riverview | text: un scavenger.rey

Oh come on! It's fine! I was fine!

You made me think someone purposefully turned you into a bird.

A tiny, tiny bird that could be eaten by a cat.

You were not fine at that point, at least in my mind.

Okay. Okay. Fair. You know I'm going to have to try a smaller bird at some point though, right?

Assuming Taako keeps agreeing to do it.

I would feel better about this if you had..I don't know, back up? Just in case?

That's a big fucking assumption, huh?

[He sounds... less than amused. Unamused, if you will.]

It is. [Oh, Taako doesn't sound happy. See Poe? This is what happens when you assume things.]

I'm sorry for the trouble this has caused, Taako. [She sounds very sincere, please don't be mad at Poe. Please. Please.]

Yeah, well, shit happens.

[There's two parts to this: one is that he's being painted in a shitty light by some people and that frustrates him. If he's going to get called dangerous for something, at least let him have earned it. The second part is that he doesn't appreciate everyone knowing he did a cool magic thing for someone, because now they'll assume they can have the cool magic thing, too.]

I'll save my annoyance in case this actually starts a witch hunt.

[She really didn't want this to happen, and really, she's regretting it now. She should've kept a better eye on Poe, and talked him out of it.]

I haven't said anything bad about you, and that it was Poe's doing, more or less. I know you're not a bad person or anything of the sort.

And I'll try and keep Poe from asking you to turn him into anything else. I'm truly sorry, Taako.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of a bad person, just not for this reason.

[Call him out for all the shit he's actually done and he'd cop to it.]

Don't worry about Poe, you're not his mom.

[....they'll have to talk about the whole 'bad person' thing later. One thing at a time.]

He is one of my best friends, I can't help but worry. [She pauses for a moment, sorting out her words.]

You had a glimpse into the life I had when I was younger. I refuse to lose anyone, and I will protect my friends with everything I am.

[Hence the worrying, the concern, and freaking out if he was okay.]

I get that, darling, but maybe next time check with involved parties before posting about their shit publicly.

[In a rare moment of self-reflection, Taako realizes why he's annoyed.

This just brought back all the shit with Lup doing the same thing after his fight with Lucretia.]

{She wants to open her mouth and say he didn't exactly come forward with this, that he could've told her not to worry, but she's had a hand in this too.]

You're right...I shouldn't have done that.

[She can admit when she's wrong, and really, she did a big mistake here by saying who exactly cast the spell...]

I'm sorry.

It's cool, we're cool.

[He's still a little frustrated, but he knows neither Rey or Poe meant any harm with what they did, so it's hard to stay annoyed.]

Poe's cool, too, I'm not gonna turn him into anything horrible as revenge or whatever.

I don't think we are. I don't think an apology covers everything.

[There's a pause.]

I wasn't thinking you would...I was thinking you wouldn't speak to him for a while.

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Listen, Rey. You don't have to take responsibility for me, okay? You don't have to take care of me, you don't have to be my keeper.

[ He's getting a little tired out by what is largely, to his mind, a tempest in a teakettle. ]

You're not my keeper. I've been in the military for fourteen years. I flew Civilian Defense on Yavin 4 before that. I've been an adult for a long, long time, and the only person who needs to take responsibility for me is me.

[She is trying to take this with a grain of salt, trying to understand. Trying to remain calm.]

I don't have to do anything, but I do want to take care of a friend. I thought that's what we were.

[Both of them are getting tired of this and it's more her fault for posting this, but it's a learning experience.]

Are you really pulling rank on me, Dameron? You don't think I know you're an adult? I know you're an adult who can make their own decision, and their own mistakes, but for Force's sake I was worried you--!! [Had disappeared, could've vanished and left and...other things.]

[No, calm down. There isn't a need to get riled up. This...she should drop and just clear her head for a while.]

Do what you want, Dameron.

[ He takes a deep breath, counts to five, reminds himself that she's outside the purview of the Resistance military. ]

Telling you I'm an adult isn't pulling rank. Reminding you that you're a kid and I'm an adult? That's pulling rank. And if I need to do it, Rey, then fine. You are not my keeper, you never were, and you will never be. I've been shooting people out of the sky almost longer than you've been alive. The only person in this galaxy or any other that I answer to without question is General Organa.

