trashvalkyrie: (44)
V A L K Y R I E ([personal profile] trashvalkyrie) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-12-27 10:58 am

video || un: scrapper142

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]


Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]
fiercestwarrior: (I did)

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[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-02 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I know what it feels like to be bare beneath my clothing.

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[personal profile] ex_jelmazmo599 2018-01-03 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Most sensible people should, my lady. The only good those garments are for is having someone remove them from your person.

( Honestly, modern people. )
fiercestwarrior: (talking)

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[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-05 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Most people familiar with these items seem to be of the opinion that that is the entire point.

[ Taking them off, that is. ]

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[personal profile] ex_jelmazmo599 2018-01-07 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
Then why do some expect women to wear them all day long? I can't fathom it.

( She makes a short scoff. )

We don't need those to be more attractive to men. If they're worthy, they would find us thus in any case.

Mine certainly has no complaint.
fiercestwarrior: (just killed a thing)

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[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-10 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ That makes Sif smirk a little. ]

Are you sure he would dare to voice it if he did?

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[personal profile] ex_jelmazmo599 2018-01-10 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
( Recalling the several occasions upon which he's had no compunction in being thoroughly honest with her, Dany finds herself smiling faintly. )

He absolutely would. Challenging me is something he does very well.
fiercestwarrior: (friendly)

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[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-10 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
That is a good man.

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[personal profile] ex_jelmazmo599 2018-01-10 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
The very best I know, lady.

( And fortunately, he's here with her, too. Dany tips her head a little. )

is such an honest spirit rare where you come from, as well?

fiercestwarrior: (Kneeling)

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[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-21 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
I would like to think not, but it is still a trait I value highly.

[ And there has certainly been more deception in her life than she ever knew. ]