video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

2/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

...you know what? you're welcome.

[trashvalkyrie]

that makes it EVEN BETTER
tell taako he was really working that pole

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh he knows it already. but i'll pass this along 😎

[trashvalkyrie]

yeah i bet he does
if it makes you feel any better though i think this is the kind of thing the whole world needs to see

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh a hundred percent, i think i was fated to post this to the network tbfh

yo, you're cool. how come we haven't met?

[trashvalkyrie]

see that's the thinking i wanna see

i dunno clearly you haven't been looking in the right places
i'm Val
i'm sure Taako has been going on and on about me

[spellslots]

Val! This is the Magnus dude I told you about

[at least he's 99% sure he told her about him]

[trashvalkyrie]

mmmmnot ringing a bell

[spellslots]

He's our punch guy!

[When they were discussing punch guys]

[trashvalkyrie]

OHHHH THE PUNCH GUY
yeah looking at him i can see why

[spellslots]

He's real good at it

Maybe not as good as you cause you guys kind of cheat by being like whatever the hell you are

[they're too stronk]

[trashvalkyrie]

fair enough
few people are as good at punching as asgardians
although i DID know a guy
one of thor's friends
very large

[spellslots]

Thor has a lot of friends and a lot of them are very large

[trashvalkyrie]

no no no
like
he's so big he's called ~The Incredible Hulk~
his fist is the size of my whole torso

[spellslots]

Oh I think Loki mentioned that dude

That's pretty big but I know a bug bear and they're fucking huge, Klarg can and has picked me up with one hand

[trashvalkyrie]

a bug bear
like
a bug the size of a bear
or

also side note who's the ghosty chick that looks just like you

[ohhmrburnsides]

actually yeah, he has mentioned you a few times! but i was like, really busy last month so i might not have been paying so much attention to him.
i'm his roommate slash best friend Magnus! i have muscles and i like to fight stuff!

[trashvalkyrie]

oh fuck that's awesome
i too have muscles and like to fight stuff
we should fight

[ohhmrburnsides]

I REALLY WANT TO SAY YES but taako almost died when he fought thor and i don't have any magic powers

.....fuck it i'm still down let's do it

[trashvalkyrie]

oh no its cool i don't have magic either i'm just really strong
just good old fashion punching

[ohhmrburnsides]

NICE NICE NICE NICE
good old fashion punching is so under-appreciated!! people need to learn to respect the punch!!

but yes i am so down for this punch-out i haven't had a good punch-out in YEARS

i'm hearing this in travis's voice and it's perfect

[trashvalkyrie]

yes exactly
like
look
i love guns
i love swords
theyre great
but nothing feels as good as just beating someone up with your own two fists

HIGH PRAISE... THANK YOU

[ohhmrburnsides]

guns are still a new concept to me and i dig 'em but, yeah. that good ol punching feeling? nothing can beat that.
man, all this talkin' about punchin' stuff has got me all geared up to punch stuff!! i'm gonna go outside and punch a tree RIGHT NOW

[trashvalkyrie]

shit
yeah
do it
take pics i wanna see the tree when youre done with it

[ohhmrburnsides]

shit hey i forgot here's the tree

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