[ He sighs. ] Should I have told you differently? Yeah, maybe. Am I sorry I did it? No, I'm not. I have my reasons, and I don't owe them to you. Be mad at me. That's fine. But don't pretend that this was somehow more dangerous than strapping myself into an X-wing and throwing my life at the First Order. This was a friend giving me a gift I couldn't have dreamed of back home, and me turning it into trouble for him.

I will do what I want, and it's not because I don't care about your feelings. It's because I don't belong to you. I'm your friend. That's true. But I am also the person I was before you met me, and that's not going to change.

I am not a child. I did not have the luxury of being one on Jakku, or even now. I am an adult at this point, Poe.

I am not asking you to answer to me, nor did I sign up to be your keeper.

You're right, you don't owe me a damn thing. You have your reasons, Poe, and I never asked for them. I only wanted to make sure you were fine. At least I know how ships work and at least I know you have damn chance of coming out of a battle alive. Magic? I don't know a damn thing about it or what to do if something did happen.

I have my reasons for being mad at you, but I'm trying to be supportive of you. I'm not trying to change you in any way, Poe.

But what you fail to see is the bigger picture in all of this. If you can't see it, I can't help you.

[He left, not of his own will, she knows, but damnit he did. She was dealing with the emotions of losing him, of thinking she could've prevented his departure and worrying that she might fail at that again.

And damnit, it hurts to be fighting with him.]

Edited 2017-12-06 05:12 (UTC)

[ Quieter: ] You're still a kid, Rey. Not a child. Maybe you never were one, but you're still a kid.

[ Poe rubs his face with both hands. ]

Which bigger picture? There are a lot of big pictures these days.

[There's a pause as she takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm. To focus on something else than her emotions.] I am not a kid, but good to know where I stand with you.

[She is an adult, she's had to make decisions and if he cannot see that...then that's on him.

And she wants to be childish, and tell him to figure it out. But she can't bring herself to do that.]

You were gone. [Her voice sounds so small then.] You left and I didn't look for you until after the fact. I should've kept a better eye on you, checked in with you to make sure you were okay.

[There's a breath where she shoves more of her emotions down and speaks in a harsher tone.] But I'm not your keeper, so good to know I worried for nothing. Good to know that I spent days blaming myself for what happened, for nothing.

Don't worry, this 'kid' won't concern herself with your well being.

Enough.

[ He wasn't mad. He was tired, he was frustrated, sure. But he wasn't mad.

A moment of silence, of anger held back, and when he speaks, it's quietly. ]

Muran. Lampar. Kun. Asty. Arana. Furillo. Meltsa. Seastriker. Teffer. Wright. I could keep going. Do you know any of those names? Do you know any of those names?

[There's a beat of silence before she speaks again, matching his quiet tone.] No, I don't.

They are gone. Every single one of them. I was their commander, and they died. You blame yourself for what you can't control and you'll either die too or wish you had.

I'm here. I'm right here. I won't go anywhere while the two of you are still here. Not of my own free will. We promised to look after each other, we promised not to leave each other, and if one of us disappears I'm entirely comfortable burning this place to the ground to find out where that person went. But if one of us does disappear, it is no one's fault. If one of us does disappear, it's not because we didn't care enough. This is life. In life, people die. They vanish. The universe takes them. There's nothing we can do about that but keep living until we get taken ourselves.

[ It's a fucking harsh way to try and prove his point, but there they are. ]

[A very harsh way of proving his point, but she takes note and she doesn't want this to become a tic for tact. She wants to react and go for something that'll hurt her, and possibly hurt him more. There's a whisper, a nudge for her to do it, but she doesn't want to give in.]

Then why bother to make a damn promise, Poe? What's the difference between you leaving and you being killed by magic? They're one in the same to me. I was worried, I had a right to be worried, but fine. I won't worry anymore.

Why should I care if someone else leaves? Everyone else does.

[She's tired of talking, and that last bit took a lot out of her. Only a few people have seen that memory of her being left behind.

The conversation ends with Rey hanging up.]

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