entry_info={ .01 span:ARRIVAL, engage:VIDEO }, username=stark.naked

[amelioraate]

[ The look on Tony's face as the feed clicks on is clearly unamused. Possibly even Unamused, capital and all. Why is he so irritated you might ask? Well, don't you worry about that, he is bound to let you know. As soon as he finishes sipping on his coffee in a more than obnoxious way. If you look close enough, and know Tony, you will be able to see a darkness beneath his eyes, the kind that comes with too much coffee and too many ideas and not enough hours in the day, so clearly he has to sacrifice some of the night for the Greater Good or some shit.

Whatever. That is why there is coffee.

Once the coffee has been consumed, Tony gets up from where he is sitting, and it becomes very obvious that he is in the kitchen on the floor, a kitchen you have all seen thanks to a Viking, but there is no sign of him now. However, there are signs of someone making a rather large breakfast here (if only you could smell it, seriously, Tony would kill to eat some of it okay) and not sharing.

This? This is why Tony is unamused.]

Really, you come in here, use the space and leave the dishes, while also not sharing?

[ Steve is gonna be annoyed. Not that he isn't usually in that state. The images shifts as Tony puts the phone down, and there is the sound of more coffee making its way into his cup while you get a lovely view of the ceiling. Look, no scorch marks. Yet.]

That's just rude, even for gods of chaos and mischief. And here I was going to make you a fancy partial AI for your phone. Ha.

[ Look, he doesn't know if it was Loki, but he assumes it is. Because if it was Steve or Bucky they would have shared, and he is pretty sure that Stephen only eats things that are still moving, and Billy-- well maybe him too. But for now, his ire is on Loki.]

Also, working on some ideas for the defence perimeter, some new weapons and targeting systems, if there is anyone that has any ideas, let me know. I mean, I've probably already thought of it, but still might be nice to bounce ideas around.

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video » un: LOKIOFASGARD

[ikols]

[ Look who is outside and loving life and definitely not squatting on a kitchen floor like a technopath loser. ]

It's way past morning. Hasn't anyone tidied up yet? [ No, it doesn't matter that it's Loki's mess. Don't you people have standards? Do you want to live in squalor? ] Someone needs to rinse off the oven tray, most importantly. That thing is loaded in grease.

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[amelioraate]

[ SCOWLING. Yeah, he thought it was you.]

I just got in, so that depends on how you view morning there, godling.

[ NOISILY SIPPING COFFEE WHILE GLARING AT YOU. Seriously, he might be able to handle the mess if you, you know, shared, but you are apparently more of a jerk than he thought and didn't do that so.]

Pretty sure Steve has a chore list somewhere, and people who make messes are supposed to clean them up. Otherwise you might find grease loaded oven trays under your covers.

[ikols]

Even the All-Father didn't dole out chore lists. What makes you think I'll adhere to the Captain's?

[ YOU AIN'T HIS DAD. ]

[amelioraate]

[ THANK ODIN FOR THAT, you are a walking advertisement for condoms you shit.]

Because he's Steve and he has weird powers that make people listen to him even when you really don't want to. It's the eyebrows, it's gotta be the eyebrows.

[ikols]

[ Like you aren't adopted too now, oooh. ]

At least if Captain America's eyebrows get singed off while he's sleeping, now we'll all know where to point the finger.

[amelioraate]

[ Wow, W O W. Thanks for that. At least both his adopted parents wanted him. And his real mother did too so NEYH. ]

Uh, he's not Cap right now, that's Bucky. I mean-- wait, can I tell people that? Does it even matter here? Whatever, and even if they did vanish, he would probably draw them back on in a permanently disappointed look.

[ikols]

[ Mentally hoping all wifi gets cut off but only in Tony's head. ]

He's obviously not the geriatric Rogers that I last saw on Genosha alongside you, so, yeah, it hardly matters. What is this, did you just namedrop me without the name because my mess made you hungry?

[amelioraate]

[ He doesn't have wifi in his head right now, so you'd loose it too, jerk.

