video || un: scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[threatenwithcuteness]

Which is why sports bras exist. Or binders, those work really well but make you look flat like a boy.

[fiercestwarrior]

I do bind my breasts.

[ Though she has a feeling a binder is somewhat different to what she tends to do. ]

What are sports bras?

[threatenwithcuteness]

They're designed to be more comfortable to wear if you're being active, jogging, yoga, working out in the gym stuff. More durable than what you'd see in that shop you came from, and meant to keep breasts from moving too much.

Binders are, what's the proper term... compression vest? They do the same thing but are meant to really eliminate the bust entirely, flatten it all down. Not really a thing girls normally wear. But it'd probably do what you want a bit better than a sports bra.

[fiercestwarrior]

Thank you, that is most helpful.

[threatenwithcuteness]

I try to help, where I can. Clothes are a thing I know well.

[fiercestwarrior]

I would like to think I dress well enough in my own realm, but here...

[ She spreads her hands in a "what can you do" sort of gesture. ]

There is much I do not know.

[ As evidenced by the original post here. ]

[threatenwithcuteness]

I mean, it doesn't hurt to find out about other worlds and their fashions. See what works for you. My hair changes colors because I looked into what this place has.

Just... maybe start a little less extreme, than sexy lingerie. Even I don't do much with that and I care a whole lot about how I look and feel wearing clothes.

[fiercestwarrior]

Yes, this is not where I will begin any experimentation.