video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

@fulcrum; text

[seditionist]

How does the old and powerful witch know what their intentions are?

[spellslots]

The powerful part?

There's kind of a limited amount of shit I could ask her, but the spell itself guarantees truth. If she hadn't known, she would've said so.

[seditionist]

[He's not really sure whether or not he believes in this. But...]

Well, that sounds logical. As much as it can.

[spellslots]

[New favourite person right here.]

Not used to magic?

[He's getting used to expecting that, at this point.]

[seditionist]

I wouldn't call it magic, but there's something powerful, like that, at home.

[spellslots]

What would you call it?

[He's curious.]

[seditionist]

The Force. Heard of it?

[spellslots]

Afraid not, sorry. Is it like a religion thing?

[seditionist]

That depends on who you ask.

[spellslots]

I mean, I'm asking you, my dude

[seditionist]

It's not a religion I follow. I can't use the Force.

[spellslots]

Sounds kinda like clerics and paladins, they use divine magic from their gods