video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[spellslots]

Sooo you don't know anything about wizards and yet here you are tryna lecture me about how I should be using my magic

[Nevermind that "be careful" is pretty general across the board.]

[contacts]

[ half a year ago, lois would have said it's all nonsense. aliens, magic, different universes — science might have something to say in theory about the latter, the existence of aliens might be statistically likely, but beyond that? no.

now, things are very different and she's willing to keep a more open mind. that doesn't mean she's just going to take anyone's word for it. he could just be a deranged individual, but she's not excluding the possibility that he's right. ]

And you're confident in this magic? That it works the same way here?

[ but also: ] How much experience do you have with it? Magic.

[signifies]

I wouldn't know about that. Transmutation is very practical.

[ He can see Taako being more into it that divination. ]

[spellslots]

So far so good! Things are a little different just cause the planes aren't exactly the same here but nothing's gone horribly wrong so you know, I'm staying positive!

[At some point he's going to remember more of his life and actually know stuff about inter-dimensional travel, but right now he's just a simple wizard.]

And yeah, I mean, I'm a wizard? Been doing this whole magic thing for about a decade, give or take.

[spellslots]

I guess I'm kinda missing Merle. He's a cleric, so he usually handled all this shit, he'd know what to do.

If he ever shows up here and you tell him I said that I will end you.

[signifies]

Yes, O great and mighty Taako :)

[contacts]

My world doesn't have wizards, at least not outside of fiction. What makes one a wizard, in your book?

[signifies]

[ Joking aside. ]

What does Merle look like? I'll keep an ear out for him.

[spellslots]

It's totally the hat.

[No, sorry, he huffs a little laugh because look, he's kind of incapable of taking most things seriously, but he will answer her question.]

Magic is shit you can learn, its not some innate power or what have you. Anyone can be a wizard if they try hard enough, cause there's magic in everything, right? It's always there, like air. All we do is learn how to see it and shape it to our needs.

[spellslots]

Has anyone told you lately that you're an asshole?

[Mocking his poor wizard friend :( so cruel :(]

Merle's a dwarf. Most exciting thing about him is the soul-wood arm.

[That's a sentence that makes sense]

[signifies]

[ What happened to "one of the nicest guys around", Taako? ]

Does it have a unique sound?

[spellslots]

[What happened to shut the hell your mouth]

I mean.... it's an arm made from living wood? I've never got in real close and listened to it.

Oh shit, he's also missing an eye now, forgot that one. Can't really listen for that but he's pretty fucking obvious if you see him.

[signifies]

[ MAKE HIM ]

I'll be on the lookout.

Thanks again for doing this.

[spellslots]

[Don't forget who's weak to magic!!!!]

Well hey, don't get me wrong, this shit is at least ninety percent self-interest

[By which he of course means "I'm not going to admit I ever do anything that's not out of self-interest"]

[signifies]

At least :)

[spellslots]

Did you know I can curse people :)

[signifies]

I think you'd have to be creative with me :)

[ he doesn't know it will hurt. go easy on him Taako :( ]

[spellslots]

Don't tell me you're immune to magic or some shit.

[signifies]

Honestly I don't know. Nothing has hurt me so far.

If it exists, it's in my future.

[spellslots]

[He can't imagine living like that.]

You know, and I swear I'm not saying this cause I wanna kick your ass, but maaaaybe you should find out?

[Just saying. Better to figure it out now, rather than in a life or death situation. Taako's not the only person who can use magic.]

[signifies]

[ He isn't the only one. Clark would never assume anyone else who could use this power would be as charitable to him as Taako. ]

You're right.

Where and when should I meet you?

[spellslots]

[The ease of Clark's response surprises him; he's used to training with Merle and Magnus, even the other Bureau members sometimes, but usually he doesn't actually cast spells at them.]

If it's a toss up between hanging out with you and answering questions from dumbasses you're gonna win out, my dude.

[He has some regrets about this announcement tbh]

So I'm free whenever, is what I'm saying. And somewhere with a little open space and privacy. The forest would work, I got a spell to keep anyone from stumbling on us.

[signifies]

I have a campsite we can use.

I'll meet you there this afternoon. Say around five?

[spellslots]

Of course you do.

Five works for me, I'll bring sandwiches :)

[He's actually a tiny little bit nervous about this, now, but Clark doesn't need to know that.]

[contacts]

[ there's a huff of breath at lois' end of the line, almost a laugh. she's still not convinced he isn't just deranged, but at least he's got a sense of humour. ]

So you could teach me magic?

[ she's not actually interested in learning it so much as she's interested in proof that what he's saying is the truth. ]