( VIDEO & TEXT. 001 ) — un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ The feed reveals one apathetic looking guy. His hair is particularly eye catching, though, being a white color and wavy. He seems to be checking in from home, and by the looks of his attire, it looks like he's in traditional Japanese attire. The guy looks well built and fit, but what seems to be a giant bowl of ice cream is before him on his table with a mound of strawberries on top of it. It looks like he's in the middle of breakfast. Would you call this breakfast? It is for him.. because nobody is here to stop him. He raises one hand as a greeting, though he's sluggish in movement. Get it together, Gin-san! You're basically in the middle of an interview! It's really hard to do this because he usually has two subordinates that introduce themselves with him. Needless to say, his introduction has less vigor.. probably because he's on his own again. ]}

Yo. Sakata Gintoki is my name. It's been awhile since I've showed up here. Aaa, they gave me a job when I first got here, but that didn't work out. Tch, it's a shame, really. What do they expect from me when there's no motivation? I ain't Ch*hiro on a quest to save my pig-turned parents, oi!
_{[ He pauses to take a good bite of the ice cream, a smile finally appearing on his face solely because it tastes so sweet and good. He twirls the spoon idly in his hand as he continues. ]}

Guess that means I have to work for you all now. If you need anything done, no matter what it is, for the right payment, I can do it for you. Here's a list of some of my skills.

CARE TAKER, PROFESSIONAL STAND-IN-LINER, MALE HOST/ESCORT, CHAUFFEUR,
JONIN LEADER, PET FINDER, CHEF, BODY GUARD, BOUNCER, BABY SITTER, POOP SCOOPER, SPIRIT DETECTIVE,DEFENSE ATTORNEY, POLICE OFFICER, ORDINARY PLUMBER, HAIR STYLIST, CONDUCTOR, BIRTHDAY PARTY ORGANIZER, BUS BOY, MAIL MAN, PROFESSIONAL SLEEPER, OKAMA ENTERTAINER, PEST CONTROL, FLOWER ARRANGER, HOT DOG VENDOR, TOILET PAPER REFILLER, SWORDSMAN, TURTLE SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR,
VIDEO GAME TESTER, MANGA ARTIST, DOG SITTING, LIVE MANNEQUIN, ERRAND BOY, STAGE HAND, SPEECH PREPARATION, PIRATE KING, OFFICIAL SANTA CLAUS, ICE CREAM SCIENTIST, MATCH-MAKER, WEDDING GUEST FOR YOUR WEDDING, PET FOOD TESTER, PROFESSIONAL "BEST MAN", BED WARMER,
GARBAGE REMOVER, PAPER TOWEL SNIFFER, CAKE DECORATOR, FIREFIGHTER, TASTE TESTER, STUNTMAN,
DETECTIVE, PERSONAL FASHION CONSULTANT, BLACKSMITH, BOUNTY HUNTER, BODY PAINTER,
WEDDING OFFICIANT, MUSICIAN, FRIDGE CLEANER, PHOTOGRAPHER, REPO MAN, METEOROLOGIST,
HOUSE CLEANING, GOLF BALL DIVER, LAWN MOWER, HANDYMAN, GUM BUSTER, FUNERAL MOURNER,
POLLEN COLLECTOR, BINGO MANAGER, VOICE OVER ARTIST, GYM INSTRUCTOR, NEW YEARS CARD WRITER,
LIFE GUARD, IDOL MANAGER, RAPPER, THERAPIST, BEETLE HUNTER, HISTORY TEACHER, BARTENDER, ETC, ETC, ETC...

Comments

[video] un: b1gbrother

[relieable]

[so many of those jobs sound weird. where does he start?]

“Paper towel sniffer...”

[naturallywavy]

Someone has to make sure that the paper towel smells clean and fresh before they dirty it up. What kind of person would want to use a smelly paper towel, eh!?
_{[ He says this in a very matter-of-fact tone. ]}

[relieable]

[SQUINT]

I’m not gonna pay you to sniff my paper towels.

[naturallywavy]

Fine by me. Don't come crying to me when you find out you have nasty smelling paper towels.
_{[ He seems completely okay with this. ]}

[relieable]

An' what is a "gum buster?"

[maybe Osomatsu should list out his qualities and see if people would pay him.......... ah, he already tried that, sort of]

@sparrow; video

[flowlikewater]

[ Genji's scarred face is lit up from the screen on his device as he reads Gintoki's list of professions... and a look of disappointment/second hand embarrassment slowly pulls down his face as he does so. ]

I am reasonably certain you just took half of these from popular anime.

[naturallywavy]

I don't know what you're talking about.
_{[ Most of them are from actual experiences he's had back home, honestly. ]}

I'm reasonably certain your entire character design was taken from popular tokusatsu references, so shut up.

[flowlikewater]

[ Gin made quite a few anime and manga references when they were stuck under mistletoe, Genji can't help but think he has a mild case of otaku going on. ] 'Pirate king' and 'spirit detective?' Really?

