( VIDEO & TEXT. 001 ) — un: strawberrysamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ The feed reveals one apathetic looking guy. His hair is particularly eye catching, though, being a white color and wavy. He seems to be checking in from home, and by the looks of his attire, it looks like he's in traditional Japanese attire. The guy looks well built and fit, but what seems to be a giant bowl of ice cream is before him on his table with a mound of strawberries on top of it. It looks like he's in the middle of breakfast. Would you call this breakfast? It is for him.. because nobody is here to stop him. He raises one hand as a greeting, though he's sluggish in movement. Get it together, Gin-san! You're basically in the middle of an interview! It's really hard to do this because he usually has two subordinates that introduce themselves with him. Needless to say, his introduction has less vigor.. probably because he's on his own again. ]}

Yo. Sakata Gintoki is my name. It's been awhile since I've showed up here. Aaa, they gave me a job when I first got here, but that didn't work out. Tch, it's a shame, really. What do they expect from me when there's no motivation? I ain't Ch*hiro on a quest to save my pig-turned parents, oi!
_{[ He pauses to take a good bite of the ice cream, a smile finally appearing on his face solely because it tastes so sweet and good. He twirls the spoon idly in his hand as he continues. ]}

Guess that means I have to work for you all now. If you need anything done, no matter what it is, for the right payment, I can do it for you. Here's a list of some of my skills.

CARE TAKER, PROFESSIONAL STAND-IN-LINER, MALE HOST/ESCORT, CHAUFFEUR,
JONIN LEADER, PET FINDER, CHEF, BODY GUARD, BOUNCER, BABY SITTER, POOP SCOOPER, SPIRIT DETECTIVE,DEFENSE ATTORNEY, POLICE OFFICER, ORDINARY PLUMBER, HAIR STYLIST, CONDUCTOR, BIRTHDAY PARTY ORGANIZER, BUS BOY, MAIL MAN, PROFESSIONAL SLEEPER, OKAMA ENTERTAINER, PEST CONTROL, FLOWER ARRANGER, HOT DOG VENDOR, TOILET PAPER REFILLER, SWORDSMAN, TURTLE SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR,
VIDEO GAME TESTER, MANGA ARTIST, DOG SITTING, LIVE MANNEQUIN, ERRAND BOY, STAGE HAND, SPEECH PREPARATION, PIRATE KING, OFFICIAL SANTA CLAUS, ICE CREAM SCIENTIST, MATCH-MAKER, WEDDING GUEST FOR YOUR WEDDING, PET FOOD TESTER, PROFESSIONAL "BEST MAN", BED WARMER,
GARBAGE REMOVER, PAPER TOWEL SNIFFER, CAKE DECORATOR, FIREFIGHTER, TASTE TESTER, STUNTMAN,
DETECTIVE, PERSONAL FASHION CONSULTANT, BLACKSMITH, BOUNTY HUNTER, BODY PAINTER,
WEDDING OFFICIANT, MUSICIAN, FRIDGE CLEANER, PHOTOGRAPHER, REPO MAN, METEOROLOGIST,
HOUSE CLEANING, GOLF BALL DIVER, LAWN MOWER, HANDYMAN, GUM BUSTER, FUNERAL MOURNER,
POLLEN COLLECTOR, BINGO MANAGER, VOICE OVER ARTIST, GYM INSTRUCTOR, NEW YEARS CARD WRITER,
LIFE GUARD, IDOL MANAGER, RAPPER, THERAPIST, BEETLE HUNTER, HISTORY TEACHER, BARTENDER, ETC, ETC, ETC...

Comments

[flowlikewater]

Hilarious. You'll have to be a little more creative than that.

[ Genji figured out pretty quick he's from 'the future' to quite a number of folks here, so he wouldn't be surprised... but he definitely doesn't think Gintoki is actually from the 1800s. ]

You know, you could just join the Perimeter Guard. Unless you're too busy eating ice cream all day.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Interesting. Genji is actually making a suggestion to him. ]}
Aaa, that sounds like so much effort.. so much effort. What is it.. is that what you do all day long, Genji-kun? You want me to work with you? _{[ flatly: ]}

Ah, I'm touched you miss Gin-san so much.

