trashvalkyrie: (44)
V A L K Y R I E ([personal profile] trashvalkyrie) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-12-27 10:58 am

video || un: scrapper142

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]


Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]
ikols: sunk but sinking (we're drunk but drinking)

[personal profile] ikols 2017-12-27 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
You have terrible taste in everything in this area, Sif. Swords you know, yet silky panties defy you in their slippery seduction. [ Sighing and pinching his brow. ] Also, push-up bras are a godsend and if I ever find out which one, I will gladly worship them. Try one on?
fiercestwarrior: (ew)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2017-12-27 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps because I have no interest in slippery seduction.

[ Most of the time, at least. ]

Why are you so fond of the bra?
ikols: if he's worth it (don't you worry)

[personal profile] ikols 2017-12-27 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, you've never seen my boobs. At some point you will, Sif, and on that day you will swoon at my curves! So much swoonage!
fiercestwarrior: (giggle)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2017-12-27 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose I have something to look forward to, then.
ikols: for another cup of wine (girl you got me thirsty)

[personal profile] ikols 2017-12-27 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Two somethings!
fiercestwarrior: (om nom)

[personal profile] fiercestwarrior 2017-12-27 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I expect to be astounded.