video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[relieable]

[tough crowd...]

A warrior? That's really cool! Bet'cha kick all kinds of ass!

[trashvalkyrie]

Yes. Yes, I do.

[STARING HIM DOWN AS SHE SAYS THAT.]

[relieable]

[she's awesome! even if she doesn't seem to like his jokes]

Guess that's why ya don't find these clothes practical. But lingerie is supposed to be worn for fun! To look good and feel good... Or something like that.

[trashvalkyrie]

I'm gathering that, yeah. I guess if that's what you need to feel good, then that's none of my business.

[relieable]

[haha... wow]

Well, what sorts of things do you do to feel good about yourself?

[trashvalkyrie]

Me?

[She actually considers that for a moment.] Fight. Shoot things. Stab things. Drink.

[relieable]

[not bad! sounds all very warrior-ish]

Drinking's a lot of fun! And I'm gettin' pretty good at stabbing things myself, lately.

[trashvalkyrie]

Yeah? Like what, stabbing fries with a fork?

[relieable]

[HOHO! he laughs, quite tickled with her joke! this one is fiery]

Actually, I'm training with Ivar to become a better, uh... Fighter? Well, at least to learn how to defend myself better!

[trashvalkyrie]

Oh, yeah? He showing you how to pull yourself across the ground, too?

[relieable]

[ah...]

Hey, he's pretty good for what he can do. Better than me, at least.

[trashvalkyrie]

Oh, I don't doubt it. I'm just saying, he has a special set of skills that most people don't.

[relieable]

Well, I guess he'd have to. But, hey, I'm not picky. If he can teach me how t'defend myself better, then I'm fine with learning, even if it's not the usual way.

[trashvalkyrie]

Good. I don't know him all that well, but his sort are fierce fighters. You're in good hands.

[relieable]

[Osomatsu's relieved to hear her say that. he was worried she was making fun of Ivar before]

Yeah, guess I am! [a beat] Hey, my name's Osomatsu! What's yours?

[trashvalkyrie]

...Val. This doesn't make us friends, you know.

[relieable]

[hehe]

Wouldn't be the first time I've heard that. Take care anyway! I look forward to more funny content!

[trashvalkyrie]

You'll be looking for awhile.

[CLICK]