video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

@scrapper142

[trashvalkyrie]

hahahahaha
holy fucking shit
this is amazing thank you for this blessing

1/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh fuck this wasn't supposed to go out

2/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

...you know what? you're welcome.

@b.potts

[tutee]

not Lucretia, but this is BRILLIANT.

is Lup ok?

[ohhmrburnsides]

didn't mean to post this... oops!
yeah she's okay lmao, she just lost herself in the dance.

...get it

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

MAGNUS
YOU HIT THE WRONG BUTTON DUDE
YOU HIT THE WORST WRONG BUTTON YOU COULD'VE HIT

1/2

[ohhmrburnsides]

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
hold on let me see if i can delete it

2/2 (a considerable amount of time later)

[ohhmrburnsides]

sorry bud i have no clue how to delete this i guess it's staying up

text: un scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

....I had no idea this type of dancing existed.

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

look away
shield your eyes

text @d.va

[bunnyhopped]

LOL

this is so embarrassing I love it

@ciscodelamancha | text

[franciscoramon]

et tu, hana?

text; gypsygirl

[likeacoupon]

Is this what people do for fun around here?

[ohhmrburnsides]

It's what WE do for fun, but we're not exactly the best examples of the average Riverview citizen, lmao. We've been known to make some poor decisions. (Mostly me.)

text; un: feywild

[imperceptus]

[ Internally: screaming. Awful. Terrible. Why.

Externally: ]

Well. Nice to see you're all having fun :)

[spellslots]

They tricked me into exercising :(

[Because clearly this is the part of this worth mentioning.]

text; @altin

[bringbackgold]

Ah...

@fromtv

[spellslots]

Use your words, pumpkin

text; @chronicler

[scholiast]

(Lucretia isn't even surprised by this, like, this is basically just another fucking Tuesday for her.)

Magnus, you know that I love this, deeply, but I think you might have hit public instead of private

[ohhmrburnsides]

whoops! now i guess all of riverview has to see this!

.....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@polaris

[polarising]

so this is what it looks like when people give up on trying to escape?
good to know.

@fromtv

[spellslots]

This is what happens when 3 babes take a pole dancing class but I mean sure, we're just chilling until the portal does its thing

@sparrow; text

[flowlikewater]

[ Wow, memories of his early twenties... ]

You should probably find out a way to delete this, since I doubt this was intentional.

@fromtv

[spellslots]

And fucking deprive everyone of the gift we've given them? No way

text; k. page

[paged]

10/10 would definitely watch again

@fromTV

[spellslots]

Thank you for having a correct opinion

text; un: stranger. things

[potentialed]

Should we expect more quality content like this in the future?

[ohhmrburnsides]

What I should say is, no, this was an accident, I don't typically post embarrassing videos of my friends on the sly.

That's what I should say.

@d.pavus

[tevinteraltus]

Oh, my.
I'm certain most of this exists beyond contextually for me, but still, I can follow.
I'm curious, though. Do you doubt your dancing prowess? I feel deprived, though I won't soon forget what I've seen. I'll cherish it forever.

[ohhmrburnsides]

I tried a few times, but failed. Like, bad. I kind of feel bad that there isn't an embarrassing video of me up on the pole, but I'm also very grateful. At least all of them look good doing it.

text; @star.lord

[nostalgiabomb]

Ask them to consider doing this song next

[ Attached: 1 horrible '80s video with the incomparable Olivia Newton-John. ]

@fromTV

[spellslots]

That sure is fucking something

We could make it work

» text, un: stormborn

[jelmazmo]

Is this what passes for entertainment here?

( It's strange, and the music is awful. Just. Why. )

@fromTV

[spellslots]

It's called art, actually

@wingingit ; video

[volitaunt]

[ APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER. ]

But the important question: do you do parties.

video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

[Taako is currently chilling at home, since the video was taken a little while ago, but he uses mage hand to hold the camera so he can bow for Poe's applause.]

If the price is right.

[wink]

@lightemup

[umbrastaff]

Aw Maggie
this is amazing

[ohhmrburnsides]

what can i say? the the best creations are often accidents