riverview | video; @star.lord

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video; @star.lord

[ Distinguished and not-so distinguished residents of Riverview, hello.

Currently, you are graced with a mugshot of one Peter “Space-Duke” Quill and a view of the messier half of his shared apartment. In his hand is his trusty mp3 player – which boasts at least three hundred songs, holy crap, y’all – and while he has one bud in his ear, the other dangles from the wire. ]

So. Apparently if nothing else, this place has, like, all the music ever. So if I’ve gotta be stuck here, might as well make the most of it, right?

I’m on the hunt for somethin’ new. Tryin’ to play a whole lot of catch up. If anyone’s got any music recommendations, I’m all ears. Songs, artists, albums, weird, avant-garde stuff with a guy saying “number nine” over and over – hit me with your best shot. I’ll try anything once.

Also, uh.

[ A pause, and he turns the mp3 player’s face toward the camera. The screen happily displays the album art of The Best of Earth, Wind & Fire, Vol. 1 while “September” plays. Zunes, man!! Aren’t they rad? ]

Don’t suppose anyone here’s familiar enough with this that they can show me how to add stuff?

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Oh, shit. [ Punched out of him, without any real thought. ] That's... heavy.

[ (she's not heavy, she's her sister.)

Peter isn't exactly Nebula's biggest fan, just based on what little he knew of her. It didn't help that she would have tried to kill them on the Dark Aster had it not been for Drax's itchy trigger finger, or that she was seemingly willing to help Ronan wipe out planet after planet.

But then again, there wasn't a lot he know about Nebula, in the same way there was a lot he didn't know about Gamora. He supposes he ought to give her the benefit of the doubt, except he's still, like, 65% sure she's a murderous psycho who'd shove him in front of a train if she had half a chance. ]

What'd you say?

[ Gamora's lips purse, and when she speaks again, she really can't bring herself to look over at Peter. ]

What could I say?

[ She shakes her head, her jaw clenching. ]

Every modification on Nebula's body is because of me. Every time we were pitted against each other as children, I would win, and Nebula's punishment would be the removal of another piece of herself.

I knew what she endured, and I never wanted to go through it more than I already had.

[ She'd experienced more than her fair share of it, after all, and whenever she could avoid it, she did. ]

I put my own survival above her life. She reached out to me, time and again, and I took advantage of it.

I destroyed her to save myself.

[ Oh, Jesus Christ. And he thought the last info bomb was heavy.

The words stun Peter into silence for a long while, and he stops walking to stare at her. ]

That’s not— [ He shakes his head sharply, his frown deepening. ] You don’t— actually think that, do you? That it was your fault?

[ Gamora hesitates, then shakes her head. ]

I was a child, and I was trying to keep myself alive. Intact.

But I rejected her, when she was far more family to me than anything else I'd experienced under Thanos's control.

[ And by the time she tried to appeal to Nebula, the wounds were too deep.

Nebula was already her sister, her family, and now with Guardians, she'd wanted to cling to that even more. To somehow heal what they are. She's learned so much about being a family, but she doesn't... know how to fix things. ]

But she was in pain and alone for all of those years.

[ Peter's head bows a little at that.

He knows a thing or two about pushing people away, after all, about refusing to see the folks around him as family. And he knows with far too much familiarity what happens when a guy realizes far too late how deeply those roots run.

Hesitating, he reaches out across the space between them, a hand resting on her shoulder. ]

Well, she's got you now, right? That's gotta count for something.

[ There's no sudden tension that springs into Gamora's shoulders at the touch – if anything, she seems to ease slightly. ]

If I see her again. She may have gotten herself killed trying to seek her revenge before we can even get back to our world.

[ That's what concerns her most. Nebula is so driven by her rage and her need to see Thanos suffer, but—

She doesn't believe Nebula has a chance in hell at taking down the Mad Titan. ]

[ She doesn't pull away, so Peter doesn't, either. Instead he runs his hand along her upper arm – a quiet, reassuring gesture. ]

Have some faith, huh? I think... I mean, I figure if she ever formulates a plan or anything, she'd probably want some help, right?

