video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

[ohhmrburnsides]

actually yeah, he has mentioned you a few times! but i was like, really busy last month so i might not have been paying so much attention to him.
i'm his roommate slash best friend Magnus! i have muscles and i like to fight stuff!

[trashvalkyrie]

oh fuck that's awesome
i too have muscles and like to fight stuff
we should fight

[ohhmrburnsides]

I REALLY WANT TO SAY YES but taako almost died when he fought thor and i don't have any magic powers

.....fuck it i'm still down let's do it

[trashvalkyrie]

oh no its cool i don't have magic either i'm just really strong
just good old fashion punching

[ohhmrburnsides]

NICE NICE NICE NICE
good old fashion punching is so under-appreciated!! people need to learn to respect the punch!!

but yes i am so down for this punch-out i haven't had a good punch-out in YEARS

i'm hearing this in travis's voice and it's perfect

[trashvalkyrie]

yes exactly
like
look
i love guns
i love swords
theyre great
but nothing feels as good as just beating someone up with your own two fists

HIGH PRAISE... THANK YOU

[ohhmrburnsides]

guns are still a new concept to me and i dig 'em but, yeah. that good ol punching feeling? nothing can beat that.
man, all this talkin' about punchin' stuff has got me all geared up to punch stuff!! i'm gonna go outside and punch a tree RIGHT NOW

[trashvalkyrie]

shit
yeah
do it
take pics i wanna see the tree when youre done with it

[ohhmrburnsides]

shit hey i forgot here's the tree

[attachment.jpg]

[trashvalkyrie]

holy FUCK

[Congratulations, Magnus Burnsides. You successfully impressed a Valkyrie.]

nailed it

[ohhmrburnsides]

there's a chance it may have been rotting before i got to it and it may have taken me a few hours but you bet your ass cha boy did this with his bare hands

[trashvalkyrie]

ok but still
most humans couldnt even put a dent in it with their bare hands
you are a human right?
or are you like half orc or something

[ohhmrburnsides]

100% human
at least i'm pretty sure

... no yeah i'm a full human strongboy! i can't use magic but i sure can throw a punch!

[trashvalkyrie]

ahahhaa
youre hilarious
i like you

[ohhmrburnsides]

the feeling's mutual!

[trashvalkyrie]

fucking nice
catch you later magnet