video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[spellslots]

[This is too much fun he's dying.]

It totally does, the only person who can tell me what to do is my dad and he's suuuuper dead so you're just shit outta luck, my dude

[spellslots]

[He's so charmed by this weird girl, Taako gives her a grin and a little wave.]

See you around, pumpkin.

[eyeforaneye]

[ HE DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE... ]

Anyone can tell you anything, that includes me. If you do whatever you like and endanger others, though, eventually I'll pay you a visit. Just be careful.

[spellslots]

Are you threatening me? Please say yes this is getting funnier by the second.

[eyeforaneye]

Not yet. Have you always executed your spells successfully?

[spellslots]

Well, no cause then I'd be a fucking god, not a wizard.

But don't worry too much, pumpkin, the backfire's always on me.

[Maybe not every spell, but there's not a whole lot of spells he has that can go wrong in a way that would hurt other people.]

[signifies]

They haven't said no to us yet.

[spellslots]

That'd kinda ruin the whole 'nice and welcoming' thing they got going on.

[He might be happy to say that the locals aren't evil or anything, but that doesn't mean he totally trusts them.]

[signifies]

At least we know now they don't have malicious intentions.

[spellslots]

[There was something else that the witch said, and he hesitates for a moment, not sure if it really matters, but it can't hurt.]

She suggest that intentions don't matter. Not sure if she was just kinda being witchy and ominous or if that was a warning.

[signifies]

How about both?

[spellslots]

Real productive day for both of us, huh?

[He doesn't like you, Jamie.]

[spellslots]

Could be both.

I'm starting to think divination would've been a lot more fucking useful of a school than transmutation

[amelioraate]

Does it? You one of the magic is a science or magic is a mystic arts kind of guy?

[ Look, magic is a part of life for him, it just so happens that all the people that he knows that use magic are assholes (see, Loki and Stephen Strange). You can't really blame him okay.

He also, as a scientist, kind hates magic on principle. ]

1/3

[eyeforaneye]

You're saying that like I should know the differences, but "wizards" aren't a well-known entity where I'm from.

2/3

[eyeforaneye]

3/3

[eyeforaneye]

And I'm not your pumpkin.

[ thank you jesus ]

❝ voice ❞ — id: muckraker

[contacts]

[ taako will have to forgive lois' scepticism. she's willing to believe that magic is real, given that aliens are and she's currently in a whole new universe, but - ]

The spirit of an old and powerful witch told you the people here aren't evil?

[ right. ]

What kind of spell is this? Could you tell me more about it?

[howlongiwonder]

[2B turns off the video feed, the delayed reaction hitting only a second later.]

Pumpkin?

[She blinks, confused and a little flustered.]

[spellslots]

That's about it, yup.

[The phrasing of the question - more curious than outright dismissive - stops him from getting immediately annoyed the way he did with Tony, at least. But he's still not used to people who are so skeptical of magic.]

It's a divination ritual, long and short of it is that I like, open my mind to powerful spirits or entities that are, uh... nearby, I guess? But in like a metaphysical sense, they don't have to be floating around next to me, ya feel? The spell itself stops 'em from lying, but I only get real short answers. That's kinda the trade off.

un: ghostking

[deathkid]

No spell is perfect, and unless you have the ability to exert your will over the dead, they can still deceive you.

What evidence do you have that the witch wasn't lying beside how your spell supposedly works?

[spellslots]

I mean, how the spell works is how the spells works.

[He doesn't really... understand the question. It's an integral part of the spell that the truth is told (because usually the DM is the one answering).]

There's no option where it only half works, either it does or it doesn't, and it did. Up to you whether you believe me or not, I give no shits.

[deathkid]

[ it's probably due to the difference in mediums. godly powers work differently and that's all nico is truly familiar with. ]

Yeah, but how does it work? Was it one spell to raise or summon her and get the truth from her?

[spellslots]

It's divination, not necromancy. Didn't really summon or raise her, more like made a mental phone call and she decided to pick up.

[Divination isn't his area of expertise: he'd copied the spell into his spellbook back in the Bureau, but doesn't know the intricacies of how it works, just that it does.]

Could be that anything trying to lie would've done damage to me, that was a risk of the spell.

[spellslots]

[He doesn't really understand the question, sorry Tony.]

You can use magic in science and science in magic, but they're not the same thing? Magic's just there, same way air or water is. Are you from one of those places where only super special assholes can use magic?

[This seems to be part of shaping people's attitudes towards magic, if it's something that's cut off from most people.]