Have an eyebrow furrow there, because he hates multiverses so much sometimes wow.]

Uh, no. No he is not. And I didn't--

[ Tony snaps his mouth shut, sips his coffee and glowers a little bit. Yeah, maybe that is exactly why he name dropped you.]

Not the mess, that annoys me. Smells good though.

[ THATS AS CLOSE TO AN ADMISSION AS YOU WILL GET FROM HIM. ]

[ikols]

Tasted good, too.

[amelioraate]

[ HEAVY SIGH.]

This is all natural for you isn't it? Being pointedly obnoxious. Like, I want to be impressed but--

[ikols]

I would have doled out a plate for whoever was up at the same time, but no one was or you just weren't around. [ Maybe he is being pointedly obnoxious, but. ] That's not my fault! Don't tar me with your brush of lax bacon-grilling, I made loads.

[ Truth: he labelled two sandwiches in the fridge as WICCAN'S GRUB. ]

[amelioraate]

So you're saying that if I was around you would have shared. [ It's not that he doesn't believe you, but...] Do you eat as much as the super soldiers can? Like, are we going to have to overstock the fridge with food because we have a god, two super soldiers, and two sorcerers? Like, there is me and the other two normalish people but...

[ This could be a logistic nightmare.]

[ikols]

I'm saying you weren't, so as we say in Asgardia, 'with it you shouldst moste verily deal'.

[ Rolling his eyes, ugh. ]

You really are making a mountain out of an elven nipple.

[amelioraate]

I am not going to comment on nipples just yet, but excuse me for not wanting people to starve.

[ He can go without a decent amount compared to most. Maybe. They are going to find out at some point probably. ]

[ikols]

Yelling at my messes, petitioning me for my preferred grocery list ... Have you finally stopped waxing that 'tache, mom?

[amelioraate]

[ Tony opens his mouth, then snaps it shut, glaring. ]

That is actually an old joke, but you tried I guess.

[ikols]

No, those are actual things the All-Mother does. Although, it was a joke too.

[amelioraate]

...clearly, she didn't yell enough, because seriously, this is one hell of a mess. I am not kidding when I say it will end up in your bed, godling. Steve, hell, even Bucky, are both sticklers for things being neat.

[ikols]

The day you put anything in a bed of mine is a day upon which that bed burns, unwanted additions included.

[ He isn't usually messy, it's simply easier to leave the sticklers to angst over the washing up until they cave and do it. ]

I'm bored with this prattling over dishes. Do you hear yourself? Is this what goes down on a wild Saturday night in your clubhouse tower? Discussion of the chore list. Perhaps renaming yourself the Iron Whiner would better fit your talent for doing it on behalf of other people before they even get the chance.

[amelioraate]

Awww, Loki, you are so sweet.

[ Yeah well, you are trying to out-stubborn a lot of really stubborn assholes, so unless Steve caves, or one of the others, those dishes are staying there.

And don't you dare sweet talk Billy into doing them.]

Yeah well the only other thing to discuss is the perimeter of this place and you've already proven that you're kind of useless for those types of jobs so, treating you like the teenager you seem hellbent on acting like comes first.

[ikols]

[ Billy is such a good boy. So good. He'll hopefully clean it up out of second-hand shame over his once-friend embarrassing him around the Big Leagues. ]

Just because you haven't come along for the ride isn't to say I've been doing Frigga-all.

[amelioraate]

[ Hopefully Tony will be able to talk Billy out of that and Billy can give Loki a talk about responsibilities and shit because god knows, it would be terrible coming from Tony of all people.]

Did you just pun at me using your mother's name? Seriously? Also, if that is true, you can help develop shit for the defence perimeter. I know you're fucking smart, so you've given that away already.

[ikols]

That sounds an awful lot like undertaking a job. I'm done with those.

[amelioraate]

Would it please you more if I phrased it as a quest?

[ EYEROLLING ]

[ikols]

I'm not a LARPer.

[ But there's a 70% chance it would help, yes. ]