riverview | Entries tagged with ✖ osomatsu-san: osomatsu matsuno

Hey everyone! I don't post on here super often, but I've been laid up for a week now and I'm going a little crazy. Total cabin fever.

I used to see forums like this on the internet back home, and I thought it might be kind of fun here too, so I thought I'd give it a try, because reading those forums was always a lot of fun.

So, Crowd-Sourced Relationship Advice!

I turned on anonymous posting on here, so you can make a fake username and submit a description of a problem that you're having in your relationships, either romantic or at work or whatever, and other anonymous people can give you advice!

Or you can stay logged in on your real account. Up to you!

bringbackgold

[ He sounds like he's... been thinking, and he has been. There's something on his mind. A few things on his mind, actually. But there's a particular thought that sticks out. He lifts up his hand, and rests his chin in his palm. He tries not to fidget with the ring on his finger, so he just focuses hard on the camera. ]

Curious question. I've been here a year, and I realize, after all this time, that I am missing some people I never thought I would miss. In most ways, this place feels like home, but it's the absence of them that makes it not.

[ He's talking a lot for him, and he realizes it. So he gets suddenly very quiet for a few moments, before speaking again. ]

Still, I wouldn't trade it - being here. I'm genuinely happy. I want to make the most of my time here, still. Continue learning while I'm here. Getting good at what I was never good at.

[ He fidgets with his ring, and sits upright. ]

So I guess I want to know... What unexpected things have come to you while you're here?

lykou

Hello. My name is Ryan. I found this image and wanted to share it.

(full size)
I would like to know what your name would be, and if it suits you. Mine does not, but I guess that's because my name is... already my name. Serious answers only please. I think this is a good opportunity to get to know some of you better, and maybe make some friends.

...speaking of which, it's my birthday, and if anyone would like to join me for some sweets, I'd appreciate the company.

Thank you.

holds_up_walls

[So Lyle clearly doesn't have enough to do with his life because tonight he decides to post. So it is focused on him at the moment, but there are some rather large, fairly nondescript boxes behind]

I don't know why I didn't think of this before really. I was trying to think of a way to keep one of my pets entertained since you know, that can be hard. Well, I think I have managed to entertain all of them at the same time. Honest opinions. Don't worry, I can take it.

[Now he turns the video towards what he's been working on. The video is now showing a rather large aquarium sitting in the corner of the room. Only there's no fish. There's a porg in the aquarium, swimming around almost oblivious before diving down like it was trying to find something. A dachshund and what looked like a basketball seemed to be watching it. There's also a staircase leading up the aquarium so the porg could get in and out]

I also have no idea what to do with the rest of these boxes. There's too many to not do something with.

[ooc: this is Lyle without nicotine and trying to find something to occupy himself. Also action available for anyone who would be at the Celestial Being house]

glitterpants

[ The feed clicks on and, well, to just cut straight to the chase, it shows two incredibly hot guys. No joke. We’re talking god levels of beauty here in your typical generic anime style, lounging by an indoor pool, their legs dipped into the water and towels around their necks. Was this Fr**! or something? It certainly seemed that way. The more you look at it, they looked like twins. Wait, wasn’t there like a set of.. twin.. triplet guys here who all looked the same? They were really average looking, though. Nothing like these buff, sexy new guys! The first one with red hair looks over at the feed: ]
Well, well. It’s nice to see all of you out there. I hope you’re enjoying your festival.

[the redhead winks, and there is the distinct sound of girls cooing in the background. Just where did these girls come from!? The other one with blue hair rakes his hand through his hair, leaning backwards as he also looks into the camera. ]
Heh, I know me and my dear brother here are enjoying the festival and we can only hope within our pure hearts that you are having an equally happy time. In fact, it is our sacred duty to ensure that everyone is having fun and being safe! [the redhead nods, turning his attention to his brother before looking at the camera again.]

That’s right, Karamatsu. [wait… that’s Karamatsu? Then, that must mean…] We will be in the entertainment district all week to give you our blessings. If you need us, for anything at all; missions, companionship, moral support, we’ll be happy to oblige.
[another wink. Someone stop him]

You’re right, Osomatsu-niisan. There are many wild things we can do to make your fantasies come true! Oh, did I mention we can destroy a meteor in the bat of a lash? Our powers are endless!

