( VIDEO & TEXT. 001 ) — un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ The feed reveals one apathetic looking guy. His hair is particularly eye catching, though, being a white color and wavy. He seems to be checking in from home, and by the looks of his attire, it looks like he's in traditional Japanese attire. The guy looks well built and fit, but what seems to be a giant bowl of ice cream is before him on his table with a mound of strawberries on top of it. It looks like he's in the middle of breakfast. Would you call this breakfast? It is for him.. because nobody is here to stop him. He raises one hand as a greeting, though he's sluggish in movement. Get it together, Gin-san! You're basically in the middle of an interview! It's really hard to do this because he usually has two subordinates that introduce themselves with him. Needless to say, his introduction has less vigor.. probably because he's on his own again. ]}

Yo. Sakata Gintoki is my name. It's been awhile since I've showed up here. Aaa, they gave me a job when I first got here, but that didn't work out. Tch, it's a shame, really. What do they expect from me when there's no motivation? I ain't Ch*hiro on a quest to save my pig-turned parents, oi!
_{[ He pauses to take a good bite of the ice cream, a smile finally appearing on his face solely because it tastes so sweet and good. He twirls the spoon idly in his hand as he continues. ]}

Guess that means I have to work for you all now. If you need anything done, no matter what it is, for the right payment, I can do it for you. Here's a list of some of my skills.

CARE TAKER, PROFESSIONAL STAND-IN-LINER, MALE HOST/ESCORT, CHAUFFEUR,
JONIN LEADER, PET FINDER, CHEF, BODY GUARD, BOUNCER, BABY SITTER, POOP SCOOPER, SPIRIT DETECTIVE,DEFENSE ATTORNEY, POLICE OFFICER, ORDINARY PLUMBER, HAIR STYLIST, CONDUCTOR, BIRTHDAY PARTY ORGANIZER, BUS BOY, MAIL MAN, PROFESSIONAL SLEEPER, OKAMA ENTERTAINER, PEST CONTROL, FLOWER ARRANGER, HOT DOG VENDOR, TOILET PAPER REFILLER, SWORDSMAN, TURTLE SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR,
VIDEO GAME TESTER, MANGA ARTIST, DOG SITTING, LIVE MANNEQUIN, ERRAND BOY, STAGE HAND, SPEECH PREPARATION, PIRATE KING, OFFICIAL SANTA CLAUS, ICE CREAM SCIENTIST, MATCH-MAKER, WEDDING GUEST FOR YOUR WEDDING, PET FOOD TESTER, PROFESSIONAL "BEST MAN", BED WARMER,
GARBAGE REMOVER, PAPER TOWEL SNIFFER, CAKE DECORATOR, FIREFIGHTER, TASTE TESTER, STUNTMAN,
DETECTIVE, PERSONAL FASHION CONSULTANT, BLACKSMITH, BOUNTY HUNTER, BODY PAINTER,
WEDDING OFFICIANT, MUSICIAN, FRIDGE CLEANER, PHOTOGRAPHER, REPO MAN, METEOROLOGIST,
HOUSE CLEANING, GOLF BALL DIVER, LAWN MOWER, HANDYMAN, GUM BUSTER, FUNERAL MOURNER,
POLLEN COLLECTOR, BINGO MANAGER, VOICE OVER ARTIST, GYM INSTRUCTOR, NEW YEARS CARD WRITER,
LIFE GUARD, IDOL MANAGER, RAPPER, THERAPIST, BEETLE HUNTER, HISTORY TEACHER, BARTENDER, ETC, ETC, ETC...

Comments

voice; thunderer

[worldsaway]

It's interesting that I understand most of these words on their own, but when you put them all together I have no idea what you're talking about.

What exactly is the difference between an ordinary plumber and an extraordinary plumber?

voice » un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ How does somebody not get this reference? Gah, he hates having to explain his jokes! He has a feeling he'll have to do this a lot with this guy. ]}

An extraordinary plumber deals with the worst poops imaginable.
An ordinary plumber rescues Princess P**ch from the castle.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.. it should be the other way around, right? There's some pretty bad poops out there— it's a dirty job.

[worldsaway]

Right. [Thor says, as if he understands, in a voice that says I don't understand.]

I think you'll have a hard time finding princesses to rescue, so maybe you should be an extraordinary plumber instead.

[naturallywavy]

Yeah? This place seems like it wouldn't have many princesses, but who knows. Sometimes she's simply just in another castle.. and nobody is looking hard enough!
_{[ He gets that Thor has no idea what he's talking about and that just makes it more amusing for him. ]}

Do you have any experience rescuing princesses?

[worldsaway]

I haven't even seen one castle, so maybe you're onto something there. [He's just trying to roll with this.]

I have plenty of experience rescuing princesses. And other things. It's why I'm in Search and Rescue.

[naturallywavy]

[ Trying to roll with anything is the best way to deal with Gintoki, tbh. It doesn't matter who you are, so it's not just Thor. ]

Search and rescue, huh?
That's not bad.. you'd make a great sidekick.
_{[ A SIDEKICK. Does he know who he is talking to? ]}

[worldsaway]

[Thor can't help himself, he scoffs.]

I'd say I'm more the hero than the sidekick, actually.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki knows he just said he works in search and rescue, but he can't help but make a quip: ]}

Yeah? What can you do?
Besides model for Ab*rcrombie & F*tch.

_{[ This is somehow both an insult and a compliment at once. ]}

[worldsaway]

Just because I look like a model, doesn't mean I am one. [Thor says, easily.]

I'm only, you know, the God of Thunder. King of Asgard. Protector of Earth. Just hobbies to an ordinary plumber like you, I suppose.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ almost instantly as he picks at his nose: ]}
I've never heard of you.

[worldsaway]

You know Mario the Plumber and not Thor the Avenger? [Thor chuckles, insincerely.] I don't believe you.

[naturallywavy]

Who the hell wouldn't know Mario the Plumber?
_{[ you see, Gintoki is a lot more interested in stuff like this. After all, his series does require a large amount of parodying.. usually other Japanese series. ]}

... ah, wait, I think I remember something once. An Avenger, huh? Where's your red, white and blue shield?
_{[ WRONG AVENGER. ]}

[worldsaway]

That's a low blow, even for you.

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ He's trying to hard not to smile. Really, he is! Now that Thor has mentioned being apart of the Avengers, he knows exactly who this is. Well, not exactly, but he knows he's certainly not Captain America.

Time to make it worse. ]</sub>

Wrong guy? Hey, are you certain you're not that trickster god either?
_{[ THOR JUST SAID WHO HE IS.... NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING A SHIT. ]}