text; un: worstwitch

[bastardofipswich]

M4M SEEKING: NEW ARCH-ENEMY
18yo swm in search of new arch-enemy!! i took a 3 month long nap and my old one left the city with his gf :(

must be:

• male
  
• ages 17-21
  
• btwn 5'10" - 6'3"
  
• athletic
  
• able to take a beating
  
• magic OR otherwise superpowered
  
• annoyingly moral
  
• bicuriosity a plus
  

it would also help if you had an annoying group of friends i could use as leverage against you. interested parties can get in touch with Chase Collins @worstwitch!!


ps: pls include a headshot

Comments

text; un: pc.grant

[thestarling]

Can you really hire an archenemy?

[bastardofipswich]

i like to think of it more as... putting out a personal ad
looking for the opposite of love!

[thestarling]

So you're looking for someone to fight you, essentially.

[bastardofipswich]

yeah but like
on a long term basis!
and exclusive
can't cheat on me with another enemy

[thestarling]

Forgive the obvious question, but why?

[bastardofipswich]

bc a guy needs a hobby

[thestarling]

Fair enough. Just try not to tear up too much of the place while you're at it.

[bastardofipswich]

i can't make that promise! you never know how much stuff is gonna blow up when magic's involved

[thestarling]

[That's kind of true, actually. Especially when Peter's involved. Still, he feels like he has to take some kind of stance here.]

Exactly how many things are you planning on exploding?

[bastardofipswich]

i can try to keep it under five explosions
but no promises...

[ Okay, okay, he's not actually planning on blowing things up. AND IF HE KNEW HE WAS TALKING TO A COP, HE WOULDN'T BE JOKING LIKE THIS. ]

[thestarling]

No damage to anyone else and you can blow up the abandoned city as much as you like.

[...probably. Peter's not actually sure how much authority he has there, but it sounds good.]

[bastardofipswich]

wait
seriously?

[ THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AWESOME DEAL. ]

[thestarling]

You've seen the crocodiles and such out there, right? Explode them to your heart's content.

[bastardofipswich]

......crocodiles
there are crocodiles?

i'm from new england i'm not going near any crocodiles

[thestarling]

I thought you wanted a good fight?

[bastardofipswich]

against another person! not a dinosaur that managed to beat extinction!
do i look like paul hogan to you?

[thestarling]

Oh come on, they can't be that scary. Think of it as practice.

[bastardofipswich]

crocodiles
bears
hippos

those are the three animals i'm NEVER going to fuck with

[thestarling]

That's a very specific list.

[bastardofipswich]

i like to call it a sensible one

would YOU fuck with any of those?

[thestarling]

I'm from London, mate, we don't exactly do wildlife.

[bastardofipswich]

i'm just saying
i've never SEEN any crocodiles, bears, or hippos outside of a zoo before
but i can still respect how freaky they are

[thestarling]

Pretty sure I've seen worse. Worst thing a bear can do is eat you.

[bastardofipswich]

oh yeah? what's the worst you've seen?

[thestarling]

I'm police. Do you really want to know?