riverview | Video; thunderer [Thor 3 Spoilers]

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Video; thunderer [Thor 3 Spoilers]

[You can tell from the moment Thor's face appears on camera, he's been through hell and back. His hair is almost entirely buzzed down, save for the tufts on top, with markings shaved into the sides. His eye is covered by a black patch, indicating an injury that he isn't happy to talk about.]

I've made some changes. [Bluntly, as if he consented to any of this.]

What else.. Some things have happened at home that may be of interest to some of you. [He hums, considering.] Odin is dead. I have another sister? Her name is Hela. Mjolnir is destroyed. Banner is alive. [He feels a little guilty revealing that one, but he thinks someone deserves to know.] I fought the Hulk. I won. I met a real, live Valkyrie- And Asgard is.. [A people, not a place, but..] The realm has been destroyed. My people are seeking refuge, I suppose I understand now what displacement feels like.

I have the remains of Asgard in a ship, floating through space. If a portal could open for them, that would be extremely useful to me right now. I'm a king with no land or people, now. Very poetic. [Does he seem terse? He's kind of tense.

And then Loki comes barging in, looking very much the same and carrying a large parchment. He glances at the recording with a frown. He places the map of Earth on the wall, pinning it with a single dagger.]

Must you reveal everything? Put that away, I have work for you.

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Why are you saying that? I don't understand.

[ What is happening? Had Loki said something wrong? Was the ring a mistake? His voice goes an octave higher despite himself. ]

It sounds like you're stepping away.

I-

[ Steve hesitates, because he is stepping back, but it's not really away. Not as far as he sees it. It's not as if he's planning on leaving Loki, so he doesn't want to agree with him, but he feels an awkward sense of intrusion, the way he felt after Bucky and Tony both reacted by retreating from him. ]

If it bothers you, I don't want to make things worse. I know it's hard. And maybe there's not much I can do. I don't really like to think that. I've always been able to do something.

Talking about it seems like it's upsetting you.

[ It takes him a few minutes to fully parse that. Neither of them were talking to the other properly, in the way they were used to. And to be fair, they rarely communicate over the network anymore. And things have changed dramatically, ring or not. Loki is again, glad that he locked this feed. He doesn't want Thor hearing this. ]

You are not making it worse. I know Thor would appreciate your help, more than he would say. I am . . . I don't know, Steve.

[ He doesn't know if he's upset or not. Many weights have been lifted from his chest and it's exhilarating and terrifying all in one solid blow. ]

I don't have the answers and neither does Thor and right now, Thor needs someone who can give answers.

I would do whatever you asked. You know that.

[ If he could, he would follow Loki to help rescue his fellow Asgardians, if only to be able to protect him. He wants to provide comfort, even if that is something that isn't really possible at the moment. There are no ready words of solace for losing your home. He knows that, but he keeps pulling at the limits of possibility, trying to give more to them. ]

I didn't mean to upset you. I wish I did have answers. I know what we would do at home.

[ He feels like it would be easier to take them all with him. He goes quiet, looking down at his hand. ]

I think going to Earth is a good idea.

[ Loki doesn't want to go to Earth, he wants to go home, but he manages to bite back that response because it's childish and silly and all the things that made Asgard home was gone a long time ago. Hela had nothing to do with that. He blinks away the wet sheen behind his eyes. ]

Earth it is then.

Are you all right?

[ The question is soft. Because even if Loki doesn't say it out loud, Steve can tell he's a wreck. ]

Ah, Steve.

[ He smiles faintly. ]

I'm always all right in the end.

In the end, but are you all right now?

[ He knows the answer is not really, but Steve wants to be able to talk to Loki about the things they have to face. It's an area they both tend to avoid, but Steve is trying to get better about that. Of course, it's easier to ask about Loki than talk about himself. ]

[ There's a lengthy pause as Loki struggles. There is a lot he can't put into words, things he is actively avoiding in order to make sure Thor is all right. ]

I don't — I don't know, Steve.

[ He's not okay. Steve thinks he can see the strain in Loki's posture even though the god is speaking to him through the network. He is probably just assuming, but at the same time, he can't shake the image of tension. And then Loki stumbles and Steve is convinced. ]

It's all right if you aren't okay.

[ There are limits to what he'll say on the network, private or not. ]

Would it not be worse if I was? If, after all that has taken place, if I was okay . . . would that not say volumes of me?

It's a shock, Loki. It's a lot to process. No one's saying you have to feel anything you don't feel.

[ He's probably not the best person to talk someone through trauma, but Steve does mean well. And he has picked up at least some from other, more reasonable Avengers to want to offer this much. ]

I — Yes, that is probably it.

[ A quiet tease in his voice. ]

Perhaps I'll come by later once I finish my work with Thor. If I can get him to concentrate longer than five minutes.

Take your time.

[ He gives Loki a nod and smile. ]

I'll be waiting for you.

[ Loki nods, closing the connection. After a few hours, Loki quietly slips into Steve's apartment. ]

Steve?

[ When Loki comes in, Steve has hot chocolate heating on the stove. He pours some into a mug and goes to meet Loki, handing it over. ]

Here.

[ He blinks, his hands automatically going for the drink. ]

Were you preparing this for me?

Yes.

[ He presses the mug into Loki's hands and then pats his wrist. ]

You want to sit down?

[ Loki tries to say no, it's fine, he's coping but nothing comes out. Instead, he nods, his gaze dropping to the floor. ]

Come on. You don't have to hold back with me.

[ He pulls Loki closer and leads him over to the couch, sitting him down with his mug and sitting next to him as he gives him time to breathe again. ]

I am not trying to.

[ But it seems at this point, Loki's words are failing him. Steve had called it a shock and perhaps that was the best word for it. Because deep down, Loki didn't feel as much as Thor did. Even during his stint as king, Loki tolerated them. Entertained them. Enjoyed the way they danced to his whims like sheep. But they would have forgotten him. Like Hela.

His fingers rub against the ceramic, the heat weaving itself into his skin. ]

I'm not — [ His hands are shaking and he sets the mug abruptly. ]

Shh.

[ Steve takes the mug from him, moving it away so it doesn't get knocked to the floor. He puts a steadying hand on Loki's back. ]

Easy. You don't have to say anything. I'm still here.

[ He nods, faintly numb to the core as he rests his head on Steve's shoulder, trying not to burrow himself deep. ]

Perhaps there is something wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with you.

[ He doesn't have to know what spurred that thought. Steve lets Loki lean on him, putting one arm around his back to keep him steady. ]

You're still okay. Trust me. You don't need to have all the answers.

[ Loki doesn't say anything to that, curling himself around Steve. He wonders what he should say. What he could say without driving people away. I essentially killed my father seems like a deal breaker. He misses Asgard, but it does not leave the ache Thor feels. Granted, Thor is now king and bears the weight of Asgard's destruction.

What is Loki now? ]

I am the worst thing to happen to my family.

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