[ And who better to help than a team of half-crazed former criminals, some of whom have a vested interests in seeing Thanos taken down? ]

[ There's a twist in her expression, something darkening. She knows that Peter is trying to be comforting, but— ]

You don't understand what he's capable of.

[ There's a reason Gamora tried to warn Nebula away from her futile quest, why Gamora herself was intending to take the units from the Collector and run. ]

[ Maybe at another time he'd argue. Peter's heard stories, because who hasn't? A tyrant with the sorts of weapons at his disposal that most folks can only dream about. An unknown quantity, because for as however often as he appeared, wiping out planets full of people, he also stayed quiet, practically disappeared from the galactic theater without even a bow.

So he knows Thanos is terrifying. He knows Thanos is dangerous.

But he doesn't know like Gamora knows. ]

You're right. I don't.

[ He's quiet for a second, then, a little pensively, ]

... But I probably should. I mean, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy. We're gonna have to, you know, guard the galaxy from him eventually, don't you think?

[ She's admittedly grateful he doesn't try to argue with her; Peter hasn't experienced Thanos firsthand, he hasn't had to live under his reign of terror, and to assume he knows Thanos would be insulting.

Her jaw still tics minutely, her eyes narrowed as she looks across the trees. ]

I do not know how we could ever hope to fight him.

[ She believes in the Guardians, certainly, but she doesn't necessarily believe that they could deal with Thanos head-on. ]

[ He frowns at her, almost startled. It's— weird, hearing Gamora say something like that. He's heard her be pessimistic before, of course, like when they stood in the control room in the Kyln as she lamented the fact she was going to die in that stupid room. Or that day over Xandar, when they threw themselves into their suicide mission against Ronan like a band of idiots.

So, yeah, she's been pessimistic. She's been cynical, but it'd been borne out of irritation.

This— just sounds defeatist. ]

We just need more firepower. That's all.

[ "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

He pauses, stepping around to rest both of his hands on her shoulders, his touch light and careful. ]

We'll work our way up to it. But— I think... I think one of these days, he's gonna be a problem that's gonna fall on our plate, whether we're ready for it or not.

[ The hardest part about this is that Gamora knows Peter is right. Thanos is only growing more and more dangerous, and at some point, he's finally going to strike. They'll need more than just their own power if they intend to stand against him.

She draws her eyes up when Peter steps in front of her, and though she tries to keep that hardened look in place, steely as ever, there's a touch of fear in her eyes.

Hesitantly, she reaches up, her hand hooking gently over his wrist – not to pull him away or break contact, but for something to hold onto to. ]

I know that.

[ They'll have no choice but to deal with him. ]

But we aren't ready now.

[ The team is fractured, they've been removed from their own world, and in the wake of everything else, she doesn't think they're up for it yet. ]

[ Oh, man.

Peter's not sure if he's ever seen Gamora look like this. She's always so— brave. Fearless. The sort of person who'd see a ten-story monster and go for a weapon rather than run away. So to see her like this, with that little thread of dread in her eyes – it's a little intimidating.

... No. Scratch that. A lot intimidating.

And Gamora's right, too. They barely got away from Ego, and for as powerful as he had been, he had only been one guy. Thanos has entire armies, trusted generals. What could a bunch of assholes possibly hope to do against that? ]

Maybe not now, yeah, but— we can be.

[ A little touch of determination.

He holds her gaze for a few more seconds before letting out a breath, bowing his head. Absently, he runs his hand up and down her arm again. ]

Sorry. That's not what we're here to talk about. I didn't mean to derail you like that.

[ She wants to share his determination. Gamora doesn't cower, and she doesn't turn away from a fight – except this. With the units from selling the orb, she'd intended to get as far away as possible; disappearing was her only hope of escape, she truly believed, and now that Nebula wants to go after their father herself?

That scares her.

But she shakes her head, still holding gently onto his wrist. ]

Don't apologize. I do not know what else there is to say about my sister.

[ Especially because she just plain doesn't know what to do about Nebula; surely there's nothing she can while they're here. ]

If— [ He frowns at that, because— part of him is still waffling on whether or not he wants to stay here. They have responsibilities back home, they have a family back home, but a part of Peter just wants to forget about all of that, at least for a little while.

