riverview | text; @fromTV☂

What's up, chucklefucks, it's me, Taako, everybody's favorite wizard here to beg, desperately, for you to entertain me for next eight fucking hours while I mess with this spell.

["This spell" being his transmutation stone that he needs to remake, but it takes eight hours to prepare and honestly, he's going to go crazy.]

I'll even help you out here but giving you a starting point or several, cause I'm just amazing like that.

First off, give ch'boy some movies to watch or music to listen to. Don't bother recommending Beyoncé I'm all over that already. I can't imagine any of you being interesting enough to keep me amused for eight hours so like, this is my back up plan.

The main plan is let's play a fucking game, I was gonna go with truth or dare but it's hard to police that shit on the network so we're doing two truths and a lie instead.

Ready?

1. I've been a professor
2. I turned a dude into a cat for cheating on me and never turned him back
3. One time I fucked up a spell and everything I drank tasted like key lime gogurt for six months

[[ooc: feel free to threadjack on this one if it gets interesting]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you trying to antagonize me into fucking some bones?

I would never.

How would that even work? Unless you've got a pile of bones lying around

I could craft a decent illusion.

Or I could flay someone alive and take the bones. Whatever works.

I'm starting to wonder if this is more about you than me

Is there something you want to tell me? This is a safe space, I promise not to be weirded out by your kinks

[ Loki considers this. ]

I don't think I have many. I have always been fluid in nature. There are rarely societal conventions or abnormal ones that turn me away.

I'm afraid we're not all as fluid as you,
the skeletons are gonna have to fuck themselves.

It's not my fault I'm centuries old.

[ Loki plz. ]

So am I!

You've only hit three, haven't you?

I've hit an amount, I know it's not as many as you, but I think my point stands.

I suppose I can't deny it. I'm not entirely sure how old I am anyway.

Shouldn't that shit be on record somewhere? If you're royalty?

Normally. But I was taken and I doubt the All-Father consulted anyone in that regard. Most likely, he simply picked a date and it stood as truth.

I do not think it is inaccurate, but it is most likely a close approximation, nothing more.

Oh you're talking in like, months? I was thinking decades, I can't fucking remember my birthday either.

[They've traveled through so many worlds with different calendars that he stopped keeping track.]

It could be longer. I have no way of knowing.

[ Not that he cares all that much. The less he knows about the Frost Giants, the better. And as far as lies go, Loki isn't all that concerned about a missing date of birth. ]

Babies are babies, right? You can't be a baby for like decades.

Right?

I would assume not. But I know little of Frost Giants. I age like normal Asgardians so I assume the answer is no.

Then you're probably only out by like, months, not years.

Hey can I ask a question about the whole... thing or is it something you would super prefer not to talk about?

Most likely.

What is it? I can't guarantee an answer but I will hear you out.

Why are you medium sized despite the whole "giant" part?

It is because I am half. I do not know where the other half hails from though. Perhaps some other changeling species.

That tracks.

There's a girl here who didn't know what she was either. That'd be so fucking weird to me like, I know I'm not super attached to elf culture or whatever but I can't picture not knowing.

I didn't know. Chances are, they would have never told me.

Family can be like that, I guess.

(no subject)

dothelokimotion - 2017-09-16 04:43 (UTC) - Expand