video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

video; @lindholm

[valr]

You actually try any of that on? Thongs are comfier than they look.

[Normally she'd slip into the fancy Asgardian talk to match Sif, but Val is a lot more rougher and honestly, that's preferable.]

Can't say shit about push up bras, haven't got the tits for 'em.

[She doesn't even wear bras most of the time, they get in the way of her wings.]

video; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

Hel no.

[Not...yet, anyway. She might give it a shot in the safety of her own housing.]

I'm more used to breastplates meant to keep me getting stabbed through the heart, but I guess if that's not a concern...

[valr]

Most people don't go into battle every day. Or at all.

[So: push up bras.]

[trashvalkyrie]

Well, then, that's well enough for them. I'll stick with shit that's comfortable enough to move around in, personally.

[valr]

Sports bras are good for that, if you ain't run into those yet.

[She's trying not to make assumptions about people here.]

[trashvalkyrie]

No, I haven't. They're comfortable? They're not gonna shove my tits up to my chin?

[valr]

[Kara figures the quickest explanation is to just send Val a link to a store that sells sports bras so she can see what they look like for herself.]

Lot of 'em don't have underwire or padding, they just keep your tits in place when you're moving a lot.

[trashvalkyrie]

Aw, fuck yeah. This is what I'm talking about.

What's your name, anyway? Since you've been so helpful, unlike anyone else.

[valr]

Two hot women are talking about lingerie and men are idiots.

[Just like... saying, since that's a lot of what Val and Sif are dealing with here.]

Kara.

[trashvalkyrie]

...Fair. Both very true statements.

[She's not going to, like, deny it.]

Kara. I'm Val.

[valr]

[Ah.

She puts the pieces together quickly and something like recognition flickers in her expression, but this isn't the place for a conversation like that.]

You ever need help with this shit, you can call me. I've seen it all.

[A thousand years and various cultures worth of lingerie. There's not much she can't figure out.]

[trashvalkyrie]

[Val catches that minute change in expression, but chooses not to comment on it. That seems like it would start a conversation that's far too serious for her current mood.

So she grins, instead.]

Thanks. I know who to call, then.

[valr]

[Definitely too heavy of a conversation. Kara gives a little salute.]

You got it.

[And she's going to end this conversation here; she needs time to process... all of this.]

video; @sif

[fiercestwarrior]

Not today. Perhaps some day, if a need arises.

[ Her tone makes it pretty clear she's finding that unlikely. ]

[valr]

[Kara huffs a little laugh.]

You ever wear something so tight you need one, seamless is another option.

[She's being helpful.]

[fiercestwarrior]

I will be sure to consult you, should I ever find myself trapped in a distressingly tight gown.

[valr]

[There's a mental image.

Help.]

More tights than gowns, but I've had a couple decades dealing with it.

[fiercestwarrior]

[ You're welcome? ]

I think if what I was wearing required so little to be worn underneath, I would just go without the little string of cloth.

[valr]

Some people'll do that, but it's not as socially acceptable.

[And people get funny about that kind of thing.]

[fiercestwarrior]

Why not? It is not as if anyone can see it.

[ Unless you're wearing seethrough clothing, she supposes. ]

[valr]

But they know, if they do it. Feels wrong to break rules. Society's like that.

[For most people.]

[fiercestwarrior]

I suppose.

[ Sif isn't much of a rulebreaker these days, it's true. She mostly left that part of herself in the past.

Except for when she has to pull it out to commit treason for the sake of people she loves, of course. ]