trashvalkyrie: (44)
V A L K Y R I E ([personal profile] trashvalkyrie) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-12-27 10:58 am

video || un: scrapper142

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]


Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]
relieable: (you sneaky sonuva)

[personal profile] relieable 2018-01-05 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
By everyone! [maybe not everyone] I'm the Osomatsu!
fiercestwarrior: (defiance)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-06 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Never heard of you.

[ It's the truth, but mostly she said it to annoy him more. ]
relieable: but i don't really care due to the beer and the xanax (beer and xanax may be a bad combo)

[personal profile] relieable 2018-01-06 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[of course she's never heard of him... but it still makes him bristle. just a bit]

Well. I've never heard of you, either. [so there!]
fiercestwarrior: (honing)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-10 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
That does not trouble me in the slightest.
relieable: (there is booty call etiquette)

[personal profile] relieable 2018-01-10 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
[huffs]

Fine, allow me to introduce myself! I'm Osomatsu. An' now you know me.
fiercestwarrior: (Stern)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2018-01-21 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
I am lady Sif of Asgard, and I do not know you. Only your name.

[ Which is fine by her. ]