video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

text: un scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

How...

How is that even functional?

[Well, she has nothing better to do while recovering so...]

text; scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

ITS FUCKIN NOT

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[talentedscavenger]

Then why was it made?!

And why did you and Lady Sif buy it?!

[trashvalkyrie]

apparently for 'seduction'
and we only bought them because the rude woman inside wouldn't let us make our video unless we did

[talentedscavenger]

Seduction? How is that seductive?

How rude of the sales woman, for not letting you film and for not discouraging you from buying that.

[trashvalkyrie]

your guess is as good as mine, that's just what people are telling me up top

i mean to be fair its kind of her job to sell this shit

[talentedscavenger]

Think you'd have a better guess than me. Seduction was never a thing on Jakku. [At least as far as she's aware.]

Why would another women let someone else buy something that has no function beyond 'seduction'? Never mind, I don't want to know.

[trashvalkyrie]

...Capitalism, I'm pretty sure.

[talentedscavenger]

To hell with it.

[trashvalkyrie]

you said it

[talentedscavenger]

Exactly.

Surprised to see you found your way out of the ice maze.

[trashvalkyrie]

course i did
and i was drunk and happy when i did it too

[talentedscavenger]

Is there a reason why you drink so much?

text: un sif

[fiercestwarrior]

That is what we are attempting to find out.

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[talentedscavenger]

How can women want something that provides no support or anything vital?

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[fiercestwarrior]

As far as I can tell it seems to be a matter of... decoration, more than anything.

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[talentedscavenger]

If the intent is too be decorated in so little to look like a fool, mission accomplished.

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[fiercestwarrior]

It is all about sex, which typically does not involve much clothing anyway.

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[talentedscavenger]

If it's about that, then...why even buy clothes that'll just be taken off?

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[fiercestwarrior]

To please the eyes of one's lover, I suppose.

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[talentedscavenger]

I suppose...but it's not...for me.

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[fiercestwarrior]

Nor is it for me.

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[talentedscavenger]

Good to know.

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[fiercestwarrior]

I suppose it could be should you attempt to seduce me, though I find that unlikely.

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[talentedscavenger]

[..was that a joke?]

I'm not one to go around and seduce anyone.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't know what to do.