[ A slight pause. ] And no it— wasn't.

[ That's Genji having a half second existential crisis as he wonders if he's right. ]

[naturallywavy]

I dunno. You're shaped kind of like a sentai if you squint really hard. Has that never occurred to you when you look in the mirror? I'm sure people have thought that just by seeing you in passing, Genji-kuuuun.
_{[ His voice is teasing, slightly sing-song. ]}

video; un: SlyBlue

[bottombitch]

[ BED WARMER... is this guy for real? ]

Are you a professional part-timer or something?

...Some of these jobs don't even sound real.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Bed warmer is one of his absolute favorites. ]}

You'd be surprised what people will pay you to do. I'm mainly listing what I have experience doing, but hey, you never know if you're into something until you try it once.
_{[ Don't make it sound gross. ]}

I'm a freelancer. Been doing it for years.
_{[ Before that, he was a legendary samurai hero, but then he with all the other samurai ended up jobless with their new government. ]}

[bottombitch]

Heeeh... I guess I can relate a little... [ But not to this level. This is too much.

Some of these jobs are pretty out there, so completely unrealistic that he can't even imagine this guy dressed as a 'OFFICIAL SANTA CLAUS' or an 'OKAMA ENTERTAINER' --

...

Okay, maybe he can sorta see that last one. ]

No offense but 'Paper Towel Sniffer' sounds a bit far-fetched. Did someone really pay you to sniff their paper towels? [ DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KNOW? ]

[naturallywavy]

You'd be surprised at the jobs I've been hired to do before. Nothing surprises me anymore.
_{[ Edo isn't exactly the most normal place anymore. ]}

Somebody like you could probably use me for something. Like maybe a better hair cut.
_{[ Is that an insult?? Oh no.. forgive him, he doesn't know about your sensitive hair. ]}

voice; thunderer

[worldsaway]

It's interesting that I understand most of these words on their own, but when you put them all together I have no idea what you're talking about.

What exactly is the difference between an ordinary plumber and an extraordinary plumber?

voice » un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ How does somebody not get this reference? Gah, he hates having to explain his jokes! He has a feeling he'll have to do this a lot with this guy. ]}

An extraordinary plumber deals with the worst poops imaginable.
An ordinary plumber rescues Princess P**ch from the castle.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.. it should be the other way around, right? There's some pretty bad poops out there— it's a dirty job.

[worldsaway]

Right. [Thor says, as if he understands, in a voice that says I don't understand.]

I think you'll have a hard time finding princesses to rescue, so maybe you should be an extraordinary plumber instead.

[naturallywavy]

Yeah? This place seems like it wouldn't have many princesses, but who knows. Sometimes she's simply just in another castle.. and nobody is looking hard enough!
_{[ He gets that Thor has no idea what he's talking about and that just makes it more amusing for him. ]}

Do you have any experience rescuing princesses?

( text; )@ shigeru miyata

[mysophobic]

[ Shigeru kind of knows what a lot of these are but...then there are some he's just really confused about?! ]

What's an okama entertainer?

[ Shigeru no. ]

And a turtle school instructor? I've always thought turtles were just animals. Can they speak where you're from? [ If so that's pretty cool. ]

TEXT » un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

crossdressing. that's what it is.
_{[ It's not Gintoki's favorite job, but somehow he keeps getting round up in it. He even has a stage name, too. The next answer comes after some thought. ]}

there's some amanto turtles, so yeah, guess they do. that's not what the school is about though.
_{[ Does nobody here watch classic anime? Seriously? ]}

[mysophobic]

[ Why does he actively find ways of embarrassing himself?! He takes a few moments to stop blushing hard enough to text back a reply. ]

Oh! I didn't know, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable! [ Listen Shigeru has an excuse for both things at least. He's not even from Earth so he doesn't know classic animes nor does he know Japanese cultural terms. ]

Amanto turtles? What exactly do you do then?

[naturallywavy]

i do whatever anyone wants.. as long as it is helping people.. and it pays rent!!
i'm the man of 10,000 jobs!

_{[ yeah, he's trying to make himself sound real great. ]}

surely there's something you need help with, right?

text; un@wild.links

[wildlinks]

[That's a... quite an extensive list of his skills. Yu can't help but be amazed despite some of these don't sound... correct?]

How did you manage to acquire such amount of skills? It is a really impressive list.

Also- do people really hire 'pet food testers'?

[naturallywavy]

how did i manage it?
very carefully
and over 600 manga chapters later

they did back home
_{[ Though, his Japan is really different from your Japan, probably. ]}

[wildlinks]

Manga helped you get skills? Interesting

[Maybe Yosuke isn't an idiot after all]

You have a lot of guts

[naturallywavy]

i mean
i've read a crap ton more than just 600 chapters
_{[ What he meant is he has existed in 600+ chapters.. breaking the 4th wall is tough sometimes. Gintoki is a JUMP fanatic, though. He's read so much more! ]}

more like i have a lot of patience.. patience more so than guts
you try accepting any client imaginable with whatever they want