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[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

video;

[ex_jelmazmo599]

( She can't help but raise her eyebrows. )

I don't know why any woman would. Those scraps would have itched and worse in the heat of Essos. A hot, at times arid climate.

Where did you find those?

[trashvalkyrie]

[Val angles her camera up to show the storefront behind her.]

This den of iniquity.

[ex_jelmazmo599]

( Her lips press firmly together. )

How garish.

[trashvalkyrie]

Yeah. Mind you, I'm down for some iniquity, but not, like...butt floss iniquity.

[ex_jelmazmo599]

( Butt floss. Dany's lips purse and twitch upward, as she attempts to restrain a smile. It works, though mirth is alight in her eyes. )

And where are you from where the regular sort of iniquity is so commonplace?

[trashvalkyrie]

Not where I'm from so much as where I've been. A place called Sakaar. The whole place is just...a pit of orgies and blood sport and trash, basically.

[ex_jelmazmo599]

That could be several places in my world. It was a relief to leave Meereen and its fighting pits behind.

You have nowhere to call home? ( That strikes a chord in her. ) Neither did I.

[trashvalkyrie]

I did, once. It's gone now, though, so I can't exactly go back.

[Aaaand now she's here, so...she's good, she supposes. For the time being.]

[ex_jelmazmo599]

You have my condolences, lady. The homeland of my ancestors is gone, too.

( The Doom had seen to that; but it's hard to empathize when she has returned to Westeros, even if she's found it alien and far, far different than she'd imagined it to be in her dreams. )

Do any of your people remain?

[trashvalkyrie]

Thanks. That's rough.

[she's not great at condolences, even when she can completely empathize whoops]

Yeah, they're all safe. We got them out in time, but they're kind of in limbo until we can find a new home for everyone.

[ex_jelmazmo599]

It is.

( Dragonstone isn't the same, and neither is Westeros. )

Good; it's difficult, but I've found anywhere one's loved ones and people are can feel like 'home.'

[trashvalkyrie]

Yeah. That's a lesson we all sort of had to learn. And here...

[She shrugs.]

I've got enough people I know and like around to be getting on with.