riverview | text | un: anonymous

I would only try to reconnect with them after making sure they're aware that I knew them before and how. Otherwise I'm just being selfish.

At least that's been my experience.

Edited 2017-08-09 05:20 (UTC)

Why not go, 'Hey, we used to date. I know you don't remember. Want to try it out with me because otherwise I'm going to be awkward and sad?'

Point is. I don't think it matters. You have the chance to make new memories here.

:p

I've had my memory messed but the other person remembered it. We remember different versions of reality.

I also know someone that is going through something like what you described.

[ this strikes a chord. he remembers the day percy jackson showed up at camp jupiter without a memory except for his name. it had been a shock for nico, especially when the older boy almost remembered him. it had also been a bit heartbreaking because he'd been searching for percy, not just for annabeth, percy's girlfriend, but also because he'd been so in love with percy at the time. to have all the memories of what they'd been through together wiped away and stung, but it had been his duty to not mess with fate. ]

it depends.
what would you gain from building a connection?
are they meant to remember or love you back?
are they happy with their lives now
and what's the chance you might ruin that happiness?
basically, you have to think about how it would affect them.

I think they deserve to know.

[This happened all the time in places like Purg, and although Ed had tried not to let people know they were even friends in the past here, there it was different. It was only honest to give a person the heads up that their experiences were not the same as the other versions that had been there before them.

He'd told Lockon and Lyle that he knew them both even though they would have no memory of him. If Taiga showed up here wouldn't he try to befriend her, too?]

Can't hurt to give it a shot, as long as you're honest about where you're coming from.

But I'm a hopeless romantic.

[ he sees you there, bro. ]

It would depend entirely upon her, I think. Whether she wishes to try again or not.

Although, in my case, we've been betrothed since I was born, we would be expected to marry regardless.

For a while, I forgot a lot of things, especially about me and my brother. People told me about the things we did together, but I had no memory of it at all. It was terrible because I wanted to know, even if it hurt.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if they forgot, they deserve to know the truth, even if it's painful.

 Start at step one and don't fucking push your own views on the other person when they don't have the same experiences you do.

It'd be like meeting someone's twin and expecting them to be exactly the same, it's selfish.

If you really give a damn about them, you'll build it again.

Tell them.

( He didn't deal with this situation with someone he was in love with, all things considered. But he did go through it with Richard. So the question definitely hits close to home. )

While I agree they should be told, it's a lot to put on someone.

[ The weight of the expectations and pressure that it brings would probably bury him if the situation was reversed. Of course, Linda has always been the stronger one between them. ]

But the chance to make new memories is actually part of the problem. I'm here and she's not.

[ The other side to all this is he's had people tell him he needs to let go of the past that isn't wholly his and concentrate on moving forward. But whatever future he has in this place most likely won't include her and that makes him feel guilty. ]

You could say my memories of this person come from a different reality from the one we live in back home.

[ The truth is the memories are from the same reality prior to the time-line getting manipulated. Being stuck outside of time had allowed him to see all that he had lost. ]

How is your friend handling it?

[ Those are the same questions Wally has been asking himself for the last few months.

Knowing his life with Linda and their love has been stolen from them back home due to time being manipulated makes it difficult to simply give it up, but a part of him can't help but feel he's being unfair to her by trying to have some semblance of a connection with her.

Being stuck here without her has added another layer to the situation. ]

I've been trying to do that. I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

[ The funny thing is this is actually something Wally had been wrestling with back home. Right now he's reexamining the choices he made during that time and trying to figure out what it means, if anything, for his future here in this place. ]

But then what? Do you think it's possible to have an actual relationship with them after that even if they're open to the idea?

[ He knows it's not a question someone can answer with any sort of certainty because every person and relationship is different. But, he could use the opinion from someone who doesn't know him or Linda or how happy the two of them were together. Is the mismatched memories really a hurdle two people could get over? ]

But the person seems exactly the same except they don't remember certain things from your reality?

[Why does that thought make Alec extremely uncomfortable?]

For awhile we accepted it. Magic was involved. We couldn't interfere unless certain conditions were met.

Once they were, she started trying to get him back. It's rough but she was honest with him. They were both trying to work it out.

[ Wally drops all pretenses of anonymity when it comes to Dick and switches over to the private setting. It was their conversation during their outing outside the wall that has had him contemplating his situation with Linda and how it relates to his life here a lot lately in the first place. ]

I figured you'd say that. [ a beat ] Though what if "hopeless" is the key word there?

It's definitely her call. But is it even fair to put her in that position?

[ What if he is intruding on her life and she's just too nice to tell him she isn't interested? ]

[ It might be simpler if she just forgot because those experiences would still be a part of her in some way. Instead, it's a complicated situation where time was manipulated and history was rewritten. Wally is one of the very few who actually remembers part of his life before history was altered. ]

I've actually already told her. But sometimes it feels like just hanging out is asking too much of her.

But is that even possible? I'd never try to force or manipulate her, but those experiences are still part of me.

[ Is it possible to separate things like that? How could he ever be sure those experiences and memories aren't influencing him? ]

I imagine she might be more upset by that choice being taken away from her. It would be more unfair to do that.

[Most people, if they really don't want anything to do with someone, will express in one way or another. ~~That's why his butler always goes for Grell's face.~~]

That would be up to both of you.

I've been away from home for five years now, in that time plenty of people have come and gone back to their own home worlds. It's not the same, but I met friends here that I knew who have never met me.

I told them about it. Because they deserve to know that even if I'm a stranger to them,
one of them was my best friend for several years.

The relationship isn't nearly the same as it was before, everyone is different. Things are going to be different, but as long as you don't expect it to be the same when you go into it there's no reason it might not happen in another way.

If you're lucky, a better way.

[Meeting Rhode in Attollo after knowing her in Purg was not exactly how he would have liked that to go down, but... Lyle was a pleasant surprise from the man he knew before. It was strange to think that over time he might actually become better friends with him than he even was with his brother before.]

The only thing you can do is be honest and go into it without expectations.

[ Wally isn't sure how much Damian can help in this particular situation, but he isn't in any position to turn down advice on the matter. ]

But doesn't doing that put expectations on the other person even if that's not the intent?

That's easy. Same thing as with any relationship. Don't date until you find someone you like more.

It is. Do you think they can handle it? Handle you?

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