video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

@scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

hahahahaha
holy fucking shit
this is amazing thank you for this blessing

@b.potts

[tutee]

not Lucretia, but this is BRILLIANT.

is Lup ok?

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

MAGNUS
YOU HIT THE WRONG BUTTON DUDE
YOU HIT THE WORST WRONG BUTTON YOU COULD'VE HIT

text: un scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

....I had no idea this type of dancing existed.

1/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh fuck this wasn't supposed to go out

2/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

...you know what? you're welcome.

1/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
hold on let me see if i can delete it

2/2 (a considerable amount of time later)

[ohhmrburnsides]

sorry bud i have no clue how to delete this i guess it's staying up

text @d.va

[bunnyhopped]

LOL

this is so embarrassing I love it

[trashvalkyrie]

that makes it EVEN BETTER
tell taako he was really working that pole

[franciscoramon]

it's too late
can't put that genie back in the bottle
no point in taking it down now
i'm ruined

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh he knows it already. but i'll pass this along 😎

[trashvalkyrie]

yeah i bet he does
if it makes you feel any better though i think this is the kind of thing the whole world needs to see

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh a hundred percent, i think i was fated to post this to the network tbfh

yo, you're cool. how come we haven't met?

[ohhmrburnsides]

aw dude, you're not ruined. you're an awesome dancer!
own it.
celebrate it.
the world needs to see your moves, cisco.

[ohhmrburnsides]

didn't mean to post this... oops!
yeah she's okay lmao, she just lost herself in the dance.

...get it

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

look away
shield your eyes

[franciscoramon]

the world did not need to see my moves, magnus!!!
the world did not need to see any of that!!!
there will be no owning and no celebrating!!!
any time you're within 50 feet of me doing anything mildly embarrassing from now on i'm setting off a goddamn emp

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

et tu, hana?

Private text

[talentedscavenger]

I can't...I honestly can't.

Did you show these moves to Eddie?

1/2

[franciscoramon]

this is a nightmare
i'm having a nightmare right now and this conversation isn't really happening

2/2

[franciscoramon]

when eddie sees this he is going to pull a muscle laughing

1/2

[talentedscavenger]

Well..at least you're on beat and you seem to be having fun.

2/2

[talentedscavenger]

How about you and I go get something to eat and ignore the rest of the network.

I'm sure it'll blow over.

And more than anything Taako is more captivating to watch. [Not really, but she's saying it to make him feel better.]

[ohhmrburnsides]

aw come oooooon, this was a one-time thing! i won't do it again, promise!!
okay you know what, i concede. this was my bad and i own that. you now have permission to get back at me. a free pass to INTENTIONALLY post a certified Embarrassing Magnus Moment. and you see tons of those, so.