you got five seconds to cast something before they punch you so hard you die.

[amelioraate]

.... so you still use an equation but you don't use numerical variables in order to solve for the final outcome. You still use math just... not with numbers. Also, spells are less like targeted missiles and more like... waves of energy?

[ oh no, he is INTERESTED now. prepare for all the questions, Takko, PREPARE. ]

And what do you mean probability? Like of the spell working, or of it working to maximum effect? Because why wouldn't you just make a program that does that for you on the fly? I mean, that would beat... ogres I would think?

[spellslots]

[You've lost him on like half of that.]

Some spells are targeted, but a whole bunch are just about hitting a like fifty foot circle of dipshits.

[The rest of it he can probably answer.]

Both, sometimes spells just don't work, sometimes they work not great or real fucking great. [Dice rolls!] And if you're expecting some regular idiot to have access to computer program you're gonna be in for a surprise. There's like, one dude with that shit and he's got it cause he stole it from the plane of thought.

[amelioraate]

[ now you know how he feels everytime he talks to someone about magic. ]

What makes the difference between the targeted spells and the blind ones? Are there changeable parameters or that's just... how they are? Wait, how do you know all the spells?

[ HOW DOES THIS WORK. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. HE DOESN'T GET IT YOUR MAGIC WORKS EVEN MORE AKSHJDFLAJSDF THAN LOKI'S.

also, excuse u, a what?]

A plane... of thought. Like. A whole dimension of just thought or.....?

[spellslots]

I've got a spell book, my dude. I copy down shit from other wizards. A lotta spells come from experimentation and then they pass that shit on, but like, I'm not stupid enough to try making up my own shit.

[That's how to get exploded, and he likes all his limbs where they are.]

Nah, it's a plane? Like there's twelve of them in most realities, uh... hang on.

[That "hang on" is so Taako can scoot back a little so that when he casts minor illusion, the whole thing is in view.

What he creates is one blue-green-silver disk that's being orbited by eleven other disks of varying colours, from amethyst to emerald.]

The one in the middle, that's the material plane, so like, the observable universe including planets and shit. Then you've got the astral plane, that's where dead thugs go. [He gestures to each disk as he references them.] Celestial plane is where the gods kick it. The elemental, light and shadow, and magical planes are where that like... raw energy for the material plane comes from, but it's filtered through the ethereal plane so that we're not like on fire fucking constantly or what have you. I guess the plane of thought kinda filters through as well, but that's where like, uh, where creativity and innovation come from, you know? Only this one family in my world found a way to peek straight into it and started stealing ideas, trains and robots and elevators and shit.

[That's why his world is more advanced than it should be, for a bullshit fantasy world.]

And there's your planar system 101. I've seen 'em all, it's fucking wild.