[Osomatsu laughs and rubs under his nose] See? We promise to do whatever it takes for you. So, don’t be shy, kittens. Come visit us, and make this flower festival an event to remember!
[ get another view of those wet, shirtless, sexy chests before the feed cuts out. ]
[ ooc; this is the result of a flower exchange where Karamatsu & Osomatsu are handsome versions of themselves! Feel free to be confused by their shenanigans and prepare for responses from both of us. ]

lockonstratos

[ When the camera comes on, anyone who knows Lyle will see a familiar face smiling back at them. Well, familiar except the eyepatch (and maybe he looks a little younger? It could just be the lighting). ]

Hi. I bet I got some of you thinking “what happened to Lyle” for a second there. Surprise, I’m his big brother. I don’t now how it’s done here, but by my estimate today is Lyle’s birthday! Consider this an invitation to celebrate with us. You don’t even have to be his friend. Come over and make a friend. No gifts required. Food will be provided.

[ Yes, he's making a finger gun at the camera before leaning in to cut the feed. What a nerd. ]

ichimyatsu

[The feed buzzes on to Ichimatsu looking boredly down with his hand resting on one fist, his other clearly setting the phone up to record. Despite how often he looks bored, this time he looks a little perturbed, as well, and he glances up at the phone after a while, shifting its view a moment later. It shows a large wooden chest, in the corner of a relatively nondescript room, and the inside of the chest is sectioned off into several segments, most of which are... filled with plants, be they dried or in seed form. He slowly moves the view across the entire chest, and then sets it back on a shelf, or a windowsill, where it can focus on him as he sets his cheek back against his fist.]

...so I've had this chest of plants for almost a fucking year now. I completely forgot about them, and all the labels are... burnt, it looks like. Somehow the plants are okay? They're weird space plants, they all do weird shit. I remember two of them, but not their names.

[A long silence, and he shifts to uncurl his hand and set his chin in his palm, instead.]

...guess I'm gonna be selling some weird space plant extracts once I figure out what they all do again. Anybody interested? Or, for that matter, anybody know anything about plants? Reaper, Karamatsu, you two remember these things?

[ooc; Ssssso these are plants Ichimatsu's had since he was in Eluvio. There was an event in that game where the ship visited a planet with seven districts based off the seven sins, and characters were allowed to harvest and keep flora from the districts. The moderation of that game has since locked the post with the actual names/effects of those plants, so I'll be working off memory for effects and making up new names, but the plants bear no actual resemblance to any other existing flora. Feel free to have any botany-smart people tell him as much! ...also hi I changed usernames.]

holds_up_walls

[Lyle is sitting on the floor of his communal floor, which lets face, he's currently the only resident of so its more like a private floor at the moment. There's probably the biggest grin people may have seen on his face in... ever here]

So I got the best surprise first thing in the morning. I've been wondering if I'd see him again and he's finally here.

[He glances over to the side]

Hey, come back over here. I know this is new.

[There's a pause and he's shifting his phone so he can still have it on him as he hefts a round orange robot into his lap, about the size of a basketball]

This is Haro. He helps with piloting my mobile suit back home. Say hello, Haro.

Haro! Haro!

[The "ear flaps" wave and the eyes flash]

Who? Who?

Who are we saying hello to? The people on the network. They can see us on the phone.

[And Haro rotates a bit under its own power as though its trying to look at the phone]

naturallywavy

_{[ The feed reveals one apathetic looking guy. His hair is particularly eye catching, though, being a white color and wavy. He seems to be checking in from home, and by the looks of his attire, it looks like he's in traditional Japanese attire. The guy looks well built and fit, but what seems to be a giant bowl of ice cream is before him on his table with a mound of strawberries on top of it. It looks like he's in the middle of breakfast. Would you call this breakfast? It is for him.. because nobody is here to stop him. He raises one hand as a greeting, though he's sluggish in movement. Get it together, Gin-san! You're basically in the middle of an interview! It's really hard to do this because he usually has two subordinates that introduce themselves with him. Needless to say, his introduction has less vigor.. probably because he's on his own again. ]}

Yo. Sakata Gintoki is my name. It's been awhile since I've showed up here. Aaa, they gave me a job when I first got here, but that didn't work out. Tch, it's a shame, really. What do they expect from me when there's no motivation? I ain't Ch*hiro on a quest to save my pig-turned parents, oi!
_{[ He pauses to take a good bite of the ice cream, a smile finally appearing on his face solely because it tastes so sweet and good. He twirls the spoon idly in his hand as he continues. ]}

Guess that means I have to work for you all now. If you need anything done, no matter what it is, for the right payment, I can do it for you. Here's a list of some of my skills.

