un: b.zethir, text;

[inlaid]

So tell me something.

If someone wants to go home the people in charge here will do their best to get the portal aligned so they can do just that. At the same time, there's no guarantee they'll ever manage that that someone. Which means that a person waiting for a chance to go home could end up waiting not just for weeks or months but years. Maybe even the rest of their blighted life.

Knowing this, do you think it's better to hold back putting down roots just to make it easier to get up and go if the time comes? Even if it means you may be living your life among the people but distinctly separate from them as they build their lives here?

Or is it stupid to waste time, to waste your life and potential happiness on the off chance that one day you may get to return home one day?

[Is she just being stubborn because she won't be a Council Agent anymore if she doesn't return home, or because it feels like she's selling out for an easier lifestyle and having magic at long last? Her pride and sense of honor stings at the thought. The idea of never seeing her family again, of trading them up these things makes her taste ashes in her mouth. Then again she doesn't really have a choice in the matter right now anyway. She's not actually giving anything up at this point.

Really, the more she thinks about it, the more she's coming to realize that no matter what happens, she's going to have to make sacrifices of one sort or another.]

If any has an opinion or any insight I'd appreciate it.

[There's only so long she can sit on this fence before she drives herself even crazier than she feels now.]

Comments

[realimperfect]

All you can do is make decisions on what you have and know now. Waiting around isn't productive in any sense.

I'm just going to live by my own rulings while I'm here. If the time comes to go, I'll decide from there what to do.

[inlaid]

A practical, reasonable approach.

[Though Re-L can't see it, Bryn pauses to scrub her face with her hand. It's hard to shake the feeling that that she may be betraying her oaths to do that, but perhaps it's the fact that she's enjoying the time away that's troubling her most.]

It doesn't trouble you to think of how much harder the decision will be if you've settled in here in the meantime?

[realimperfect]

Depends on how you term 'settling in.' Still, I try not to think too hard on things so possibly far away that haven't occurred yet.

Trying to prepare for something with a questionable time frame isn't exactly a fruitful way to spend time. You could still have another four years or so in the Quarantine, really. Spending time alone and not dealing with anyone else would make that a very long time frame to spend.

[inlaid]

It's not that I'm unwilling to be around people. I have friends and I have something of a social life.

But there are other jobs and perhaps even relationships I'd pursue if it seemed best to treat this like I'll be here for the long haul. Not just a year or four years but ten, twenty, thirty.

The problem of course being that if the portal opens up a year later and I'm committed to these things or people...

[She doesn't finish her sentence. In the end there's probably no perfect answer to this. One way or another she's going to be screwed over by the unpredictable nature of her stay in the quarantine.]

[realimperfect]

Hesitation only leads to more indecision. Either you'll live removed enough from other people to leave on a moment's notice or surrender to the fact hat life here is day to day and nothing past that, really.

[ A bit black and white, yes, but Re-L tends to be that way when she's thinking things out instead of having to act on them. ]

[inlaid]

It's not day to day here for everyone, however. For some it's a commitment to a new beginning. Five years and they're happy to go down to the main planet.

I expect I'll have to decide for myself sooner rather than later and resign myself to accept what happens, one way or another.

[realimperfect]

Well, if those people are committed, and want to stay, then no doubt those in charge of sending people who want to go back to their world won't put them at the top of their priority list, or really anywhere near it.

Yes, as will everyone, eventually. I know a few who had, presumably, already decided one way or another. I'm undecided myself.

[inlaid]

I appear to be in good company, at least.

I don't think I caught your name earlier. We haven't met yet, right?

[realimperfect]

Not that I know of, no.

My name is Re-L.

[inlaid]

Bryn. Nice to meet you Re-L, and I mean it.

Not every day you meet someone sensible and practical, after all.

[realimperfect]

I do what I can. I don't like things to be.. over blown, myself.

[inlaid]

And how often do you manage avoid overblown situations?

[realimperfect]

As often as I can possibly manage. I've had enough of them, lately. I could stand with a few years respite.

[inlaid]

Then I hope you're given the time you want. It sounds as if you deserve it.

[realimperfect]

We'll see. I could be called to go back to my version of Earth tomorrow, after all.

Which wouldn't be all bad, but I would miss a proper bed.

[inlaid]

You don't have a proper bed back home??

[realimperfect]

I do have a bed it's just.. not nearly as large or comfortable. Not much is available in the way of luxury or comfort anymore, considering it's a nuclear wasteland. But there are people who have less, so..

[inlaid]

Knowing the state of your world back home...what would convince you to return to that?

[realimperfect]

I still have people there waiting for me.

I'll go back, eventually. But I don't think some time to.. sort myself out is all that terrible, either.

[inlaid]

No, I don't think so either. What do you spend your time doing here? Or what will you do until you return?

[realimperfect]

Working. Occasionally out for a drink and some food with someone I've met along the way. Mostly.. the mundane things I used to do when I lived in the dome.

What I'll do .. well, I'm not sure. I'm trying not to plan it so stringently.

[inlaid]

Well, if you're interested in company for drinks here, let me know. Could always use new friends willing to kill an hour or two with a good cocktail or beer.

[realimperfect]

I'll keep it in mind for the next time I'm feeling like a drink.

[inlaid]

Please do. I'll save you a stool. First round is on me.

Have a drink of choice?

[realimperfect]

I prefer red wines, but when push comes to shove I'll drink just about anything.