text; un: worstwitch

[bastardofipswich]

M4M SEEKING: NEW ARCH-ENEMY
18yo swm in search of new arch-enemy!! i took a 3 month long nap and my old one left the city with his gf :(

must be:

• male
  
• ages 17-21
  
• btwn 5'10" - 6'3"
  
• athletic
  
• able to take a beating
  
• magic OR otherwise superpowered
  
• annoyingly moral
  
• bicuriosity a plus
  

it would also help if you had an annoying group of friends i could use as leverage against you. interested parties can get in touch with Chase Collins @worstwitch!!


ps: pls include a headshot

Comments

[bastardofipswich]

don't you have a plucky sidekick for the job?

[ AN AGE-APPROPRIATE HERO TRAINEE TO STAND IN FOR YOU. ]

no one's REALLY clicking in that 'one true enemy for life' way
siiiiiigh
guess i'm destined to live a conflict free life...

[ He's so deprived without Caleb.

ANYWAY: ]

no closer to making your great escape huh?

[volitaunt]

what, you mean bb-8? come to think of it, didn't you two kind of have the nemesis thing going already?


yeah, still stuck. but hey, there's even MORE people from my universe here now!

[ Can u detect the sarcasm in his happiness ]

[bastardofipswich]

it was just a TINY nemesis thing! give him my love <3

more friends or more enemies?

[ HE CAN SENSE IT. ]

[volitaunt]

i won't tell you what he said in reply

six of one, half dozen of the other. well, no, just one more enemy, but he's a REALLY ANNOYING one.

[bastardofipswich]

[ BB-8 NO. LOVE HIM. ]

more annoying than felicia?? say it ain't so!

[volitaunt]

[ UR HIS TINY DROID NEMESIS CHASE ]

felicia can be entertaining at least

[ God he's just not going to think about meeting Ben. It's too much right now on top of everything. ]

this guy is all about bureaucracy, as long as he's in charge of it. the kind of guy who's good at giving orders that hurt people and too chicken to do it himself.

[bastardofipswich]

he sounds like an evil percy weasley
like
he REALLY needs to get shoved in a locker

[volitaunt]

or out of an airlock

so did you actually take a three month nap, or was that sarcasm-speak for something else?

[bastardofipswich]

what's his name?

[ So he knows who this FASCIST NERD is. ]

idk the last thing i remember was going to bed here
then i came out of the portal again and it was 3 months later!
so stupid

[ SEE, WITH TEXT, HE CAN HIDE HOW UNSETTLING HE FINDS IT. Since, you know, he's dead. Blipping out of existence for three months is triggering one hell of an existential crisis. ]

[volitaunt]

armitage hux~

i call him general hugs. he loves it.

[ That is fuckin unsettling bruh. ]

that's

[ fuckin unsettling ]

weird

[bastardofipswich]

[ GENERAL HUGS? Poe...

This is why he thinks you're cool as hell. That's the kind of trolling that's right up his alley. ]

ok but to be fair to him
wouldn't you go bad with a name like that

[ YEAH. IT'S. SUPER FUCKING UNSETTLING. ]

yeah it was weird as hell
anyway i'm glad to be back
even if some guy's trying to make me finish high school

[volitaunt]

hmm, never thought of that

pretty sure he practices the whole villainous grandstanding thing in the mirror though. he might just like it.

i'm with some guy. if we as old people had to do it you as a young person should suffer too.

[bastardofipswich]

hey don't knock it!
can you imagine anything worse than giving your big bad speech and messing it up halfway through?

ughhhhh
fyi this is why we young people wind up putting you old people in homes

[volitaunt]

it's never as impressive as they think it is.

you have to catch us first.