( cut for odd jobs )

trashvalkyrie

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

holds_up_walls

Open
[So when Lyle starts this video, people can see that he's clearly put up some rudimentary Christmas decorations around the 14th floor... which is uninhabited except for him simply because he hasn't moved anywhere else]

Merry Christmas or if you speak Gaelic, Nollaig Shona.

So Christmas is a big thing back home. People start celebrating practically at the beginning of the month and on into next month. Tomorrow is the actual day. Normally it's one to celebrate with family, but you know what. I have no actual family here so I wanted to extend the offer to anyone who wanted to join.

Tomorrow I'll be making Christmas dinner and anyone who wants can come up and grab a plate. Stay a while if you want, but its not a requirement.

Closed to Tieria
Hey... I also wanted to invite you over the day after Christmas too.

glitterpants

_{[ Perhaps you recognize this guy because he has two other identical brothers here. Perhaps you recognize him from watching some campy soap opera that he has acted in— you know his face, he's the guy that always dies in the background. If not, perhaps you're one of the unfortunate people who actually know him.. or are friends with him. Yikes. Either way, this feed features Karamatsu illuminated by candlelight, nothing more. He's wearing a closed bathrobe and.. nothing more, either. Well, just about. There's a red bow tied around his neck— if anyone cared to look further, they'll probably see it's also draped over his collarbone, implying he's wrapped up in a ribbon like a present underneath that robe.

Spoiler: he is.

But that's not it. A painful picture deserves some painful monologues, right? He parts his lips, expression appearing wistful. It's bad acting at it's finest. It's cringe worthy. ]}

Ah, December. It is probably... my second favorite time of the year. It is a time for generosity, a time for giving. A time to reflect on your former self as the year draws to an end.. a time for.. love. _{[ TAKES A DRAMATIC SIP OF WINE. ]}
Where I am from.. we celebrate Christmas. It is.. expected, ah no, it is mandatory that love blossoms within the snowy air, shrouding all feelings of loneliness with feelings of adoration— feelings of belong. If you are lonely this month, I can offer you the greatest gift you can ever receive! Ah, are you ready? _{[ He sucks in a breath and then exclaims with a flourish: ]}
IT IS LOVE!!!
It is all the love that I could ever give! Simply accept and be my date on the 25th! I will shower you with gifts! I will shower you with.. romance!
_{[ His voice is cracking slightly from sounding so desperate, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. It's really pitiful. ]}

I will give you a night you won't ever forget! _{[ PROBABLY FOR THE WRONG REASONS... ]}Say goodbye to lonely nights, hello to season delights!!

ragnarsson

[The video starts off with some cheesy infomercial music, the kind usually found on a device that will cut your hair better or replace all your kitchen devices with one. The narrator, one Jamie Dodger, accompanies a series of drawings.]

Has this ever happened to you?

[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]

Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.

[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]

Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.

[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]

Say something.

Like what?

Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.

Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?

...Sure.

[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]

With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.

[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]

And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.

[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]

[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]

doxxing

Hi everyone. As promised, I'm coming at you with an update on where everyone stands in Sombra's Achievement Game.

Here we are so far:

Amazing, we have Taako in the lead, and the two brothers tied for second. I wonder if any of you are going to be able to catch up at this rate.

If you have goodies for me, or you snapped a photo of yourself dressing up for Halloween, or any other updates to provide, you can provide them here or to my inbox personally.

If you aren't sure what this game is, you can check out my rules and explanation here.

doxxing

Well, well, well. It's been awhile, friends.

Since it looks like we're getting into most fun times of the year, I figured now was as good of a time as any to offer everyone to play a game with me. I promise it won't be exceptionally difficult.

Let me introduce you to Sombra's Achievement Game.

So here's basically how it works. I have in this post a list of possible achievements with pre-determined points associated with each achievement. All you have to do is earn those achievements and accumulate as many Sombra Points as you can. The game begins today and ends on December 1st. Whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins a very special prize from yours truly. I'll of course keep you all updated on your current standings and check in here and there.

