V A L K Y R I E (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashvalkyrie) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverview2017-12-27 10:58 am
trashvalkyrie) wrote in riverview2017-12-27 10:58 am
Entry tags:
- marvel (616): loki laufeyson,
- marvel (mcu): gamora,
- ✖ ffxiii: lightning farron,
- ✖ game of thrones: daenerys targaryen,
- ✖ marvel (mcu): sif,
- ✖ marvel (mcu): valkyrie,
- ✖ marvel (tv): karen page,
- ✖ once upon a time: emma swan,
- ✖ original: bryn zethir,
- ✖ osomatsu-san: karamatsu matsuno,
- ✖ osomatsu-san: osomatsu matsuno,
- ✖ the adventure zone: lucretia
video || un: scrapper142
[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?
The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.
Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]
Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.
And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.
[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]
Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.
[Val nods emphatically.]
Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.
[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]
The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.
Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]
Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.
And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.
[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]
Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.
[Val nods emphatically.]
Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.
[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]
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Billy Kaplan, Young Avenger, boyfriend to the really annoying Loki with the very punchable face.
And you?
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You can call me Val. Revenger. Blame Thor for the name.
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"Revenger" is an interesting choice. ( it's not even the first time there has been a team called that. but he has a feeling, from his few encounters with that thor, it was more a last minute "we can't be the avengers so i need to think of something else" thing. )
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[And actually, they kind of got their revenge already, didn't they? So maybe he'll just stop...calling them that.]
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( timelines are weird, he won't know if she's close to thor's without asking. )
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[She pulls a face.]
I was there when he came up with it. He was definitely just scrambling for something cool-sounding.