video » @LOKIOFASGARD

[ikols]

[ The recording shows Loki in a tall-backed chair, a faint green glow off-screen drawing his gaze now and then in the shadowy surroundings. Chinning a hand, he appears uncharacteristically sober, the way only a handful of people have witnessed, and his lips have lost their usual mischievous quirk.

Sighing as though this is a chore, he begins. His voice remains carefully level. ]

Tony Stark of Earth-616 has returned through the portal. I had his movements tracked via rune-magic in case he fell into a different dimension or was kidnapped into Hel-knows-where, that sort of thing tends to happen back home more often than not. But it seems, from what I can confirm from tracing his last steps, that they led him ... away from us.

[ His gaze falls to the mysterious glow, watching it from under hooded lashes instead of paying viewers any mind. ]

If anyone wants to claim his workshop in the perimeter guard headquarters, it's full of his last projects. Unfinished. I suggest our other-verse Starks take precedence over commandeering his mess to make use of it or throw it away.

[ Turning the phone around, the illumination reveals itself to be a ghostly green Tony going about his work on the other side of the desk, a conjured echo as the reality-bending god looks on with everyone else. Why Loki summoned it is unexplained, but he raises two fingers to brush aside the phantom with a gesture and it dissolves in an unearthly silent breeze. The workshop's lights remain off; Loki doesn't need them to see and he would rather hide his face. ]

I doubt he would mind, either way.

Comments

[ikols]

[ In the main chair behind Anthony's best-used desk, he sits with his knees up and forehead hidden against them. The intrusion of his twin doesn't go unnoticed, but neither does Loki react. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Pausing briefly, Loki weighs himself before reaching out to squeeze his other self's shoulder silently. ]

[ikols]

[ In the silence of the abandoned workshop his mutter carries, dejected and small. ]

Why am I always alone?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Because we are not fit company, Loki thinks to himself. We're monsters, pretending to be otherwise. And we will never be able to cast off that skin. We'll never be more than what they made us to be. ]

There is no "why". Sometimes it simply is and the universe offers no reply.

[ikols]

That's a horrid answer.

[ Quiet anger isn't directed at his twin, just the sentiment that Fate provides.

Sighing, he chokes out a soft sound. ]

He called me Starshine. It was such a lovely name he thought up, he insisted it fit. So foolish.

[dothelokimotion]

[ He does not blanch at the anger. It is better that it is expressed and Loki can handle anger. It is very easy to shoulder pain. Loki had said as much to Steve, long ago. He murmurs softly, threading his fingers in Loki's hair. ]

It is not so bad to be foolish.

[ikols]

[ A shudder runs through him at the touch to his hair and a sob is stifled against his knees, pushing his mouth against his jeans, face hot for once and wetter than he could have imagined possible when ice is usually his forte. ]

It fuh-feels like my ribs have been cleaved in two and I can't buh-breathe.

[dothelokimotion]

It will pass. Let it out.

[ Of course, the passing of it will be worse. A dull ache where a firestorm should be. But Loki, the hoarder of grudges and resentments, can feel the passing of time. It wears away all things, even Gods. And Gods feel it far worse than mortals. ]

[ikols]

No. [ He turns his head, cheek pillowed on his knees not to look at his twin standing nearby but to do more than hide. ] These memories are all I have, I won't share them with anyone. With any world. It's no one's pain but mine, they can't have it.

[dothelokimotion]

It is not in our nature to share.

[ That much doesn't surprise Loki. He certainly wasn't expecting any kind of heartfelt sharing. Certainly there are plenty of events even Loki will not share with anyone. It cuts too deep to open up those wounds. ]

But you will still move onward.

[ikols]

[ Bundled up in Tony's chair, it doesn't feel like any part of Loki is moving anywhere fast. ]

He made me happy.

[dothelokimotion]

[ His fingers still briefly. That's not something they confess easily. Or something they have ever been willing to admit. It turns to fear and desperation too quickly, too dangerously. With a soft exhale, he continues the movements, the way his mother would. He wonders if she too was ever moved to fear and worry this way. He'd never know now. There were so many lies and truths between them. And Loki has lost his chance. ]

I know.

[ikols]

[ He doubts his twin knows, not really. Still ... ]

Some time ago, Doom said Anthony fell into a coma then died. Back home. [ All Loki can think about is, ] He left to die.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Okay, he snorts lightly at that. ]

I do no doubt Victor's recollection, but if there is one thing I know about Stark is that he is a cockroach and no force would kill him so easily, much less a coma. It is not suitably dramatic for him.

[ikols]

[ Running a hand over his hair brushes away the consoling touch. ]

I can't go home and I have to rely on Victor von Doom for news, this is what it's come to. [ His voice wavers. ] And Anthony liked you, so don't be a dick.

[dothelokimotion]

[ There's a flutter of uncertainty at that, but Loki calms the urge to wince. ]

My point stands. Even with what Victor remembers, it is still limited. Open to change. And we, of all people, know how difficult it is to stay dead. Unless Stark says so with utmost clarity, I see no reason to accept it.

Do not limit yourself with fear.

[ikols]

Can I at least grieve before you tell me to be more Loki about it? I'll do what I want.

[ Even if that means being a lonely crybaby for a while. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ There's a telling silence before he responds. ]

Of course.