Now, here are some rules to play by and the list of achievements you can earn.

( RULES, TERMS, and CHIEVOS )

radicalspeed

Ah, to be young and alive! Breathe in the air, enjoy the scenery, get to know the people...

Let me tell you a little philosophy...

[The young man in the video — he's such a character in hair alone (what on earth is going on with it) — sits in his rented hospital wheelchair in his simple apartment space on floor 14 (needs a little work, he thinks, not nearly enough reading material or flashy bits). In one hand, he's got some silly romance novel that's clearly forgotten, and he looks a bit weary, a bit hollowed out from battles not yet mentioned, but he's clearly so very jazzed about the opportunity to be here in Riverview. After all, he'd thought he'd be a dead man, and though he's hardly out of the woods entirely, he has more time to keep going! More time to really go the extra mile -- literally! Ahahahaha!

Oh, yes, the philosophy. Ehem.

At this point, his mouth is moving a mile a minute.]

That's the fun of travel, and there's no better travel than hopping worlds; think about it...! Of all the universes and all the galaxies, you were extended a hand to this place — a one in a trillion chance, perhaps more, to be among the stars! Or perhaps to shoot across time and space like one...! More time to chase after longevity, to meet records, to dash down the sin of sloth. We all have the right to free will! Free will to fall in love, to learn and grow and develop new and interesting hobbies and ideas and concepts of what it is to be our own individual self; individuality is key! [He's balancing on one wheelchair wheel, spinning in a circle. Stop him. STOP HIM.] But what's the point of all that if you're too slow to get around to it, huh?! Don't let yourself hold you back!! If you want something, reach for it, so you know what that means—?!

[He stops. Drops back onto all his wheels, so tickled.]

Anyone interested in wheelchair racing?

[Sometimes (most times) he just can't help himself.]

relieable

_{[ The feed clicks on and there’s Karamatsu— not dressed in anything too horrific this time, but rather something like this. He's posed perfectly against the corner of a wall in his housing, a lamp casting light on him. There’s a rose in his hand? And he takes a big whiff of it. Yeah, please help him. ]}

Aaah, sometimes.. finding love is so brutal-- so difficult and painstaking! I think of it maybe it is better off to be alone instead. Perhaps, you feel the same way too. Perhaps you are waiting for love to sweep you off of your feet, whisk you away to a majestic land— a land of dreams come true! Ah, that’s right, the truest love that even YOU and you deserve!

Heh. Endless love, so distant.

Perhaps, then, you will be happy. Perhaps, then, you will be set free— as your heart is in shackles, aching from heartbreak.. from the diseases of other burning loves! You should search no longer--

[the device is suddenly moved and settles on the face of... another Karamatsu? but when he talks, he has a much different voice. it’s a bit higher than his brother’s. it wasn’t Ichimatsu, just who was this guy, now?]

You’re lonely, and we get that... We really do, more than you know... [he pulls back a little ways, revealing that he is also wearing a nice suit] So! That’s why, we’ve decided to offer our services to you guys! I know, I know, we’re pretty awesome, right? You can thank us all you want, later!

For now, you may be wondering, what are these services, because of course you are. Get this! We’ve decided to give you all the once-in-a-lifetime chance to date us! That’s right! For just a small fee, you can go out with [he jerks his thumb off to the side] Karamatsu over there, or me, the older, more experienced, but not too experienced, [WINK] Osomatsu!

A fee? There is no fee. The only fee they should be willing to pay is with their hearts! Ah, worry not, my honeys! We will be available to date.. free of charge! _{[ EYING OSOMATSU FIRMLY….. ]}

[the camera falls on Karamatsu for a bit, and Osomatsu winces at his expression. Why... why is he like this? Osomatsu sets the device down, so that the camera angles up and at nothing, but you can still hear the brothers in the background]

What do you mean, "There is no fee?" Of course there’s a fee! We can’t just give ourselves away, idiot!

Love should have no price, you are just being greedy!
_{[ aaaand they’re just going to keep bickering until the feed ends. ]}

Current Mood: anxious

holds_up_walls

Well this is fun. Finally confirmed that both my brother and my teammate are gone.

Lucky me. Probably ended up here because of them and now they aren't here.

So I guess it doesn't really matter what he thinks anymore.

riverview network

Entries tagged with ✖ osomatsu-san: osomatsu matsuno

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