video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

text; un: bewitchy

[bastardofipswich]

lmao straight people ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ That's it. That's Chase's explanation for the lingerie. As if there isn't dumb lingerie marketed to just about every demographic, Chase! ]

text; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

the fuck's that supposed to mean

[bastardofipswich]

it means that stuff's probably made for women to wear for straight dudes?? that's why it makes no sense

[trashvalkyrie]

i see i see
so if a woman wore it for another woman it wouldn't work?

[asking 4 a friend]

[bastardofipswich]

uhhhhhh idk [ UNSURPRISINGLY... he's never really thought much about what ladies might find appealing. ]

i mean... do YOU find it attractive?

[trashvalkyrie]

[you can't see it but BIG SHRUG]

mostly i just find it painful-looking and strange but like
i can see how it might be

[bastardofipswich]

oh
then
maybe??

[ WAS HE WRONG ALL ALONG? IS HIS JOKE FALLING APART BEFORE HIS VERY EYES? ]

all i know is if someone wore zipper underoos for me i'd be worried about something getting stuck

[trashvalkyrie]

huh

anyway
that was my thought too
it just seems like a bad idea all around

[bastardofipswich]

yeah and it's way more expensive than just getting naked and oiling yourself up for your "SPECIAL SOMEONE~"

[trashvalkyrie]

gods THANK YOU
finally someone else gets it

text; un: sif

[fiercestwarrior]

What does "straight people" mean?

[bastardofipswich]

uhhh men who exclusively like women and vice versa

[fiercestwarrior]

Ah. And "lmao"?

[bastardofipswich]

[ Ugh, OLD PEOPLE. Or space vikings, wev. ]

it's just a thing ppl say to mean they're laughing!

and before you ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ = a guy shrugging

[ ... ]

ppl = people

[fiercestwarrior]

So your assumption is that these garments are strictly meant to appeal to people of the "straight" persuasion?

[bastardofipswich]

my JOKE was that they looked like stuff horny guys would want to see girls in, not anything girls would get hot over. but what do i know!!

[ Answer: nothing, because he's still in high school. ]

[fiercestwarrior]

I think Val expressed a similar sentiment.

[bastardofipswich]

she's got the sexy underwear industry pegged

[fiercestwarrior]

Well. I wanted a distraction and I certainly got one.