[flowlikewater]

It's quite dangerous outside the walls of the city, so it's never boring. [ He shrugs a shoulder.

And rolls his eyes, voice getting dull and sarcastic again. ] Ah, yes, you found me out. I weep into my pillow at night and everything.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ He's actually really amused at all of this. Look, he's even smiling. Good going— looks like he can appreciate equal amounts of sarcasm. ]}

It wouldn't be nearly as dangerous if I worked there. Hey, is that what you're saying? I'm flattered.
_{[ And yet, it doesn't sound like he's jumping right on the invitation. ]}

[flowlikewater]

[ Genji is surprised to find himself not irritated by Gintoki's... everything like he'd expected. Is this a blossoming friendship? Goodness gracious.

Watch Genji try not to smile in return. ] Yes, my elaborate plan to get you to do all my work for me. I'll have to try another tactic then.

[naturallywavy]

Didn't know you were a slack-off, oi. You give off more of that stick-up-your-ass-no-fun-guy-follow-the-rules aura.

You should probably work on that.
_{[ Oh Gin, if you only knew. ]}

[flowlikewater]

[ There are a few seconds where Genji's expression is blank and unreadable before he bursts into laughter. ]

Have I? [ He wipes at at eye. ] That's terrible. I will have to work on that.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Oh my god.. what was that response? For some reason, it was irritating. ]}
That wasn't funny! Why are you laughing at that, you moron?!

[flowlikewater]

[ Okay now Genji's even more amused that it annoyed him. He's grinning now. ]

Because my brother is the one with the stick up his ass, not me. So yes, it was quite funny.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ You mean there's people who are more stuck up than him? Oh god. ]}

You two must be quite the exciting pair, then.
_{[ S A R C A S M. ]}

Like a pair of saggy old b*lls.

[flowlikewater]

The saggiest.

[ He scratches at one of the scars on his face. ]

So I take it you don't have much interest in joining the Guard, then?

[naturallywavy]

_{[ He's bringing this up again, huh? ]}

You didn't strike me as the type to beg.
_{[ Gin, stop. ]}

... I'm pretty busy, you know. I dunno. Sounds like a big commitment.
_{[ Fact that he won't tell: he's liking this kind of attention. ]}

[flowlikewater]

[ Deadpan stare for a beat. ]

You literally just made a post talking about how you're looking for a job.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ He knows that and that is why it's FUNNY. Especially with Genji's response— just the reaction he wanted. He idly picks at one of his ears, speaking lazily: ]}

Long hours, long shifts... it's a lot of pressure.. saving people's lives and keeping everyone safe. Not to mention I'd see you everyday, eehh..

[flowlikewater]

[ Genji has a sneaking suspicion he is indeed being messed with, but who can say. ]

I keep my mask on during my shift, if it helps.

[ He doesn't really even care if he joins or not, this is just now a hill he has to die on. ]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Genji is always been messed with when he talks to Gintoki, let's face it. He's a little curious about Genji's origin— what he is and who he is. He gets there's probably some big story behind it, but he still cannot resist making another quip: ]}

... maybe if you took the mask off it would scare all the monsters away, right?
_{[ RUDE. ]}

I mean, what are you hiding under there? Are you actually just balding and ashamed of it?

[flowlikewater]

[ That gets a snort. ] If only it were that simple.

[ Another snort. Balding, no, going gray in his thirties yes... but that's what the hair dye is for. ]

Medical reasons is the dull answer. I'm not mostly metal as a fashion statement.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Medical reasons, huh? Innocently, since he has no other clue: ]}
Sounds like Fullmetal Alchemist crap. I bet you have a brother who is part metal too, huh?
_{[ HE REALLY HAS NO IDEA. ]}