video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[video] un: b1gbrother

[relieable]

[oh. oh shit. this was, like, not only erotic, but also hilarious. Osomatsu can't find the words he wants to say, so he's just staring, like a creep, for a few seconds, before his mouth starts to work]

You, uh.... You gonna put 'em on?

[video] un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[Flatly:]

Not in your wildest dreams.

[relieable]

[well]

I mean. I bet you look better with them off, anyway.

[wow, that was so not the right thing to say, dumbass]

[trashvalkyrie]

You...must have a death wish, yeah?

[relieable]

[he's only brave because he's behind a screen]

A death wish? I was complimenting you!

[trashvalkyrie]

Oh, is that what that leering was meant to be? A compliment. Right. Do yourself a favor and stop doing that.

[relieable]

I... wasn’t leering... Or, like, I didn’t make the conscious decision to leer. My body did that on its own!

[trashvalkyrie]

Well, whatever you were doing with your face, don't do it in my direction!

[relieable]

Sorry. [he's not that sorry] If it helps, I thought your commentary was pretty great.

[trashvalkyrie]

Save the flattery. I know it was great. It came out of my own mouth.

[relieable]

[whoooooa. someone's got a high opinion of herself. that just makes Osomatsu laugh. not meanly, he's amused]

There are probably a lot of women that'd appreciate it! I bet you'd be pretty good at stand-up comedy!

[trashvalkyrie]

I'm a warrior, not a comedian.

[That's definitely a note of warning in her voice. Tread carefully, there, Oso.]

[relieable]

[tough crowd...]

A warrior? That's really cool! Bet'cha kick all kinds of ass!

[trashvalkyrie]

Yes. Yes, I do.

[STARING HIM DOWN AS SHE SAYS THAT.]

[video] un: sif

[fiercestwarrior]

[ Sif stares back, like a woman who has no patience for this. ]

No.

[relieable]

[hmmm]

Geez, you chicks can't take a joke, can you?

[fiercestwarrior]

I think the issue is more that you cannot make one.

[ Because that was not even remotely funny. ]

[relieable]

[ooooh... don't tell a joker he can't make jokes. now he's mad]

Hey, now, that's uncalled for! I'll have you know, back home, I'm considered hilarious!

[fiercestwarrior]

By who?

[ She's not seeing it, dude. ]

[relieable]

By everyone! [maybe not everyone] I'm the Osomatsu!

[fiercestwarrior]

Never heard of you.

[ It's the truth, but mostly she said it to annoy him more. ]

[relieable]

[of course she's never heard of him... but it still makes him bristle. just a bit]

Well. I've never heard of you, either. [so there!]

[fiercestwarrior]

That does not trouble me in the slightest.

[relieable]

[huffs]

Fine, allow me to introduce myself! I'm Osomatsu. An' now you know me.

[fiercestwarrior]

I am lady Sif of Asgard, and I do not know you. Only your name.

[ Which is fine by her. ]