video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[scholiast]

(Sounds fake.)

Considering what I've heard of Asgard (ie she knows Loki is from there,) it surprises me that it's not more than 'not unheard of'. But okay, if you say so.

(And those without anything to get caught in it)

[trashvalkyrie]

the Asgard i come from is probably a little different from the one you've heard about

like, a couple millennia's worth of different

[scholiast]

Oh, no kidding.

(That's the case with her and Taako, Lup and Magnus. From the same place originally, but from different times while in Quarantine. So it has been happening with other people too.)

What is your Asgard like?

[trashvalkyrie]

ehhh

[HOW TO PUT THIS WITHOUT BEING DEPRESSING]

darker
more warlike
we hadn't embraced our more peaceful ways just yet

[#thankshela]

[scholiast]

Oh.

Does it give you some hope to know that in time it will right itself?

(It's a pretty small comfort if Asgard is millennia away from that point but...)

[trashvalkyrie]

kind of
or
it would if i hadnt just witnessed the destruction of the whole planet

but it's fine
asgard is a people not a place
and the people are safe

[scholiast]

(Oh, that's right. She's talked about this with Thor.)

My condolences on the loss of your planet.
This might sound strange but I've
I know what it's like, to watch that happen, and it isn't easy.

But I'm glad that your people are safe. You're right to take comfort over that.

[trashvalkyrie]

thanks
its a shit thing to be able to commiserate on but i appreciate it all the same

[scholiast]

Of course. I know that you don't know me, but if you ever want to just

I dunno, yell about it? Honestly, I'm game.

[trashvalkyrie]

thanks
if i ever need to yell i'll yell at you
im val by the way

[scholiast]

Perhaps give me a slight heads up before you start to yell, just so I know I've done nothing to offend. Other than that, you're golden 👌🏾

Lucretia. Hail, and well met.

[trashvalkyrie]

haha yeah no problem
least i can do


ditto

[scholiast]

Cheers. I'll see you around in that case, Val

& good luck with the lingerie. Watch your fingers if you're putting anything on with zips

[trashvalkyrie]

HA
yeah
will do