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informal poll for you guys. if you had to choose, is this place more like:

a) fantasia, from the neverending story
b) oz, from the wizard of oz
c) wherever the hell it was with the muppets and stuff, from labyrinth
d) wonderland, from alice in wonderland

[ The question might seem like a frivolous one, but the answers should actually be pretty informative, and it's way more fun than just asking people to describe what this place is really like. ]

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All of those are gonna go over a lot of people's heads. We're not all from Earth, my dude.

[ Cisco may or may not mutter something to himself about darmok and jalad nonsense up in here before he responds: ]

yep, still getting used to that.

but i gotta work with the pop culture references i've got, you know what i mean?

how'd you guess i was from earth if you're not?

You could've just asked the question you really wanna ask.

[He has a high wisdom and intelligence modifier, good for those insight checks.]

Someone introduced me to two of those movies, he's from Earth. Wasn't that much of a stab in the dark to guess that's where you're from, too.

[A little bit of a white lie; Clark was on Earth, technically, but he's not exactly "from" it.]

where's the fun in that?

i wasn't using movie metaphors to be sneaky, dude. that's just how i roll.

i guess that makes sense. which two?

Except now you gotta waste your time explaining a bunch of movies to us idiots.

Oz and Labyrinth. Don't think this place is really like either, which is a damn shame cause I would happily give a baby to David Bowie if he asked.

yeah in hindsight i'm realizing there may have been some flaws in my plan...

how would you describe it, then?

Well, could've been worse. Pretty sure if I asked about shit from home not a single fucking person would know. There's plenty of you humans.

[Earth humans, specifically, but still.]

I mean, this place is pretty nice? The world's not ending, always a big fan of that.

wait. and you're... not... human?

is the world ending where you're from?

[ Cisco is really trying to keep his cool here but there's no way he's going to pass up the opportunity to ask a few slightly prying questions... ]

Nope: elf.

Maybe: there's this black goop/oil taking over planes of existence, it suuuucks

you're an elf? for real?

[ It's probably good this is over text; the skepticism is strong in this one. Metas with powers are a normal part of his reality.
The idea of a multiverse, sure, he's read scientific theories and it checks out. Aliens, maybe, though there's no proof for them. But elves? That's some straight-up Tolkien nonsense and he's not about to get pranked on his first day here. ]

yikes.
why would it want to do that?
also, like, how?

For realsies

[Attached is one (1) selfie, his head angled so his ears are very visible.]

If I knew the how and why I'd be way better off than I am.

This woman saw it, I guess? And it made her crazy, but she called it a living hunger.

[ Boy that sure was a moment of internal screaming, when he got that picture. It's possible it's a cosplay, possible it's a photo edit - but then the guy had gotten that picture to him VERY quickly. Unless he had one on hand for situations like this, catfishing nerds into thinking elves are real, then maybe, just maybe... ]

dude. do they have humans where you're from, or just elves? wait, do you call yourselves elves? and is it elves or elfs?

[ He has a million questions. Seriously - an actual million. ]

well that's terrifying.

[He doesn't even know what a photoshop is.]

We've got humans, dwarves, halflings, dragonborn, orcs, et cetera. Earth seems weird to me, my man, with only one race.

(And elves is fine, I'm not particular).

[He's also okay with questions; everyone seems to have them.]

Little bit! The gods might be dead, too? It's fucking wild.

[He's very chill about this]

dude.
dude.

i mean, technically the earth i come from has humans and metahumans, but i don't think you can call metahumans a separate race, really. they're just kind of... human plus.

[ Not gonna use a 'we' there, no sir, sticking to a much safer 'they'. ]

if shit like that's going down in your world coming here must be like a vacation, right?

You're from one of those Earths, huh?

[He's run into a couple of people who use the term metahuman or similar, and he's just plain met humans who can do weird shit that most humans can't do. And then there's Clark, who's a whole different story.]

It's pretty awesome, for sure. I absolutely love not dying.

yep. sounds like there are some other folks who are, too.
i'm not gonna lie i'm doing my best not to freak out over here.
elves don't exist where i'm from so it's totally dope to actually talk to one.
i hope that's not a weird thing to say. is that a weird thing to say?

oh yeah. definitely preferable to dying.

[ Not that he's speaking from experience or anything. Except he absolutely is. ]

I mean, it's cool. This isn't all that different from meeting a fan and I always dig that so, yeah, we're good, my dude.

Glad that's a universal thing, not wanting to die. I'd be kinda worried if it wasn't.

[It's okay he's also speaking from experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ a dozen times was enough.]

you have fans?

[ It's taking him a moment to process that this person is an elf from a fantasy land who is using vernacular that Cisco would never have found in the nerdy books of his youth. Must be part of the translation process. ]

of course from what i've heard this place isn't totally safe, either.

Of course I have fans, I didn't become a famous TV chef to not have fans.

[It isn't a translation thing, sorry Cisco]

Cause of the monsters and shit? They're really not that bad

you're... a famous tv chef?

[ Okay... Cisco's brain is just going to need a minute to reconcile the coexistence of elves and celebrity chefs. And elves who are celebrity chefs. The whole thing sounds like a joke and if he hadn't seen that selfie earlier he would definitely think he was being punked. He still half-thinks he is. ]

see, i want to believe you,
but i'm thinking our definitions of 'not that bad' might be a lil different.

Something tells me this might be the sorta chat at least one of us is going to need a drink for.

[He hasn't met any nerds yet, so people's preconceptions of elves are usually pretty lacking, but he gets the feeling that isn't the case here.]

.....you're right.
count me in.

Since you're new, I'll let you get your ass settled in while I find a place cool enough to handle the "elf wizard chef" talk.

WIZARD?!

[ What. Just... WHAT. ]

okay okay, i'll save the millions of questions i now have for the official talk.

i'll shoot you a text when my ass is sufficiently settled.

;)

Good luck, my dude

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