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[trashvalkyrie]

[This broadcast comes to you LIVE from outside a fancy lingerie shop, where Val and Sif are standing, both looking perplexed and a little...grumpy?

The shop employee wouldn’t let them film inside, so Val’s begrudgingly bought a few of the more offensive items on offer, purely for the purpose of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with people, y’all need Odin.

Nodding to Sif, she holds up a pair of lacy thong underwear. Her phone is propped up on a public mailbox so she can do this handsfree, waggling the offending garment in front of the camera.]

Right. What MAN decided this was a good idea? The whole point of underwear is to keep everything covered. This—this is a torture device.

And it gets worse. Sif? Show them the other thing.

[ Sif appears reluctant to even be touching the thing in her hand, but in the interest of getting some answers she is going to make the sacrifice. It’s another pair of panties, of course, this time with a zipper down the front. Said zipper gets opened, and Sif spreads the resulting hole out to really show it off to the camera.]

Is this supposed to be appealing? To anyone? These things barely exist to begin with, surely ease of access was never a problem big enough to warrant such a thing.

[Val nods emphatically.]

Fucking exactly. You guys had one job and you botched it. Not to mention— ‘push-up bras’? Why would I want to choke on my own tits? It’s completely unnecessary. If any of you have an explanation, please tell us. We want to have a good laugh about it.

[Sif simply nods at that, Val pretty much summed it all up right there.]

Comments

[trashvalkyrie]

Huh.

[She's just gonna twist around at that and get as good a view of her own behind as she can manage.]

Guess I could see that. [Val snorts.] We just wandered in there. We weren't expecting it to be harlot central inside.

[inlaid]

[Okay now she's going to laugh. Just a little.]

If you ever decide to look for lingerie there are better places to go, I think. More expensive, but higher quality garments. I think most of what you'll find in there was meant for novelty or...wasn't meant to last long anyway.

[She doesn't have to discuss the merits of ripping clothing, she assumes.]

[trashvalkyrie]

[Val wrinkles her nose.]

If I want to show off what I look like under my clothes to anyone, I'll just strip off in front of them like normal.

[inlaid]

That works too. [To each their own.] Some people prefer teasing with partial glimpses first, hence the lingerie. Don't ask me the psychology behind why people like it, they just do.

[trashvalkyrie]

I guess. I get it. It's just not my style.

[She shrugs her shoulders.]

Thanks for being honest, though. Didn't think I'd actually get a rational explanation.

[inlaid]

Well, to be fair your reactions were fairly rational as the last thing I want to wear against my crotch is a zipper. But it's not a problem. I'm sure there will be others ready to jump in and ask why you're waving all of that around on the public network.

[She grins.]

I'm Bryn, by the way.

[trashvalkyrie]

[She pulls a face.]

Prudes.

[The grin is returned, though, and Val tilts her chin upward in greeting.]

I'm Val. Is...is Bryn short for anything?

[She's getting some spooky echoes of her own name, is all.]

[inlaid]

[She shakes her head.]

Nice to meet you, Val. And no, not short for anything. One of my fathers is Aspurran and the first names are usually just one syllable. Is Val short for anything?

[trashvalkyrie]

Oh. Huh.

[Okay phew nevermind she doesn't have to worry about any alternate universe shenanigans here—]

Nnnope. Just Val.

[she's lying through her teeth but it's Fine]

[inlaid]

[Ahuh. Not sure she believes that but she's not about to pry.]

Val it is then. And I'll make the same offer to you that I did to Sif. If you want to get drinks sometime, first round is on me, okay?

[trashvalkyrie]

Yeah?

[She glances sidelong at Sif, gauging how good an idea it might be based on the sudden shift in the other warrior's mood, and then shrugs.]

Don't see why not. I have no quarrel with you.

[inlaid]

[Which of course begs the question, does someone else have a quarrel with her? Her smile doesn't fade but it's clear her expression is cautious.]

And I have no quarrel with anyone. On this moon, in any case.

[Back home, well, that's another story entirely.]

Let me know when a good day and time is, and I'll take you to my favorite bar.

[trashvalkyrie]

Good. Then we're square.

[She gives a Big Shrug. She's not really sure what Sif's deal is over there but she also doesn't know her well enough to ask.]

You're on.

[inlaid]

Until then, good luck with the shopping, and let me know if you need any recommendations for anything around the city. I've been here nearly a year now so I know my way fairly well.