LFM [@R.Greenhilt: Video]

[greatcleavage]

Good afternoon. My name is Roy Greenhilt.

[Seven words -- no, no, he doesn't have to keep himself to the word limit of a Sending spell with this strange device, even though he's given to understand its transmission functions are most analogous to that spell.]

[Don't mind that brief pause. He's just going to be here acting like he knows what he's doing.]

As many of you are no doubt aware, there are numerous exploratory missions set out to benefit the quarantine and ensure the survival of its people. I am seeking others who would be willing to join a party dedicated to routinely undertaking these missions, as well as various other freelance opportunities that may present themselves. I'm an experienced adventurer and party leader, so I'd like to put those skills to use here for the betterment of the quarantine.

I generally prefer in-person interviews but I recognize we're all a bit busy adjusting to our new circumstances, particularly after the storms that just rolled through and a recent concern about attacks on the quarantine, so I'm willing to be flexible. My own duties aren't to be put aside on a whim either! [Roy offers a grin to the camera which is a little stale, the joke lame enough that it proves he's not quite comfortable with this whole thing.]

Please get in touch with me at your earliest convenience if you're interested in joining.

Comments

hope it's not too late to hop on this: I LOVE OOTS!!

[toolatetochangethename]

[Interview? Goddammit. This is gonna be Baskin Robbins all over again, isn't it?]

Right. I'm Scott. Felon.

[Got that out of the way. He's ready for your judginess! ]

[greatcleavage]

Legitimate authority? [That's his first question. Roy might be Lawful, but that doesn't require acknowledging laws and authorities that simply should not have power.]

[toolatetochangethename]

Yeah, I guess.

I mean, it's not like they were on VistaCorp's payroll.

[OR WERE THEY!?! Nah. ]

I can also shrink really small. [Because, hey, nothing like a weird first impression.]

[greatcleavage]

[The shrinking part isn't too weird. Reduce is a spell, after all.]

Well, I'd appreciate more of the story behind all of this, I have to say.

[toolatetochangethename]

Okay, sure. Former employer was ripping people off. I just, you know, unripped them off.

With extreme prejudice.

[The kind of prejudice that ended up with sports cars in swimming pools.]

[greatcleavage]

Oh, okay. No, you don't need to worry, I have experience working with Chaotic Good people and I have found them to be highly valuable team members. That's not a disqualifier.

[He's not going to ask about Thieves' Guild membership, though. Having already gone through that plotline quite laboriously, he isn't expecting a repeat.]

[toolatetochangethename]

You sure? Because Baskin Robbins, man, they were not cool with it.

[Mango fruit blast be damned.]

[greatcleavage]

...but 'robbing' is practically in the name. It sounds like an adventuring party for lizardfolk who sunbathe between heists.

[toolatetochangethename]

Well, now I'll never be able to imagine the CEOs as anything else.

[So, thanks for that?]

They sell ice cream and shit.

Uh. Mostly ice cream.

[greatcleavage]

Oh, it's a conglomerate named after its founders, then? [That's the new impression, though he's starting to worry this is going to become a game of 20 Questions.]

[toolatetochangethename]

Look, I don't know. I don't research their entire stock history. I was just trying to get a job.

[If he had researched them, though, maybe he would have known that Baskin Robbins always finds out!]

I didn't steal from them, though, if that's what you're asking. I've gone straight. [Just don't ask him how he got the suit.]

[greatcleavage]

No, no, it's just an unusual name is all. [A very evocative one, the problem being that it apparently evokes all the wrong images.]

So to sum up thus far, thieving skills and ability to cast Reduce Person on self -- what else do you bring to a team?

[toolatetochangethename]

No, yeah, I get that. [He does now, at any rate.]

Cast Reduce...what now?

[This guy was weird. But, team stuff? ] .

Well, I mean, obviously my rapier wit.

[greatcleavage]

The shrinking thing. [Maybe it has some flavorful prestige-class name or something for him.] Weapon skills?

[toolatetochangethename]

Oh that? That's the suit. You know, shrinking the spaces between molecules.

[Do not let Scott nerd out about science. It will be bad for all involved.]

I can punch pretty hard?

[greatcleavage]

Ah, so it's an item-based power. [Roy understands this. (Roy doesn't understand this, but not for lack of trying.)] How hard is 'pretty hard'?

[toolatetochangethename]

Yeah. Sure.

[What is with this guy and this weird terminology? But whatever. He was at least, you know, not freaked out by the very idea.

UNLIKE Luis.]

Hard enough to probably kill a guy. I mean, if I tried.

....

...I haven't really tried. [Before you ask.]

[greatcleavage]

That's the sort of thing that can change quickly in an adventuring lifestyle, I warn you. I definitely favor peaceful resolution whenever possible -- and around here, it definitely seems like the main threat to the city is monsters rather than other people, but. [Sometimes you end up killing. A lot of killing, if an entire army is up against you, for example.]

[toolatetochangethename]

'Adventuring lifestyle'? [Don't laugh, Scott. Don't laugh. Okay, don't laugh TOO obviously.]

Look, I only punch people who really deserve it. I'm not like the Hulk or anything.

[greatcleavage]

Yes, that's my point. It's easy to encounter people who deserve it. [Even by Roy's standards of decency and respect to others.] Though externally here we seem to have primarily monsters to deal with.

[toolatetochangethename]

Actually, it'd be kind of a relief to punch the snot out of some monsters.

[Last fight, against half of the Avengers? Yeah, taking 'antihero' to a new length.]

[greatcleavage]

[Someday Roy will hear that story, and he will be astounded.]

I understand that feeling pretty well, honestly.

[toolatetochangethename]

[Some day Scott will TELL that story and it will be glorious. Except the part about Black Widow kicking his ass.]

Yeah, so when can we get started?

[If we are a 'we' in that 'adventuring lifestyle' sense.] [ ]

[greatcleavage]

Easy: as soon as we have the opportunity to do so.

[Long and the short of it. Roy isn't one to sit around waiting.]

[toolatetochangethename]

Awesome.

[Part of a team, again. Scott isn't one of those solo vigilante types, anyway.]

Do we have some kind of base or something? [Because what team doesn't?]