video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

[spellslots]

Oh I think Loki mentioned that dude

That's pretty big but I know a bug bear and they're fucking huge, Klarg can and has picked me up with one hand

[trashvalkyrie]

a bug bear
like
a bug the size of a bear
or

also side note who's the ghosty chick that looks just like you

[spellslots]

More like imagine a bear cross an orc, if you know what an orc is

That's Lup! My shitty sister

[trashvalkyrie]

oh sure now i see what you mean

anyway
what the fuck since when do you have a sister
a hot sister

[spellslots]

Since literally the day we were both born, she's only got a couple minutes on me

I'm the hot one, thank you very much

[trashvalkyrie]

hmmm
yeah sorry gonna have to disagree

[why is he friends with her she's such a dick]

[spellslots]

That's acceptable if you're only into chicks

Otherwise we literally have the same face how can she be hotter

[trashvalkyrie]

because you're not into chicks
as you put it
so clearly you're off the table for me
thus your sister is hotter
sorry i don't make the rules

[spellslots]

[That's sound logic, but also:]

Okay but if I was on the table I'd be hot?

[HE'S SO VAIN]

[trashvalkyrie]

well yeah obviously
im not blind

[spellslots]

Thank you
Fair warning Lup's off the table too she's in a committed relationship with a chubby middle aged nerd

[He loves Barry]

[trashvalkyrie]

ugggghhh okay fair enough
thanks for the heads up
is anyone around here NOT in a stable relationship

[spellslots]

Magnus isn't!

[trashvalkyrie]

really?
punch guy?
of all people
huh

private

[spellslots]

[because he's.... not advertising this fact]

We were kinda fooling around before I started seeing Rin and he's been on some dates but I don't think he's super interested in any kinda long term thing

private

[trashvalkyrie]

oh shit really
you little minx

i mean hey that's a good way to be

private

[spellslots]

We'd been doing it back on the Starblaster so we just picked it up again

[It has always been an equal parts easy and complicated thing. They're family, Taako doesn't have to fret about losing Magnus the way he does with other people, but Magnus also... cares too much and too hard.]

It's pretty smart. Lup's dude is from our world but me and Luce are both ✨ idiots ✨

[trashvalkyrie]

its an easy enough thing to do

luce?
you mean lucretia?
you guys both wifed up huh

[spellslots]

[He is gripped by SHEER PANIC]

I didn't wife up, fuck

[trashvalkyrie]

calm down it's not that deep

[spellslots]

Listen

[this is fine he's fine]

It's just like, a thing, whatever
Anyway yeah Magnus is single and ready to mingle if you're into big beefy dudes with the heart of a golden retriever
Metaphorically not a literal heart that's more Barry's deal

[trashvalkyrie]

[SHE'S OVER HERE ROLLING HER EYES but she'd probably be acting just as cagey if the roles were reversed]

wait like
his heart is literally a dog heart

[spellslots]

I said metaphorically

[trashvalkyrie]

magnus yeah
but what about this barry guy

[spellslots]

Oh he's a necromancer, who knows what weird dead things he's got floating around

[TAAKO YOU CANT JUST ACCUSE SOMEONE OF HAVING DOG HEARTS ON HAND]