video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

video;

[inlaid]

[Do not laugh, do not laugh, do not laugh at all because the terrifyingly badass warriors will probably not understand at first that she is not laughing at them but at the situation. And yes, the seeming absurdity of the garments they're holding. It takes her a couple minutes to settle before she starts a video feed.]

Underwear trends shift and change with time and with the influx of new cultures, I'm sure. Most of what you're both holding isn't meant for practical function but more fashion.

[She pauses a beat.]

I'm fairly certain the garment with the zipper isn't meant to be worn all day, and there are some people I'm certain that would enjoy disrobing a partner in that way. Even if there isn't much to disrobe there in the first place. The novelty of it appeals to them. The push-up bras are for those who prefer to support rather than bind their chests, likely. And the lace...well. While it's appealing to some people to see partners in those garments there are many who enjoy wearing it for themselves? And a more practical fabric in that style can be surprisingly comfortable.

video;

[fiercestwarrior]

[ That all pretty much tracks with Sif's own assumptions about all this, though it doesn't really make her see the appeal. Not that she has to, of course. ]

Is untangling your pubic hair supposed to be part of the fun?

[ Because honestly that's the only fate she can envision here when it comes to that zipper unless of course one prefers to keep that area hairless. ]

video

[trashvalkyrie]

Look, I get it. You want to show off your butt and your boobs. Fine. But...

[She shakes her head; she's really not seeing the point to this.]

There are better ways to do that without running a string right up your asscrack, surely.

video

[storradr]

It's very difficult to judge how offensive these items are... without them being modeled.

[Obviously there was no way he could agree to their ridiculousness until he saw them being worn.]

video

[trashvalkyrie]

[uhhhhnope]

If you think that's happening you can get fucked. Or at least buy me a drink first.

text; un: bewitchy

[bastardofipswich]

lmao straight people ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ That's it. That's Chase's explanation for the lingerie. As if there isn't dumb lingerie marketed to just about every demographic, Chase! ]

text; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

the fuck's that supposed to mean

video; k.page

[paged]

[ Okay, before she can even get the feed on, she's laughing. Guess it's nothing she hasn't seen done on Youtube back in her world. When the feed cuts on, she shrugs a shoulder, ]

Some people enjoy it. Both wearing and looking at it. Some women say they feel sexy in it and others... feel more like you do. It's all a matter of what the individual likes.

[ And don't even get her started on corsets coming back for burlesque shows. ]

video; sif

[fiercestwarrior]

So I was right in thinking this is mostly about attracting a sexual partner?

video » @LOKIOFASGARD

[ikols]

Where in the name of Ymir's frosty wang are you two shopping? As a rule, you should avoid all underwear with zips!

video » @sif

[fiercestwarrior]

We are not shopping, merely looking.

text: un scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

How...

How is that even functional?

[Well, she has nothing better to do while recovering so...]

text; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

ITS FUCKIN NOT

video; → actualwizard666

[wiccant]

Some people find it sexually appealing?

( the zippered one is absolutely hilarious though. who the hell would wear that? )

They're not meant to be functional. At all. They're mostly to put on just to take off.

video

[trashvalkyrie]

Right. And why are all the experts on the matter, like...teenage boys?

[Video]; UN: e.swan

[thesavior]

[Emma feels your pain ladies, believe her. This is why she hates dressing up. ]

Not all women go that far in their need to look attractive.

[not that there is anything wrong with wearing things that make you feel good. ]

I've never seen the need, but then again no one was around to teach me.

[trashvalkyrie]

If anyone tried to teach me about crotchless panties, I'd deck them.

Voice - UN: lolococo416

[threatenwithcuteness]

Well, some girls, if they have the butt for it, kinda like to show it off. Although the main reason is it limits how much of a panty line your dress leaves if it's super... snug.

The other one... is a kinky sex toy, and really only for people that never have any hair at all down there. *You can hear the face Lola's making at that prospect.*

Cups look nice, not all girls have breasts as full as yours, and if you're choking on your own breasts you've managed to do something impressively wrong with it.

voice

[trashvalkyrie]

I get that, sure. I still think there are better ways to show off your ass than yanking a string up your crack, but alright.

...Thanks, I guess? I suppose if you want to make them look bigger...but once you take it off they just go back to normal, anyway.

video; @falcon

[wingedman]

That kind of thing isn't supposed to be functional, it's for looks. Although, yeah, I'm totally with you on the zipper, that shit's just weird. And potentially painful.

And, hey, sometimes a lady wants to emphasize what she's got. Or what she doesn't have enough of, in her opinion.

