video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[glitterpants]

_{[ oh.... ]}
My whole... deal.
<sub>[ He repeats for dramatic effect. Then, he snaps his fingers, nodding a few times. However, he doesn't say anything.. he draws it out an makes it build up.

And then, finally: ]</sub>

I am not certain! I do not think I have ever gotten this far into this kind of conversation with a girl before. .. Is it working?
_{[ I'm so sorry... ]}

[trashvalkyrie]

[She's honestly so baffled by....his existence right now.]

...................no.

[glitterpants]

_{[ That is a natural response when someone first meets him, don't worry. It's also a natural response for him to talk to a girl this way— Val is honestly not the first. ]}

It is a bit overwhelming, is it not? _{[ He means this in a positive way, but he's probably overwhelming in a negative way to her. ]}

What you should do with the clothing if you are not willing to try it on.. keep it in mind in case you need to buy someone a present. I am sure they will find it humorous if they do not like it. As a master of fashion, I would say somebody out there might would wear something like this.

[trashvalkyrie]

Right. Overwhelming. If that's...what you want to call it.

[Honestly, at this point? His commitment is kind of impressive even if the overall message is irritating.]

You're a master of fashion? That sounds made-up.

[glitterpants]

Of course! I make my own clothes sometimes.. it is not very hard, but sometimes I do lack the motivation. I read fashion magazines all the time so I know what is cool!
_{[ No, he doesn't. More like he idolizes all of the fashion models and wishes to be like them. ]}

[trashvalkyrie]

Okay, sure, but don't you need to like...go to school or something to be considered a 'master'?

[glitterpants]

Says who.
_{[ Society, you know. Basically, everyone. ]}

[trashvalkyrie]

...Everyone?

[glitterpants]

_{[ .... ]}
While you have a valid point, It is.. in my future plans to go to school for something such as this! Ah.. I am training well in my free time while I have it.
_{[ Spoiler: he doesn't have plans for this whatsoever. ]}

I'm glad to have seen that you found some of fashion's treasures.. even if it is not your taste.