text; knight.time

[chumpelstiltskin]

aight so
forgive the informality here
ive never done a business proposal before
hold up ignore this

ladies and gentlemen of the business owning variety
i have a proposal for you
and its so highly sought after its like i took twelve of you to an island and pitted you against each other until i picked my fave
only im just kidding
this is for anyone who owns a business that has the capacity to sell shit on my behalf
and lo and behold
its not drugs

i got this show on tv
you might have seen it
we were operating under the title of the dark secrets from the crypt of peewee herman but it didnt roll off the tongue
so we called it sweet bro and hella jeff
or i did
everyone else is a lackey here to do the intricate shading on the ass cheeks of every character
you have to outsource the hard work sometimes
anyway
its surprisingly popular considering the time slot is ass o clock
but apparently thats noon for stoners
so its gaining some sort of traction
riverview weekly called it a confusing cult classic
they also begged me to stop
pending that thought id like to get some merch out there
im not interested in running a store
but if i could set up shop in some local businesses
get some staff wearing some shit
we might have a good thing going

youd get a cut of the profits of course
im not scrooge
and i dont really care about money so much as i care about everyone walking around in my shit

lmk if youre interested
serious proposals only
of the romantic and business kind
whatever floats your boat

check out these samples and think about how much youd like to degrade yourself for some extra cash



snensual~~~~~



eggsotik

Comments

[heirlift]

come on you know i'm just playing with you

but you should keep up with the photography
i bet if you did enough of it you could make it into a job eventually
people like having their pictures taken and stuff like that!

[chumpelstiltskin]

thats not untrue
it looks like they like parties here
and getting too drunk to hold cameras
i dont know if im really cut to take photos of people
other people
at least
not while theyre aware of it
which sounds perverted
like im scoping people out in the bushes in my tartan and hunting hat
what im saying is
ill consider it
i dont really have room for a make shift dark room tho

[heirlift]

there's a difference between candid shots and creeping you know.
you really aren't scoping people out from the bushes, right?

hmmmm i guess the dark room thing would be a problem though.
how much does a house cost again?

[chumpelstiltskin]

a considerable amount of grist last i remember
i dont know if they accept magical digital rocks as a currency here though
ive seen my salary and im starting to feel like a real big boy though
starting to think i can buy laundry softner and the upscale brand of juice

[heirlift]

woah that's pretty fancy!
i'm still working my way up to dryer sheets and the fancy cup noodles.

okay so maybe a house is out but we'll find a way!
maybe we'll get you one of those fancy digital cameras.

[chumpelstiltskin]

do you think we can do that
that we can up and buy a house in this economy

(i dont know what the economy here is like)
(actually it seems like its boomin)

you know wed have to like
clean it and stuff

[heirlift]

i don't know??
but we can look around, see what's out there.
we are real adults with real jobs now!
which is really weird.
but we might as well make use of it.

[chumpelstiltskin]

it is really weird
and were probably trapped in an alternate universe
but im down
im really not embracing the shared dorm thing
not knowing when to take a shit
not knowing when the blankets are a little tented or when someone is having personal intimacy
little things
look at that
were getting a house

[heirlift]

hahah i guess i'll start planning the house warming.
i call dibs on picking all the home decor though.
otherwise we're going to end up with crappy jpeg artifacts all over the walls!

[chumpelstiltskin]

ill have you know i am on the very cutting edge of interior design
i have this shabby chic going on
only theres nothing chic about it
its just shabby shit
and everything that can be replaced with cinder blocks will be replaced by cinder blocks
nothing says i am a young and successful man like looking as though youve robbed a construction site

[heirlift]

ok well i don't want to be either shabby or chic. i just want to be normal!
you go back to drawing comics and i guess i'll handle the home making?

uh. i mean. literally.
anyway have fun let's talk about this later!

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