[All tits are good tits, if you ask Sam.]

video

[trashvalkyrie]

Huh. And why wouldn't I think what I've got's good enough?

[Someone's a little bit cocky.]

video. un: gamora.

[godslay]

No.

[ That's it. That's the response. ]

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[Val pulls a face.]

Right?

( text | un: fierro )

[garotted]

I wear a lot of cute lacy things, but nothing with zippers, and thongs are right out, no thanks.
I like bright colors and satin and lace, and it makes me feel feminine. It's probably a little different for me, though, since I'm not a cis woman.
Still, if a dude ever told me to wear lingerie, he could fuck right on off as far as I'm concerned.

text; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[WOW THERE'S A LOT GOING ON HERE]

women on asgard wore silks and fine fabrics but that was never my lot in life
ive always felt more comfortable wearing leather and metal

thats a mood though

(Video | UN: blinded.by.light)

[soulsflight]

(Aesthetics. It all comes down to aesthetics. Claire is too old and too mature to laugh.) Fashion has never made much sense. What you're holding makes even less sense than the usual shirt or skirt. I think it's supposed to be...sexy? I agree, it would be better to not wear anything at all.

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

Finally someone who agrees with me. It just seems...unnecessary.

[drops this off]

[shoplifter]

[fiercestwarrior]

ooc: This made my whole day.

video; @lindholm

[valr]

You actually try any of that on? Thongs are comfier than they look.

[Normally she'd slip into the fancy Asgardian talk to match Sif, but Val is a lot more rougher and honestly, that's preferable.]

Can't say shit about push up bras, haven't got the tits for 'em.

[She doesn't even wear bras most of the time, they get in the way of her wings.]

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

Hel no.

[Not...yet, anyway. She might give it a shot in the safety of her own housing.]

I'm more used to breastplates meant to keep me getting stabbed through the heart, but I guess if that's not a concern...

text; @chronicler

[scholiast]

(It takes Lucretia a moment to figure how she'll word this exactly; in the end, she decides to keep it nice and simple.)

Sometimes women wear lingerie for OTHER women


That one with the zipper shouldn't be worn by anybody though. (It looks... advanced.)

@scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

i'm not completely unfamiliar with that whole thing,
actually. it just isn't common where i come from.


the zipper one is messed up.

voice; thunderer

[worldsaway]

I'm glad you're both keeping busy.

voice; sif

[fiercestwarrior]

I think one could say that we are... what is that word... "bonding"?

video. un: dirthara

[stumbledfromtheashes]

[Iona's just going to frown, because that isn't any sort of sensible at all.]

Why would anyone want to wear any of that? It's... really non-functional.

[Not suitable for battle or... anything, really. It might be pretty, but does pretty really outweigh functionality?]

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

Ugh, I know! Like...I don't care if someone wants to, that's not my business, I just don't get why.

[video] un: b1gbrother

[relieable]

[oh. oh shit. this was, like, not only erotic, but also hilarious. Osomatsu can't find the words he wants to say, so he's just staring, like a creep, for a few seconds, before his mouth starts to work]

You, uh.... You gonna put 'em on?

[video] un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[Flatly:]

Not in your wildest dreams.

video » un: 2cool

[glitterpants]

_{[ Right after "b1gbrother" responds to this video, somebody else replies with an identical face. The only difference is his eyebrows are a little broader and his voice is a little deeper. Otherwise, they're equal amounts of trash. ]}

Oi.. are you gonna put those on?
_{[ Unlike Osomatsu, Karamatsu looks a little more flustered at the thought. ]}

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[right so she's paying literally no attention to anything but the fact that this guy's face looks just like the other guy's face, and her face turns from mildly annoyed to full-on irritated.]

Didn't I just tell you no? Here, let me make that more clear for you: fuck no.

» video, un: stormborn

[ex_jelmazmo599]

No wonder the women of Essos don't wear smallclothes. Eminently more liberating.

» video, un: sif

[fiercestwarrior]

It does seem that way to me as well.

audio: sn: alexpnws

[11calls]

I don't know you, but I love you both already.

audio: sn: sif

[fiercestwarrior]

I cannot say I return the sentiment.

[ Taking things too seriously, as she so often does. ]

[text because he's laughing too hard.]

[scoutsniper]

Underwear is practical, sure.

Lingerie serves a whoooole 'nother purpose, though.

You're not supposed to wear it for very long.

[fiercestwarrior]

As I understand the intended use, I have a feeling I would end up breaking most of these items.

[ They would get ripped and that would be that. ]