text; @fromTV☂

[spellslots]

What's up, chucklefucks, it's me, Taako, everybody's favorite wizard here to beg, desperately, for you to entertain me for next eight fucking hours while I mess with this spell.

["This spell" being his transmutation stone that he needs to remake, but it takes eight hours to prepare and honestly, he's going to go crazy.]

I'll even help you out here but giving you a starting point or several, cause I'm just amazing like that.

First off, give ch'boy some movies to watch or music to listen to. Don't bother recommending Beyoncé I'm all over that already. I can't imagine any of you being interesting enough to keep me amused for eight hours so like, this is my back up plan.

The main plan is let's play a fucking game, I was gonna go with truth or dare but it's hard to police that shit on the network so we're doing two truths and a lie instead.

Ready?

1. I've been a professor
2. I turned a dude into a cat for cheating on me and never turned him back
3. One time I fucked up a spell and everything I drank tasted like key lime gogurt for six months

[[ooc: feel free to threadjack on this one if it gets interesting]]

Comments

[spellslots]

Pasta, for sure.

[He tries to avoid poultry as much as possible.]

I opened a bottle of red that turned out way too shitty even for me, you wanna use that as a base for the sauce to get rid of it?

[umbrastaff]

Gotcha.

[Lup only eats garlic chicken at restaurants now, if she gets the hankering for it.]

...wait, if it's that fucking bad, why would I ruin a sauce with it?

[spellslots]

You won't notice by the time it's reduced, it's not like it's a cooking wine.

[There's too much salt in those.]

[umbrastaff]

I know, I know. It just hurts my delicate chef instincts.

[She leans back a bit and drop a couple of of jelly beans in her mouth.]

Getting any fun guesses yet?

...and didn't you actually turn someone into a cat once for being a huge dick? That's a sneaky lie.

[spellslots]

There is nothing about you that's delicate.

[Well.

She plays violin, but that would ruin the joke.]

And, c'mon, did you expect me to play fair?

[She's met him.]

[umbrastaff]

Damn right there isn't.

[She says with her mouth full, just to prove a point.]

...and can't a sister congratulate her brother for his evil schemes?

[spellslots]

If this is getting called evil I'm really disappointed in the rest of the fucking universe.

[They need to up their game, clearly.]

[umbrastaff]

Hey, this place needs a slow start on the evil schemes, okay?

[Hey bro lets pull some hustles???]

[spellslots]

So we're just warming up?

[absolutely.]

[umbrastaff]

Damn right.

[Oh look how terrible at pool they are all of the sudden...]