spellslots: DNT (I know I've got a big ego)
Taako ([personal profile] spellslots) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-07-16 01:00 am

video; @fromTV

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]
500gallontank: (thinking too hard)

[personal profile] 500gallontank 2017-07-15 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
protesting a bit much, aren't you
?

wasn't going to ask. don't care. don't want you to think I'd volunteer.


so how does your fucking sister see your dick
? that something *you* get off on,

weirdo


[Still seems like Poor Dick Security to him.]
500gallontank: (get in the damn car)

[personal profile] 500gallontank 2017-07-15 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
only joke here is how you keep evading the question

umbrastaff: (4)

[personal profile] umbrastaff 2017-07-15 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
You're an adult, Taako, just tell him to fuck off.

For the record since it bothers you so much, I never saw him at full mast because I'm JOKING.
Edited 2017-07-15 16:37 (UTC)