riverview | Entries tagged with ✖ gravity rush: raven

_{[ Perhaps you recognize this guy because he has two other identical brothers here. Perhaps you recognize him from watching some campy soap opera that he has acted in— you know his face, he's the guy that always dies in the background. If not, perhaps you're one of the unfortunate people who actually know him.. or are friends with him. Yikes. Either way, this feed features Karamatsu illuminated by candlelight, nothing more. He's wearing a closed bathrobe and.. nothing more, either. Well, just about. There's a red bow tied around his neck— if anyone cared to look further, they'll probably see it's also draped over his collarbone, implying he's wrapped up in a ribbon like a present underneath that robe.

Spoiler: he is.

But that's not it. A painful picture deserves some painful monologues, right? He parts his lips, expression appearing wistful. It's bad acting at it's finest. It's cringe worthy. ]}

Ah, December. It is probably... my second favorite time of the year. It is a time for generosity, a time for giving. A time to reflect on your former self as the year draws to an end.. a time for.. love. _{[ TAKES A DRAMATIC SIP OF WINE. ]}
Where I am from.. we celebrate Christmas. It is.. expected, ah no, it is mandatory that love blossoms within the snowy air, shrouding all feelings of loneliness with feelings of adoration— feelings of belong. If you are lonely this month, I can offer you the greatest gift you can ever receive! Ah, are you ready? _{[ He sucks in a breath and then exclaims with a flourish: ]}
IT IS LOVE!!!
It is all the love that I could ever give! Simply accept and be my date on the 25th! I will shower you with gifts! I will shower you with.. romance!
_{[ His voice is cracking slightly from sounding so desperate, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. It's really pitiful. ]}

I will give you a night you won't ever forget! _{[ PROBABLY FOR THE WRONG REASONS... ]}Say goodbye to lonely nights, hello to season delights!!

ikols

[ A crown! A paper one, set down in front of the camera as Loki starts another. ]

Evening, Quarantine! Tonight in this broadcast is hereby declared Treats-For-Truths and origami gifts are now ready for sale! The price: tell me one of your secrets and I'll send a paper-something directly to you via magic. Please don't get too adventurous in your suggestions, I only have but ten fingers.

[ Other examples sit around the crown, such as a dinosaur, car, and (you're welcome, Thor) teeny tiny hammer. ]

Anyone who owns or is entitled to a crown will get one for free, in a colour of their choosing. Doodled details upon request.

bastardofipswich

[ BEHOLD... a teen witch sitting on his bed. He seems way too energetic, considering he's indoors and doing nothing. (lbr he's nursing a magic-high right now, and it's got him feeling both restless and aimless at the same time.) ]

Hey, show of hands, who here's got too much free time right now? [ HE'LL START. Look at that hand go up. ] Come on, at least one of you watching raised your hand, too. So let's do something about it. Get drunk in public, find a corner to loiter on, a shop to vandalize, you know, normal kids' stuff.

[ He grins. ]

Kidding! [ With a shrug and a careless wave of his hand. ] I'd get up to way worse than that if I wanted to be a public menace. [ Still kidding? EH. ]

Anyway, I can't be the only one here with nothing better to do, so who wants to play a game of Would You Rather? Look, I can even start:

[ He claps his hands together and makes a show of thinking. ]

Would you rather... Have superpowers, but die young. Or be perfectly average, and live a long, painfully uneventful life?

ragnarsson

[The video starts off with some cheesy infomercial music, the kind usually found on a device that will cut your hair better or replace all your kitchen devices with one. The narrator, one Jamie Dodger, accompanies a series of drawings.]

Has this ever happened to you?

[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]

Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.

[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]

Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.

[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]

Say something.

Like what?

Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.

Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?

...Sure.

[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]

With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.

[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]

And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.

[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]

[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]

volitaunt

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[ Translation: location request poe dameron priority maximum please ]

livingsymbol

How do you go about picking gifts?

[ He's just going to dive right in. No real introduction, but Steve figures that most people won't care too much about who is asking this or why. ]

I'm sure a lot of you are better at this than I am, so I guess I need some advice. How do you find a good gift for someone that already has far more than you've seen for half your lifetime? Not that I'm aiming to impress anyone, but it'd be nice to pull it off.

[ He grins a little. Okay, so maybe he's trying. Just a little. But Steve is rarely the one that surprises anyone else. He just wants a chance at doing something cool for a change. Of course, he's realistic and knows this is unlikely, but he can try. ]

I'm in a little over my head on this one. Everyone else always has the flashy stuff covered.

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Entries tagged with ✖ gravity rush: raven

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