Selfish, of course. But Peter's always been selfish. ]

... When. [ He makes the correction a little uncertainly. ] When we go back, I mean. Do you wanna go after her?

[ That "if" catches on his lips, and Gamora looks up at him, uncertain. The last time they discussed this, Peter had seemed to have no (or minimal) qualms about staying in the city, but—

"If I had to stay."

It had been so different from saying "when". It's the "when" that Gamora is preoccupied with.

She hesitates, because even though she's considered it, she doesn't have a solid answer. ]

I don't think it would be welcome. She's only going to come to me when she wants to, not because I try to force her to listen to reason.

[ She wants Nebula to stay with them, but she doubts her sister would be eager to do so. ]

[ He nods along with that. He doesn't know enough about Nebula to know for sure, but that, at least, sounds about right.

He gives her arm a gentle squeeze. ]

Maybe she might surprise you. Maybe she'll be the one to reach out, now that she knows she's got someone there, you know?

[ Gamora realizes that she's not optimistic, but— ]

I hope so.

[ She offers his wrist a small squeeze in return. ]

I should have discussed this with you before.

[ Especially considering she'd been asking Nebula to stay already without consulting Peter or the others, but... she'd turned her down anyway. ]

[ He shakes his head. ]

I never asked.

[ And he says it apologetically. He should have asked. It's his job, isn't it? The captain should always know what's going on with his team.

(He'll never know how Yondu did it.

But then again, considering how relatively easy it had been for Peter to snatch a job right out from under Yondu's nose, maybe Yondu never got the hang of it, either.) ]

If you want her with us, she's welcome.

... You might get some pushback from Rocket, though.

[ There's reassurance in Gamora's eyes, forgiveness and a promise that she isn't upset by the fact that Peter hadn't asked.

(She hadn't been in a rush to revisit it, after all.) ]

Rocket can get over it.

[ Because if Nebula wants to stay, Gamora will make sure she has a place.

Even if that means mediating or directly breaking up a fight or two. ]

... Are you all right?

[ This question is somewhat more tentative; she knows how much he'd rather shove all that they've discussed back into the dark, but they've dragged it to the surface now, put it out in the open. She wants to make sure he doesn't need something in the wake of it, that she isn't neglecting his well-being. ]

[ Peter huffs out a laugh at that. ]

So long as you're playing mediator, not me.

[ ... which is a lie. Peter will surely stick his neck into more than a few arguments if need be. It's his job.

As for her question, he lifts a shoulder in a shrug, letting a hand drop from her arm. ]

I'm fine.

[ The automatic answer. ]

I'm... dealing.

[ which is to say, he's ignoring it. Today was a setback in his attempt at Denial, but he can get back on track, he figures. ]

Are you?

[ Because she knows there's a distinct different between dealing with something and pretending it isn't there. The latter seems to make it all the more explosive when it does reemerge.

Processing and just waiting for it all to disappear isn't the same thing.

She doesn't drop her hand from his wrist, maintaining that contact and watching his face. ]

[ Oh, crap. It's really hard to avoid her gaze when she's watching him like that, but he tries anyway, gaze darting off to a cluster of flowers nearby – some strange plant with delicate, translucent purple petals. ]

Yeah. I'm— figuring it out.

[ He licks his lips, hesitating, then, ]

Sorry I snapped at you earlier.

[ The avoidance doesn't exactly lend any kind of reassurance, and the way he can't quite make himself look up only seems to reinforce that he isn't okay. ]

It's all right. I'm not angry.

[ She hadn't even truly been angry then, either. She'd been purposefully prodding at open wounds, and she'd expected him to lash out.

It was different from their fight on Ego – less personal, on her end. She was able to brush it off, to focus on Peter. ]

You know you are allowed to not be fine, Peter.

[ He lets out a dismissive sound – a puff of air between his teeth. ]

I know that.

[ He's pretty sure he might have given that advice to someone in the past, but rarely does he ever practice what he preaches. ]

But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm fine. Or I will be.

I have a lot of shit to process, is all.

video; @star.lord

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